Silly Comebacks

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Two years ago, when I was still living with my parents, I let my dog out and I was looking out the sliding glass door to the patio, waitng for my dog to go to the bathroom. There were some people behind us, having a party. Some guy with a deep voice said, "That ret*d is looking out her door". I've yelled out to the party animals, "Your Souls are ret*d"! There were two minutes of dead silence. One of the women asked that guy what he said, and he told them exactly what he said.

What was the silliest comeback that you've come up with?

I was also between obsessions, so you could imagine that I was a pretty bitter person.

Some friends and I were hanging out at my buddies house, playing video games, watching movies, etc. One of the guys, Adam, was drinking chocolate milk. We had been there for a while, and the ashtrays were all full, but none of us wanted to get up from the game to empty them. I noticed that Adam's bottle of chocolate milk only had about a mouthful left in it, and it had been sitting on the desk for a long while. He asked him if he was done drinking it, so I could put my cigarette out in it until we took a break to clean up. He replied that he was, so I threw it away.

About half an hour later, Adam looks up from his game and realizes that his chocolate milk has a wet cigarette butt in it. A truly silly argument ensues. He rales on about the $0.89 of hard earned money that I wasted, denies ever telling me that he was done with it, and demands that I buy him a new chocolate milk. I didn't like the guy very much to begin with, and I ended up getting so frustrated that I screamed, "F*ck you... F*ck your momma... and F*ck your chocolate milk!" Everybody cracked up. It's been kind of a catch phrase amongst that group of friends ever since.

Yesterday my friend was reading a book during our study period after lunch. His friend was trying to get his attention, and told him to "Stop being boring!" He then turned to me and asked for my help. I told my friend "Stop being boring," and he responds "You know what Dan? Stay out of it and play your DS, or I'll break it." I responded "You can't break it. It's in my pants (what I meant was my pocket)." The argument went on for a while until he hit me in the knee, and I shouted "Ow! That's no way to get into my pants!" His friend started cracking up, and then my friend was more cross with me than ever!

one girl called me frankenstine, this was during pe class, we were doing rollerskating. i couldn't think of anything so i just put my arms out ahead of me, began to move robotically and said "wraaaahhhrrr!! !!"

One of the things that I feel would fit into that category was when I found out that Ray Price had a new album out recently.

Ray Price is a country singer, but I think he's about 70 years old. It's amazing that he's had something new come out, especially considering I hadn't heard anything about him in a while!

Ooooh, do you remember when Pat Boone made his "comeback" in the Nineties? The guy was in his sixties and had built his reputation on über-caucasian gospel shmaltz and white buckskin shoes. All of a sudden, he's wearing black leather fetish gear to the Grammies and doing swingtime covers of Black Sabbath songs. It was GREAT.

Yes, that was unbelievable!

I heard a story about him actually turning heavy metal music into soft rock songs.

That sounds interesting, but I don't even know if it's true.

It's kind of a silly comeback which I use to wind up people sometimes.

If someone tries and offends me I sometimes blurt out "YEAH, AND SO'S YOUR FACE!! !"

Do you mean you're like that in real life?

Sometimes. Only if I'm bored.

Interesting!

YEAH, AND SO'S YOUR FACE!

What?

Here's what you say:

'You want a comeback? you want a comeback? No need there's plenty of come on your back already!'

lol

Really?