Growing up in a rural area/first car

Post Reply New Topic

This applies to you if you grew up in a rural area and the nearest places of employment and schooling were too far to walk or ride a bike to and from.

If this applies to you, how did you get your first car? I mean, living out in a rural area, you can't exactly get to and from a part time job very easily. You kind of have to rely upon someone to get you there and back or someone bought you a car or some kind of reliable motorized vehicle.

I'm 42 years old and I've ever only owned one car before and that was $600 that I had for three months.

Here's my situation in case anyone's interested in why I'm asking:

I'm a stay at home father. My wife needs the car because he job mandates she has it. I live out in the country just far enough that it's an hour and twenty minute walk to and from the city or the closest places where I could work and earn a paycheck. I also have a 7 year old daughter that I'm stuck home with during the summer months because, again, my wife needs the car for work. So we're stuck at home watching TV or doing some other stuff when we could be out and about at parks, museums, nature walks and whatnot. I could also be going to school while my daughter's at school and the wife's at work.

Sometimes I get a little suicidal thinking about it. I think that sometimes I'd be better off not here - one less mouth to feed and that I should go in the garage, close the door and turn on everything that runs on gasoline. But I can't do that to my daughter. I have this vision of her coming home from school and me not being anywhere to be found. She'd be home alone for the two hours it takes my wife to get out of work from the time my kid gets home. She'd be unsafe and afraid. Then my wife gets home. Sees that I'm not around and finds the note. Even worse, my daughter finding the note.

That's why I don't do it. To think, it used to be that I'd miss an episode of Star Trek.

Anyway, please let me know if you think of a way for a lump like me can get a car.

Thanks.

Is it not feasible for you to drive your wife to work and pick her up again?

Do you either of you have family that you could borrow an old beater vehicle from for a few months? If you can manage transportation to a part-time job for a while, while you sock some money away, then you could go to a used car dealer and start making payments on one of your own. Granted, for a couple years, you'd be working almost exclusively to pay for the car, but at least you wouldn't be completely tethered to the house all the time.

That's generally how teenagers do it (unless they have wealthy parents who spoil them by giving them things they haven't earned). My first car was my mom's station wagon, until I got a job and saved enough to make a down payment on an old Pinto (it was 1976).

There's always the possibility that you could find a way to make money from home, working online, or sewing teddy bears or something, but it sounds like you have a mental health need for some independence and fresh air, so an outside job would be therapeutic.

If balance or coordination issues prevent you from riding a bike, consider getting a tricycle.

Completely and utterly not helpful.

And what part of, "she's mandated to have a car where she works" was not clear?

Christ, read the post BEFORE you reply.

This is what I read.

I didn't realize you meant that you and your wife need a car.

oh for effs sake.


We have a car, my wife needs it for her work.

READ THE FU****G POST!

1hr 20 minute from a city is nothing. What's wrong with a bicycle for you and your daughter, a lot cheaper than a car. You could go to work on it and what have you not.

If you live in a mountainous think motorbike...

You only wrote that the job mandates she have a car (i.e. own a car) so I can see why that seemed like a valid suggestion. A lot of jobs mandate their employees have a car because they don't want to worry about employees relying on public transit to get to work or if they work in jobs where they're on a different location every day (how will you know how to get a bus each day when the route is different). if you dropped her off in this case, that would be a valid solution. You didn't mention that she was required to be in it during work hours. If she's a cab driver or a flower delivery person, obviously you wouldn't be able to drop her off at work and use the car while she's working but those are specific cases that you didn't mention applied.

I don't understand why you're getting mad when people are giving you advice. Based on your responses I feel like you believe your problem is impossible to solve so any suggestions are met with you dismissing them. It doesn't seem like the best approach to have if you're attempting to solve this problem.

Maybe our definitions of "mandated" differ somewhat. Mandates means require. She's required to have a car to have the job. She's got the job therefore...

I'm angry because no one gets me and there's no solution and no future for me and I'm expecting help from concrete and black and white thinkers.

Many towns have services for the disabled/elderly/caregivers. Often, these services include field trips to museums and other recreational activities. They may be able to help out.

I totally get you. You're really upset because you're in a situation that seems like a dead end. I can relate. I've been there before (obviously I can't fully understand your specific situation as it is unique to you and you are the only one who truly knows what you're going through). However, every time I've faced a situation where I was about to lose hope and didn't think there was a solution, I eventually figured something out.

In your case, the answer is to do everything you can to get a car and in the mean time find another way to get around. If that means riding a bike an hour and a half every day to a job while you save up, then so be it.

I worked at AOL when I was still in college. The men and women I worked with made 6 figure salaries and had multiple cars. I knew of quite a few people who rode a bike to work for an hour and a half every day instead of driving their high end luxury cars for 30 minutes in traffic because they wanted the exercise and didn't want to deal with traffic. When they did drive, they complained about the traffic. Everyone likes to think they're a victim of something. You'd be surprised how one problem causes another. . .

If you truly can't balance on a bicycle well enough to get to work on it, why is a tricycle not a helpful suggestion? I mean, the food delivery riders in a lot of big cities ride 100s of miles a week on tricycles bringing people pizza or chinese food. Obviously they'e a valid mode of transportation... Your response to that suggestion was "Completely and utterly not helpful. "

If your response is "how am I going to bring the kid" (but i don't think that's a problem because you said she's at school when you want to travel) my answer is that I see tons of people riding on bike trails that have attached carriers for children (even age 7 and up)



off topic but sounds like the definition of mandate is correct. But the definition of "have a car" is "own a car." When someone asks you "what kind of car do you have" they aren't asking you what kind of car do you have with you at this very moment. They mean "what kind of car do you own?" In that case, she'd still technically own the car if you drove her to work. You can drive another person's car without them transferring the ownership to you. obviously it doesn't matter what other people incorrectly assumed you meant because that really isn't the point. You can't use your wife's car for some reason.

Alex has the right idea--you need to work with wife as a team so she can land one of those 6 figure salaries and have multiple cars!

You need to do whatever it takes for her to get ahead in her job. And, when she starts raking in the big bucks, you all benefit!