automatic complaint-letter generator

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http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator.

The Automatic Complaint-Letter Generator is a website that automatically generates complaint letters. The website was created by Scott Pakin in 1994.

It allows users to submit the name of the individual or company that the complaint is directed toward. The program then generates a random complaint letter that is "general enough to be true or fit anyone and everyone, yet specific enough to mean something".

Try it and see, it's hilarious. Try complaining about the person above you. Post your results. Try to keep it to just one paragraph because it can go on forever.

My complaint about Miss Molly Troubletail:

There are a number of things I can't stand about Miss Molly Troubletail, and I would just love to share them with you. One of my objectives for this letter is to take personal action and provide light, information, and knowledge about Miss Troubletail's poxy recommendations. Instead of friends, she has victims and chums who end up as victims. I undeniably feel sorry for the lot of them. I also feel that Miss Troubletail would have us believe that she's above everyone else. That, of course, is nonsense, total nonsense. But Miss Troubletail is surrounded by stingy woodenheads who parrot the same nonsense, which is why her yahooism society is an inhumane, iniquitous institution if there ever was one. As you know, its agenda has been clear since its creation: infiltration, subversion, and global terror with world conquest as its goal. Stopping it mandates that we always keep one thing in mind, that I would love to be a fly on the wall near where Miss Troubletail and her coalition meet. I'd love to hear how those mordacious, neo-counterproductive jackbooted-types come up with their garrulous schemes for making me the target of a constant, consistent, systematic, sustained campaign of attacks. Then, I'd finally be able to back up my claim that Miss Troubletail will do everything in her power to quash other people's opinions. No wonder corruption is endemic to our society; if I chose to do so I could write exclusively about Miss Troubletail's paternalism-prone hatchet jobs and never be lacking for material. Nonetheless, I'd rather spend some time discussing how Miss Troubletail alleges that the entire concept of happiness is a lie designed by unseen overlords of endless deceptive power. Well, I beg to differ. As a final reminder, please don't let Miss Molly Troubletail's prevarications dissuade you from draining the swamp of influence-peddling and the system of pay-to-play. Let this letter serve as your compass while you journey through her wilderness of lies.

Since you did yourself, I will do Autism Speaks:

My complaint about Autism Speaks

This letter will prepare you to be a more educated and a more active citizen. To do so, it promotes getting the facts out in the hope that somebody else will do something to solve the problem. Consider this letter not as a monologue but rather as a joint effort between writer and reader. Together we shall stand uncompromised in a world that's on the brink of Autism Speaks-induced disaster. Together we shall rub Autism Speaks's nose in its own hypocrisy. And together we shall get Autism Speaks to damp down the bellicosity of its stratagems. Let me end this letter by telling Autism Speaks that I fully intend to push the boundaries of knowledge ever farther. This action is lawful. This action is moral. And this action is right.