24 Brilliant New Words You Should Start Using

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masturdating
Going out alone to a movie or restaurant.

bedgasm
A feeling of euphoria experienced when climbing into bed at the end of a very long day.

cellfish
An individual who continues talking on their cell phone so as to be rude or inconsiderate of other people.

dudevorce
When two bros officially end their friendship.

askhole
Someone who asks many stupid, pointless or obnoxious questions.

internest
The cocoon of blankets and pillows you gather around yourself whilst spending long periods of time on the internet.

textpectation
The anticipation felt when waiting for a response to a text.

nonversation
A completely worthless conversation; small talk.

chairdrobe
Piling clothes on a chair in place of a closet or dresser; see also floordrobe.

errorist
Someone who repeatedly makes mistakes, or is always wrong.

unlightening
Learning something that makes you dumber.

hiberdating
When a person ignores their friends in favour of a girlfriend/boyfriend.

destinesia
When you get to where you were intending to go, but forget why you were going there in the first place.

columbusing
When white people claim to have discovered something that has been around for years, decades or centuries.

youniverse
Used to indicate that a person has knowledge only of him or herself; their universe consists only of them.

carcolepsy
A condition where the passenger falls asleep as soon as the car starts moving.

ambitchous
Striving to be more of a b***h than the average b***h.

unkeyboardinated
When you're unable to type without repeatedly making mistakes.

afterclap
The last person who claps after everyone else has stopped.

beerboarding
Extracting secret information from a colleague after getting them drunk.

nerdjacking
Filling a conversation with unnecessary detail about one's passion to an otherwise uninitiated, uninterested layperson.

doppelbanger
A person who has sexual intercourse with someone that looks identical to them but is not related.

epiphanot
An idea that seems like an amazing insight to the conceiver, but is in fact pointless, mundane, stupid or incorrect.

nomonym
A food that tastes like another food.

'Nerdjacking' is hilarious and appropriate.

I have a 'bedgasm' every single night. I LOOOOOOVE my bed!

These aren't really new words, they're just combinations of old ones. They make up ones in commercials all the time that sound really stupid, like "coughenquences" and "swapportunity".

Although it would be funny to try some of these words. "Gee mom, I really had carcolepsy on our drive to Halifax". And I'm also quite into the internest, and turkey is a nomonym of chicken, which is a nomonym of everything else. Muhaha, it'll be like a new language and people won't understand me at all.
Not that they do, anyway...