Oh yes some but some things that happened were out of my control.
Out of my control-
1. I do sort of wish I had finished community college, but I had to take a half load and work full time. I had wanted to quit the job and just gone to school full time. However, I was living at home, and my parents were paying the tuition, so I was stuck.
2.Living in my parents' house till I was 25, I couldn't afford to live on my own. Became stressful and with my dad stressed from work, I was the one it got taken out on.
3.Wish I would have gotten support for my anger problems and would have maybe gotten tested for ASD, TBF no one knew 20 years ago, at least I didn't but I was told my problems were " In my head" .
4. Not to contradict myself but I was pushed into going to school for something I didn't want to do but was told I needed to go for something practical and to basically " little boy dreams don't make money". I wanted something fulfilling not money.
Could Control-
1. Dating a girl when deep down my heart wasn't it, I tried but I just couldn't do it. Realized it didn't feel right because I was truly gay but could never admit it to myself and even if I did I would have worried about getting kicked out of the house or it causing drama in the family. It was my choice in the end but.. I kind of got pushed into the thing. Feel bad about that one still but it is what it is.
2. Up until a couple years, constantly apologizing for past mistakes. Those days are over and also I WILL NOT apologize for who I am, if I make you uncomfortable because of my condition that's your problem.
3. Made some dumb money decisions when I was younger in my 20s, credit cards, a car, etc... Lived and learned.
4. Getting in with the wrong people of people at work. Red flags I choose to ignore and regretted it for years.
So at 45, I just don't know anymore. All I can do is my best and not repeat past mistakes.