Dad Jokes For Father's Day!

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Kid: If I behave, will you give me 20$?
Dad: What? When I was your age, I was good for nothing!

Kid: I'm going to the playground to play on the monkey bars.
Dad: Well okay, but if you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me!

Kid at Sunday School: I know where God lives. It's the bathroom at my house!
Sunday School Teacher: Why on earth would you think that?
Kid: Because I'm always hearing Dad pounding on the door and yelling, "God! Are you still in there?

Teacher on phone: So, Mikey can't come to school today because he has a bad cold? Whom may I ask is calling?
Kid's voice: This is Mikey's Father.

A dad is someone whose daughter marries a man who is vastly inferior, yet somehow manages to give him brilliant grandchildren.

To my dad, who is a kind, smart, attractive, talented person... you sure do take after your daughter!