when i was a kid i thought...

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That there was a secret universe behind the dining room wall. I had only to find the secret switch, to get in!

bananas were pure evil. i had a fantasy of the door bell ringing, me running to the door, and thrusting opening the door to find thousands of animated bananas standing on my front lawn. one banana would yell "ATTAAAACK!! !!" and every banana would come down on me in a swarm!

I also believed that my stuffed animals came alive at night, that my stuffed bears had thoughts and feelings and memory (but I KNOW that they have souls!), that I would always be good in school and sports, that I did not have a neurological wierdness or disorder, that I was simply better or brought up better than other kids, that my mother was trying to make me like her, that my parents weren't hateful to the point where they'd slander each other, etc.

oh...that the Easter Bunny was like a cartoon but in real life...(i thought cartoon people and animals could exist)...I would wait for him in the back yard. I thought he would emmerge from the alley behind our house....

That when you put letters in the free-standing mail boxes, that they travelled down a chute that took them all the way to the post office...

um...lets see...that's all I can think of off the top of my head.....there was something about dinosaurs iving underground when I was really little....

When I was a kid I thought God wasn't such a bad guy and I looked forward to being an adult.

I thought it would all make sense.

I also thought it was cool to hide myself in a sliding door bookcase . And pass gas.

I closed the door partly so none would get out. Hey I was in a self discovery phase. This was back when I had to reach overhand to get to the doorknob.

I thought the loser of the presidential election became the vice president.

I thought that God and the Nutcracker Prince were best friends.

That the incredible hulk could step through the tv screen
My soft toys could feel the cold
That throwing your voice was a very clever trick some people knew so they could make there voice come from somewhere else
That i could go to carebear land if i believed it hard enough because it said so in the book
That if i was shouted at i must be bad
That id go to hell for spending my dinner money on sweets.

As a young child I never saw any picture of a brain so despite having some knowledge about that organ's existence I was completely unable to imagine how it could look like In my view brains looked like big, sticky festers in human heads I was maybe 4 in that time and this fact is a good justification Well, to tell the truth some people really seem to have festers (or sometimes even nothing at all) in the place where normal people have brains

i was terrified of being sucked down the plug hole in the bath

When I was a kid I thought I was white and Irish just like my dad was, I'm Korean adopted,

I thought that when I grew up my parents would grow down.

I thought England and New York were on the same continent.

I thought cartoons were made by people wearing costumes.

when i was a kid i thought nats were called fa***ts, im serious! richard funfact- when i went quail hunting and we were in the feilds i was all swatting the general area of my face saying "get these fa***ts away from me!" what a clown!

I thought that cows hatched from eggs - because the Amish man who worked for my grandfather would throw the eggshells from his alongside the pasture.

I also thought cows made the best audience for my singing performance - hey they'd come from 1/2 a mile away to hear my singing. And unlike people they actually seemed to enjoy listening

... Disney Channel was stupid.

I thought the fbi knew it all..