im non verbal ASD

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when struugle and fight in word this mean i hate myselfe

I know the feeling.
It is very frustrating.
After years of speech therapy, all I can do it crank out one word at a time reading them from a list.
Hating yourself in this situation seems inevitable.
But it's really like a blind person hating themselves for not being able to see.

I'm NT but I have a neurological disorder similar to ALS. There are times when my verbal ability is severely limited. This will keep getting worse as I get older until I won't be able to talk or move around anymore.

I didn't know that I had this until I was in my late 20s, so I had a long period of health, thinking I was like everyone else.

I know what you're saying. I feel like that when I'm having trouble, and I also feel panic because I know there will be a time when I won't get better and be able to speak again.

Having a way to communicate definitely helps you feel less angry and helpless. Keep practicing and communicating should get easier. We're always here if you want to vent.

I bet there's lots of Genius in your mind, CarCard, which I hope you will be able to discover, through being able to communicate via computer.

What kind of things interest you?

It's ok if you can't speak. There are many non-verbal people who use computers or other devices in order to communicate. The fact you can is great and you can keep coming here to build your communication. Don't give up. It's always very interesting to see what non-verbal autistics have to say through writing. I don't think you should hate yourself.

I completely agree, and think that using a keyboard/computer is a wonderful way to reach out to everyone!
Please don't feel too discouraged. I bet you have a lot that you could show/do for the world!
Glad to see you here.

I just think it's beautiful that you can communicate in writing even though you are non-verbal. It feels like magic

I'm sorry it's so hard for you to express yourself, but here's hoping it'll get easier with time.

if you want, you could try to tell us about yourself...we will gladly listen to you
you are welcome here
we won't treat you badly

Yes indeed. I am very thankful for it.