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TheWalrys435
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23 May 2017, 9:04 pm

Many of you might find this to be a stupid question, but if you could watch yourself being born and decide now...whether you wanted to return to your current self with all of your life experiences being exactly the same, complete with your Aspergers, or return to your current age but with a completely neuro-typical life and the different experiences that would have come with it, which would you choose?

I guess that run-on sentence is a complicated way of saying, would you rather have been born neuro-typical?
I'm not sure I would have been happy if I was an NT. But if you're aspie, then you know what I'm talking about. This life is so painful all the time. We're social animals like everyone else. I think most of us want the same human contact as NTs, we just often can't build the same connections. And that lack of social connections is what makes like so difficult because everything is based on those connections. Your friends, your family, your career, your place in your society...all of it is based on your cultural sociology. I used to enjoy some my aspie oddities like profound interests in maps, graphs, charts and the history of the geography and in the peoples who inhabit those lands, how they got there and so on.

I think part of my existential depression and current crisis is that I've turned 40 (over the hill) and I realize that there is an end game to this life. I'm very detailed and passionate about the things I like and believe in. I find most people (the NTs) to be very apathetic about the things that I love. In many areas, they seem almost completely ignorant about the world around them. They don't care about the art they absorb and such. It's like their modus operandi in life is just to have experiences with other like-minded people and enjoy themselves. When I was younger, I used to scoff at their attitudes. "Lord, what fools these mortals be"...like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory (I believe this character to be an aspie), but since turning 40 and looking back at how my life really hasn't amounted to much, I don't feel good at all anymore. Feel like the biggest joke has been me all along. It's not that I'm wrong about the topics I know about in detail. It's just that they don't matter.



nick007
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24 May 2017, 5:44 pm

I think my Aspergers is who I am. I'd much rather be born without my physical disabilities than born without my Aspergers.


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TheWalrys435
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24 May 2017, 11:01 pm

nick007 wrote:
I think my Aspergers is who I am. I'd much rather be born without my physical disabilities than born without my Aspergers.


I understand what you're saying. The aspergers is a huge part of who I am as well. But because it has caused so many difficulties in social situations, I also resent it. But I guess I could argue that is a huge part of who I am as well. But because it has caused so many difficulties in social situations, I also resent it. But I guess I could argue that my high sensitivity is equally to blame. Like, the aspergers causes the alienation that creates the hurt feelings in a heightened way. Did the chicken lay the egg or did the egg make the chicken?



Seibelin
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25 May 2017, 12:29 am

I'd be "happier" and live a calmer, longer life if I had no health problems and were "NT". And by definition, also a little more-or-less the same as everyone else.

Stress can demand that a person seek greater knowledge, become more empathetic, think more deeply, among other valuable things (depending on the person). Having a different way of looking at things can also help with problem solving.

I look at asd as primarily harm, like brain or gut damage, which is being compensated for by a strong, flexable brain.
IF something is harming us, then the up side of this is that we (at least some of us) are just the people to solve the problem.
And in evolution, we can't all be the same. We just can't.

Ultimately we all want to be healthy and happy, but that is a fairy tale.

I plan on healing myself and breaking free of some issues I've long had. If it never happens and I die lonely, at least I will have had a unique life. Millions and millions, from bugs to humans, have their own experiences ranging from horror to wonder, and they all go to the same place in the end. I try to look at the big picture. It makes this trouble seem smaller.



TheWalrys435
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25 May 2017, 6:06 pm

Seibelin wrote:
I'd be "happier" and live a calmer, longer life if I had no health problems and were "NT". And by definition, also a little more-or-less the same as everyone else.

Stress can demand that a person seek greater knowledge, become more empathetic, think more deeply, among other valuable things (depending on the person). Having a different way of looking at things can also help with problem solving.

I look at asd as primarily harm, like brain or gut damage, which is being compensated for by a strong, flexable brain.
IF something is harming us, then the up side of this is that we (at least some of us) are just the people to solve the problem.
And in evolution, we can't all be the same. We just can't.

