Was I treated unfairly?

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Last night I attended my local bar as usual. I turned up at the entrance of the club slightly drunk and one of the bouncers said “go drink some coffee and come back later”. I came back later and I was let in the club.

Later on that evening I was dancing with some girls who ripped my t shirt off on the dance floor. The group of women gave me some some wine too drink as well. All of a sudden this girl came up to me and said something along the lines of “that’s my wine you just drank”. I tried too explain too her that the group of women I was with gave me the wine. A few mins later a bouncer approached me and said “you have got to come with me”. He escorted me outside and said I could not come back in for the rest of the night. I did try to say to him that it was the girls I was with who gave me the wine but he just refused me entry.


Do you think I was treated unfairly? The people that work at the bar I go to know I have a form of autism I think?

Hard to say because the bouncers are not able to see the whole situation. They only see one side. Don't forget. The lady who said you took her drink could be drunk so made a mistake herself. You may find the lady may be asked to leave as well if she carries on so I would not worry about it. Tomorrow is another day. In other words... They have not banned you. They saw you were drunk when you first came in and so they assumed when they let you in and the lady complained, that it was because you were drunk that the situation took place. So from their pointmof view, the kind thing is to say to you it is time to leave. In other words, come back again. If they thought you were a serious problem they would ban you for life.

I posted this question on yahoo answers and I got some hostile replies

“You acted like a jerk, why shouldn't they treat you like that? You were not a functioning adult behaving socially well.”




“Right, autism and alcohol, the unfair part is when they let you in in the first place.”

We only have your side of the story, Jamesy, so we couldn't possibly know what really happened.

The people on Yahoo Answers treated you unfairly cuz they're discriminating against you for being autistic.
I like what MG said. The bouncer only had your word & the girl's word & he probably also assumed you were drunk since you had been drinking before you went to the bar & then drank a bottle of wine while you were there. It doesn't sound like the bouncer had it in for you since he told you that you were welcome back. If he knows you have autism, it's possible he was trying to protect you. He might of assumed you were being pressured or forced into a bad situation cuz of your social awkwardness(the girls thought you were an easy target) or you made some mistakes you thought were OK that typical NTs wouldn't make.

the girls made me take of my shirt. so i was on the dance floor with no shirt for a few seconds

I don't go to clubs so I might say that's not the behavior of a mature functioning adult. Or it may be club behavior at its finest, so who knows.

Try again another night and as the old saying says "keep ya shirt on!" The biggest problem is worrying too much about whether you were treated unfairly or not. Not getting drunk is probably your biggest ally here as well. We have enough odd sensory issues that when alcohol gets into the picture for us Aspies things get very freaky indeed.

Oh yes. Often when I am in partial shutdown mode but I am still able to walk, to observers I sometimes look and appear to be drunk.. So if I shut down and am on the floor, thankfully people assume I have had too much to drink and leave me alone, which is actually the best thing for me as if they started to make a fuss it would really hamper my recovery. Though it has not happened yet, but the worst case scinario for me would be if someone phoned for an ambulance as due to sensory issues of the hospital smells like bleach etc which cause me to shut down, I will be majorly delayed in recovering.. And as during a shutdown I am not wanting to think... And staff training if they assume I have fainted will be speaking loud and clear while tapping my hand etc asking questions like "What is your name?" "What day is it?" "What is your date of birth?" etc will just send me straight back into further shutdowns if I try to answer.

I just feel you should just stay out of bars. You're asking for trouble.

That's what I feel.

This is why I hate clubs and drinking.

I concur.

Make that three.

Quoting myself as I didn't fully explain as I went off on a tangent.

What I was trying to say was, because I get enough issues when going through partial shutdowns which can effect my balance etc... So sometimes when walking it can be like being drunk, the last thing I want is to actually be drunk and get a partial shutdown as well. So I tend not to drink other then a small amount of wine on the rare occasion like with a Christmas meal etc.