Board index › Off Topic Discussion › Random Discussion

Ever been mistaken for a homosexual?

Page 1 of 3 [ 39 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Sagroth
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 590
Location: Kansas

29 Dec 2011, 7:44 pm

I was thought to be gay by a lot of people in my college years, most notably by most every girl in my European History class(for reasons I still have yet to understand). This despite the fact that I in no way find my gender sexually attractive or have ever even been the least bit curious on that front. I've always wondered if it was because I had(and still have) multiple gay friends or perhaps because of my own awkward mannerisms. Or perhaps that I used to have a difficult time expressing my attraction towards members of the opposite sex.

Has this happened to anyone else? Is this a common thing among Aspies? Do you have any insight into why?


_________________
KWATZ!


Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

29 Dec 2011, 7:50 pm

No, but I was often pegged as queer in high school.

Many people seem to mistake me for being straight for some reason.



kfisherx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Nov 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,192

29 Dec 2011, 7:54 pm

Always and also have been mistaken for a guy my whole life. VERY common in ASD people I understand.



Seanwookie
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 10 Dec 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 31

29 Dec 2011, 7:58 pm

People used to joke like I was gay a bit in high school. Didn't like it back then, but wouldn't care really if they said it now.


_________________
My blog http://www.autisticblogger.com


Jory
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Jun 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,520
Location: Tornado Alley

29 Dec 2011, 8:11 pm

Every guy I've dated thought that I was a gay guy, and I still don't know why. What is it about me that gives off that vibe? Was it all the dating and kissing and sex?

:shrug:



InTheDeepEnd
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 214
Location: Southern United States

29 Dec 2011, 8:44 pm

I'm a lesbian. Often mistaken for a boy but never for a straight woman. Which I guess is good but it would have been flattering to have at least 1 guy interested in me.



PM
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Oct 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,466
Location: Southeastern United States

29 Dec 2011, 8:59 pm

I have had some people think I was gay. When I was younger, I was labeled gay in a derogatory manner.


_________________
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

29 Dec 2011, 9:09 pm

Sagroth wrote:
Ever been mistaken for a homosexual?

Yes.

Sagroth wrote:
Has this happened to anyone else?

Yes.

Sagroth wrote:
Is this a common thing among Aspies?

I don't know.

Sagroth wrote:
Do you have any insight into why?

Given that the only ones who have made this mistake have been boys and men who have hit on me, I think that it is safe to say that there are homosexuals who hope that I am gay.

However, since my usual reaction to their come-ons is a polite "Thank you, but that would have been nicer coming from a real woman", and this reaction seems to be enough to drive them off, I have never found out why they would hit on a gimpy old troll like me in the first place.



pete1061
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Nov 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,766
Location: Portland, OR

29 Dec 2011, 9:32 pm

No, I don't get mistaken for homosexual.

But people keep thinking I'm jewish for some odd reason.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 172 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 35 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Diagnosed in 2005


asdmaster
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 13
Location: Norwegian riviera

29 Dec 2011, 9:35 pm

Several friends through the years have thought I was gay too :lol: Probably because they never see me in a romantic relationship, so they think I'm a closet case. Plus I don't really deny it either, just for fun. A lot of people say I look like an east european too. I find it so funny giving the impression of being a gay russian :D



Georgia
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2010
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 242
Location: At the foot of the mountain

29 Dec 2011, 9:48 pm

I usually dress for comfort, so for whatever reason some people equate that with being a homosexual. People thought my husband was gay until we got married. Quite a pair we make.

Also, I stare a lot. Sometimes people think that means I'm flirting with them. Sometimes the person may be very attractive, or interesting looking, or just impossible to read because what they are saying isn't making sense. (verbal directions for instance) I don't know how to fix my face to match what I'm thinking.


_________________
Hoppiness is lurv.


Ganondox
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,778
Location: USA

29 Dec 2011, 10:02 pm

Yes. Intellectual + not flirting with girls + awkward = gay or something.


_________________
Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.html


scmnz
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 125
Location: New mexico, USA

29 Dec 2011, 10:11 pm

I can not stand the feeling of long hair, and in highschool a girl with short hair who is awkward and has few friends is often accused of being a lesbian.



Aimless
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2009
Age: 67
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,187

29 Dec 2011, 10:15 pm

People will assume that if you're not behaving in ways particular to your gender and if you aren't seen in a relationship. I've had people wonder about me. I'm not, my body responds to men if it's going to respond at all. The funny thing is if I were I would still be just as clueless and alone.


_________________
Detach ed


TheSunAlsoRises
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Dec 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,039

29 Dec 2011, 11:21 pm

Sagroth wrote:
I was thought to be gay by a lot of people in my college years, most notably by most every girl in my European History class(for reasons I still have yet to understand). This despite the fact that I in no way find my gender sexually attractive or have ever even been the least bit curious on that front. I've always wondered if it was because I had(and still have) multiple gay friends or perhaps because of my own awkward mannerisms. Or perhaps that I used to have a difficult time expressing my attraction towards members of the opposite sex.

Has this happened to anyone else? Is this a common thing among Aspies? Do you have any insight into why?


The Autistic has trouble reading and responding to verbal and no verbal cues in any given social situation. So i suspect, an inability to pick up on and respond to social cues from the opposite sex can be mistaken as having a preference for ones own gender. How ? Family, friends, co-workers, and strangers judge your body language and actions by a set of social standards. On a micro-level, IF you hardly ever make eye contact, hardly initiate conversation and seem to not notice the features (facial and body) of the opposite sex than people might mistaken your unique problems in these areas as a sign of homosexuality. On a macro level, an avoidance of crowds(inclusive of women), an inability to follow the eye gaze of a male friend watching a pretty lady (joint attention), and an overall focus toward your special interest leads people to speculate on just how important the opposite sex is to you. IF the opposite sex does NOT seem to be a priority than you get labelled as having a preference for your own gender. Also, it's possible that Autistics are egalitarian in their treatment of others i.e showing no preferential treatment toward either gender could be mistaken as having a preference for your own.

What I stated above holds true for many Neurotypicals too. Our social mind developed in a different way so we are often-times unaware of the reasons that drives others behavior toward us.

The Social Mind<--------

TheSunAlsoRises



Cornflake
Administrator
Administrator

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 70,338
Location: Over there

30 Dec 2011, 12:55 am

[Moved from General Autism Discussion to Random Discussion]


_________________
Giraffe: a ruminant with a view.