NT Question Here

Post Reply New Topic

I was just talking with Mr. S. and asked him his first name and he told me. This made me wonder about something.....and I may have asked this before, but I cannot remember.

My question is: Why do some here feel free to tell me their first name while others don't feel comfortable for some reason? Some of you I have been talking to for quite a while and I still don't know your first name while mine is just right out there. I don't get it, it's not like a first name is going to tell someone where you are even if they did find the approximate location in which you live. I don't understand all of the secretive stuff.

There's some stuff I post about here that I would rather my family not know about.

^ i second that sentiment.

i guess some people have already put out some personal information and regret it (or not), and feel like revealing their name, even their first, would only help tie it all together and endanger them.

some just don't feel like it is important enough to post. you can reveal only your first name, but couple that with a picture of yourself you've posted and that can say quite a bit. perhaps it might not be that total strangers can steal your identity, but acquaintances or relatives who browse here for whatever reason, can easily identify you that way. i really don't want that.

i've revealed my name on here before a couple times in posts, but those are mostly in old, forgotten threads and i've gone back and edited some of them out.

i usually get PM requests from people for me to edit or delete posts that have personal information they regret sharing. if it's only a few posts, i can follow through with that no problem, but i'd advise to really think twice before they post about how much they're comfortable with sharing, both now, and in hindsight, so they don't have to resort to this.

this is IMO a basic rule of posting on the web, and not all sites allow content to be taken back as easily as this one (at the mod's discretion of course).

So what you are both saying is that you wouldn't have a problem telling me your first name in a PM if I asked? Just so the info isn't out where just anyone could see it? I always make sure not to use the person's name in any of the forums once they have told me. Actually, it's hard for me to remember names, tbh.

I'd assume that anything written in an email could be made public despite the best intentions of the recipient.

As an NT, all of this no-name stuff is just strange. It's hard for a person to have any interest or "care" about someone and the good things that happen to them or the bad things that happen to them if they have a problem even telling their first name. A name is important - to me - especially when I am telling some personal information about myself or listening to someone else. A first name is personal, otherwise, the person is nothing more than a stranger on the street (imo). For the ones who have told me their first names, thank you, because it does mean a lot to me. I don't know if it's because I'm NT or not. I like to be a little more personal with people I spend a lot of my days with. That's just my feelings.

Some people like anonymity.

I think that is the problem with life now and why people can't make any friends. Problems making friends isn't just an Aspie thing. Most NT "friendships" are what I call "fake" friendships. People use these forums and Facebook and aren't really friends that you can get close to. I can understand being anonymous for those who come here to just get info here and there to help with their Asperger's, but the ones that come here day after day and talk to the same people and are "regulars", I guess I kind of expect more like them being ok with me knowing them on a first name basis. People that I talk to call me by my first name all the time, but I'm not able to do the same so I really can't reach a point to where I see them as an important person that matters to me and that I care about. The other forum I was on that had NT's on it was the same way and I ended up not staying.

This name thing has just bothered me from the beginning. I was just voicing my thoughts is all.

yeh, i usually do give out my first name to people here who message me via PM or email, and they tend to respond with he same. i'm pretty free with giving it out to anyone by PM unless i have reason enough to suspect they'd post it publicly, on the forums, without having asked me. but that's probably rare, and i can't name anyone here whom i think would do that.

clearly not NT, but i also really like to refer to people by name, on and off the internet and it does make it easier to bond with and get to know them, i get where you're coming from. but that doesn't mean it's necessarily very difficult to do the same with someone whose name i don't know. it's just a preference.

names are some of my strongest memories.

I'd rather avoid real names. For one, I hate the name I was christened, always have. It has never felt like me. Some years ago I added another name to it, a name I still like, but it doesn't feel like me.
The only names I identify with, are my turtle related usernames and a couple of other nicknames. I am far more comfortable being called Skilpadde.
Names are important to me, and that is exactly the reason why I want to be called something that feels like me.

The second thing is privacy. I have no interest in being identified IRL, neither by anyone who knows me IRL or anyone from here identifying me IRL.
Ranging all the way from embarrassment, to wanting to be left alone and keep my crowds separated, and all the way to serious crap like stalking and other crimes.
Just because someone seems friendly now, doesn't mean it's gonna last, nor that they won't attempt to google it. I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Speaking of being anonymous, does anyone know how to take your last name off twitter? My whole name shows up for some reason.

My real name is Wolfman.

You're full of crap again, Mr. K.!

First names aren't a big deal. I value anonymity as well, but plenty of people have the same first names. Last names and/or full names are a bit more sensitive, though anyone I Skype with can see mine.

If for for some reason you'd like to know my first name, then no, I wouldn't mind telling you in a PM.

I guess when you post your first name online and then post other information about yourself eg. personal experience, problems, someone online can just pick out who you are because they happened to know you in real life. It could be from school or from work or your ex. I would call it a coincidence because what are the odds of someone lurking on the same forum you go to. I sometimes wonder if Frankie ever lurks here. That isn't his real name but it's a name I have given him for online for whenever I talk about him so I am not always referring to him as the boy or "this ODD boy I knew" and so people know I am talking about the same person, not different people. But I am sure Frankie would still pick out who I am by talking about him if he were lurking here. You don't need to put your first name online for someone to figure out your identity. If someone figures it out, chances are they knew you in real life.

Some first-names are unique enough to easily identify you if the real first name is revealed.