Ultimately we all want to be healthy and happy, but that is a fairy tale.

I plan on healing myself and breaking free of some issues I've long had. If it never happens and I die lonely, at least I will have had a unique life. Millions and millions, from bugs to humans, have their own experiences ranging from horror to wonder, and they all go to the same place in the end. I try to look at the big picture. It makes this trouble seem smaller.


I think you have a good attitude Seibelin. I think I'm having a genuine crisis due to losing some friends recently, turning 40, and having a hard time starting a new career. All of this has resulted in an overload of emotions. I'd actually describe the feeling as "horrifying". I agree with you though. Asperger's does make life more difficult. And also, I think your idea about the (often) high level of intellect attributed to people with Aspergers being a natural defense mechanism is interesting.
Really, there are many ways that my life is easier in terms of how I function. So many of the stupid things that people drive themselves crazy with are of no or little importance to me. I think my biggest problem, aside from the obvious social issues, is that I've never been able to really establish myself financially. Honestly, a huge part of why that has occurred is because of my Asperger's. I couldn't make the right social connections at the jobs I've had to really build a comfort zone. So things haven't worked out for me.
Money woes are the biggest woes in our society ya know? But I think if I had a real sense of security, I'd be able to compensate better for much of my anxiety.



leejosepho
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25 May 2017, 7:18 pm

I used to think I wish I had been born a couple of centuries earlier, but then I realized there was no toilet paper back then and I cannot imagine life without toilet paper. My point: I have never known what is best for me, so I do not question or challenge the life I have.


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TheWalrys435
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25 May 2017, 7:32 pm

leejosepho wrote:
I used to think I wish I had been born a couple of centuries earlier, but then I realized there was no toilet paper back then and I cannot imagine life without toilet paper. My point: I have never known what is best for me, so I do not question or challenge the life I have.


Probably much healthier to think that way. I've just been through a series of significant down notes lately and I'm kind of distressed. So these existentialist questions arise and I'm just looking for comradery with others having the same feelings.



leejosepho
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26 May 2017, 8:10 am

TheWalrys435 wrote:
leejosepho wrote:
I used to think I wish I had been born a couple of centuries earlier, but then I realized there was no toilet paper back then and I cannot imagine life without toilet paper. My point: I have never known what is best for me, so I do not question or challenge the life I have.

Probably much healthier to think that way. I've just been through a series of significant down notes lately and I'm kind of distressed. So these existentialist questions arise and I'm just looking for camaradery with others having the same feelings.

You had mentioned "don't feel good at all anymore. Feel like the biggest joke has been me all along.", and I do occasionally have similar feelings. However, I am quite convinced those would likely still be the same even if I had not been born an Aspie...and I say that because even NTs can end up with those same kinds of feelings. Hence, I seek my validation from our Maker rather than from men.


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26 May 2017, 8:23 am

I wouldn't change myself - but if I could choose for the rest of the world to be aspie........


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26 May 2017, 9:01 am

Seibelen,

Your approach is a sensible one. My general health is good, but I do have a condition (fortunately under control with medication) that I wish I didn't have. I am fortunate that I have reasonably high intelligence and that my health is good, or my condition would be far more severe.

Walrys,

I also like the way you think. You strike a reasonable balance between the unrelentingly negative and the ridiculously positive outlook that says, "I wouldn't change myself for the world." There are definitely things I would change. I think certain aspects of my Asperger's, if I do have it, get in the way of my forward progress.



TheWalrys435
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28 May 2017, 12:03 am

IstominFan wrote:
Seibelen,

Your approach is a sensible one. My general health is good, but I do have a condition (fortunately under control with medication) that I wish I didn't have. I am fortunate that I have reasonably high intelligence and that my health is good, or my condition would be far more severe.

Walrys,

I also like the way you think. You strike a reasonable balance between the unrelentingly negative and the ridiculously positive outlook that says, "I wouldn't change myself for the world." There are definitely things I would change. I think certain aspects of my Asperger's, if I do have it, get in the way of my forward progress.


