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RightGalaxy
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21 Sep 2014, 3:43 pm

My older son has recently married. He complains often about men being constantly after his wife.
I started to remember him as a young teen. He often thought that just because girls were nice to him, they wanted to date him. I think that the same mechanism is at work here for both cases but it's taking a different form. He is NT but now I think maybe this is an aspie thing with him.



elkclan
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22 Sep 2014, 5:28 am

You don't have to be Aspie to have problems with jealousy. A lot of people suffer from an over-active imagination about sexual availability - either in terms of people wanting them when they don't or fantastic ideas about their partners.

I feel sorry for his wife having to live under suspicion.

While there will be some people who may be after his wife (it happens) I doubt it's everyone. And he has to trust her or both their lives will be miserable.



James_Ladrang
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23 Sep 2014, 3:56 pm

As a rule of thumb, I find people expect in others the same behaviours they practice themselves. Your son's expectations of others matches his earlier expectation of himself, however, it seems he is moving on now, which makes this not so much a matter of jealousy as one of trust. Trust is hard to learn, especially when one's past experiences are not good: past betrayals make it hard to trust, others or self.

The road ahead will not be easy for him in this respect. It will require extra effort to be open, for both parties in any relationship, in order for jealousy not to be aroused while time allows for mutual trust to grow. Hopefully there will be friends to guide and encourage, where there is no room for others to doubt anyone's intentions.