Thanks istomin. I suppose I am kind of a dedicated realist. I don't care for platitudes that mean nothing. Ya know, those kind of statements people like to make that surmise life into one nice and well meaning phrase that is utterly useless in any kind of actual application. But as bad and unfair as life can be, I really do believe in the power of positive thinking. Maybe because of how much damage negative thinking has done to me. I'm just at a point where I really want to be happy. I've been unhappy for so long, and there are legit reasons for it, but what good has being unhappy done? Just nothing. So I'm just trying to retrain my brain to be positive and not allow things to hurt me and upset me all the time.



TheWalrys435
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28 May 2017, 12:26 am

leejosepho wrote:
TheWalrys435 wrote:
leejosepho wrote:
I used to think I wish I had been born a couple of centuries earlier, but then I realized there was no toilet paper back then and I cannot imagine life without toilet paper. My point: I have never known what is best for me, so I do not question or challenge the life I have.

Probably much healthier to think that way. I've just been through a series of significant down notes lately and I'm kind of distressed. So these existentialist questions arise and I'm just looking for camaradery with others having the same feelings.

You had mentioned "don't feel good at all anymore. Feel like the biggest joke has been me all along.", and I do occasionally have similar feelings. However, I am quite convinced those would likely still be the same even if I had not been born an Aspie...and I say that because even NTs can end up with those same kinds of feelings. Hence, I seek my validation from our Maker rather than from men.


Again, I think your way of thinking is a better way of living both mentally and spiritually. At my age, I'm just finally getting to the point where I'm not valuing others opinions of me more than my own. It's a process. Maybe it's due to low self-esteem but I've always cared so much about what people think of me. And since my aspie quirks have always struck people as odd and difficult to read, people are perpetually judging a different idea of who I am. It's like my mentality was always thinking that everything would be okay as soon as I was able to be really understood by everyone. And then I'd meander through life tying to constantly explain myself.
Well, 40 is changing that I think. At this point, it's clear that the people I feel misunderstood by are never gonna catch up on who I am. If they really wanted to, they would have by now. So I'm just trying to find a new way forward. And I also agree, God is the only opinion that really matters. Personally, I believe that the shame and joy you feel about what you've done with the day are God's communication about living a good life. Guess that's what I mean about positive thinking and what not.



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28 May 2017, 12:31 am

That's hard to decide. My life would be easier if I wasnt, but then I wouldn't be myself. My experiences growing up is what shaped me into who I am today, some good, some bad.



EzraS
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28 May 2017, 7:52 am

I would choose not to be born with autism. For me it only means having severe impairments, being severely withdrawn, sensory problems and meltdown/shutdowns etc.



MickeyT2008
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28 May 2017, 8:26 pm

Yes, Asperger's is a large part of my personality and I'm quite happy being who I am. Anyway it doubtlessly sounds arrogant but it often appears to me that it's the 'normal' people who are the ones with the problem. It seems to me that the rest of the human race is hell bent on pointlessly and stupidly destroying itself whilst fighting each other over small green rectangular pieces of paper and arguing over who believes in the scariest deity. All the while leading meaningless plastic lifestyles as set out for them by the government and the media. Go to school, go to work, pay tax, get married, pay more tax, get sacked for being old, die, get taxed on whatever you had left - sorry but that's just not what I call fulfilling. Don't these people ever question why they do what they do, and who told them that's how they're supposed to live? Or is what's on telly more important than stopping to consider their situation?



leejosepho
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28 May 2017, 9:03 pm

MickeyT2008 wrote:
...it often appears to me that it's the 'normal' people who are the ones with the problem...

Don't these people ever question why they do what they do, and who told them that's how they're supposed to live? Or is what's on telly more important than stopping to consider their situation?

Yes, some people do seem to be mere sheeple mindlessly living for the moment while actually missing it, and that is definitely part of what leaves me with no complaint with my own deal in life. I have never really been part of whatever is going on, but I still have been everywhere I have ever wanted to go and I have done all I have ever wanted to do.


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I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================