how to know how ugly you are??

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I always had a lot of difficult with self-image, for a while I thought I wasn't exactly ugly just fat but a lot of other times I think I'm very ugly or I think I'm just average and I think I'll never be able to know how I look?? This annoys me so much, and I can't trust when people compliment me (which is rare).

Everyone here has issues with their looks.

We can't change how we look.

We can slim down if fat, but it's not going to change what we project if we think ourselves ugly.

We have to learn to practise a little self-love.

I always had a lot of difficult with self-image, for a while I thought I wasn't exactly ugly just fat but a lot of other times I think I'm very ugly or I think I'm just average and I think I'll never be able to know how I look?? This annoys me so much, and I can't trust when people compliment me (which is rare).

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there ain't no method to measure ugliness. at least one time, someone told me "you're ugly." more than once, someone told me that i was pretty or handsome. quite frankly, it seems, to me, hard to imagine that everyone could be physically attractive. or at least, equally physically attractive. and that is okay. if someone is pretty/handsome, then what? life goes on. if someone is ugly, then life still does go on. in the media (tv, magazines, et cetera), the society tends to portray certain types of appearances as physically attractive. women have to be skinny enough to have the percent body fat of a prepubescent boy. men have to look like Olympic gymnasts. but, in different countries, and different time eras, they have different standards of beauty. a long time ago, it was considered beautiful to be fat.

anyone that has the nerve to make comments about your appearance (ugly, pretty, handsome, et cetera), just has a big ego. he/she is way too judgmental. unless you ask. but please do not ask. b/c if you ask, you put them in the awkward position of having to stutter about how everyone is beautiful or some other cliche.

you do not have any method of knowing how you look, to other people. not even if they tell you. words such as ugly, pretty and handsome are totally subjective and vague. ambiguous.

if strangers ogle you, then strangers find you physically attractive. but then, sometimes someone might ogle you, without you noticing. if strangers treat you better than they treat other women, then they find you physically attractive. all other things being equal.

society. the united states. currently is pretty superficial. when i lived in San Diego, it was totally materialistic and superficial.

but, in my uncommon opinion, appearances do not matter. at least, not nearly as much as society acts like appearances matter. it's what's on the inside that counts. not what's on the outside.

some people are just naturally more pretty/smart/strong/social/resilient/normal, than others. that is okay. you have some sort of strengths. you just have to recognize and value them.

actually, sometimes i wonder. maybe an advantage, that precious lil "people" do not perceive me as physically attractive, is that i am in less danger or risk of getting raped, than someone else that is physically attractive. all other things being equal.

having said that. some articles claim. that people that society considers pretty/handsome, by the standards here and now. get treated better than people that society considers as ugly. allegedly, pretty women get better jobs and get treated better at work, than ugly women. and pretty women get treated better by friends/enemies/acquaintences/strangers.



"lookism". a form of discrimination.

learn to love the reflection in the mirror, warts and all. you are unique, you are made of star stuff, that should be quite enough for this otherwise mundane little world.

Omg this, I know exactly what you mean. You can look so different to yourself at different times, it's impossible to get a clear idea of how you actually look.
One can never truly see oneself, of course. Pictures and mirrors, not the same thing.

If it's a problem perceiving your body, yoga etc. definitely helps. Gives you a better understanding of your physique, how it looks and what it can do. It's that mind-body connection thing, it helps me a bit anyway.

I've seen you and you're not at all ugly. Rather lovely, in fact.

But that doesn't really help much, I know. You need to feel it from within. Other people's compliments mean very little if you can't trust them, and they sometimes make it worse.

((Hugs)) for you.

I consider every human being a fabulous creature who just looks how they look, I don't consider anybody ugly physically to be honest, a lot of people give me cause to consider the way they use their brains ugly. Anybody who feels they are the maker above and deems somebody else ugly when there is no legitimate reason to do so apart from their vicious opinion I can't seem to pour too much onto my observation of their physical complexion except magnification and warts and rotting carcass flecks... ugliness comes from within. Attraction is a different thing, we all like different degrees of ingredients, the good thing is we're all a crazy variety of freaks so there's something for everybody if stars cross and all that crap. I like how some people look enough to feel a fluttering interest but that feeling exists within each of us for a collection of other humans, we're all attractive even if sometimes we feel we look like **** and are worth even less. Some people have truly astonishing bodies, faces seemingly sculpted from a masterpiece, it's the way of the world, yet much of the world have to make do with being unspectacular, how many find love and find self-love in dealing with how they are crafted and find that they are perfect to other people all the same, there's hope even if you consider yourself ugly.

Last edited by DancingCorpse on 09 Jun 2017, 11:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.

^^^^ QFT

We're only as ugly as we think we are

there are 3 pretty girls from this site i'd feel intimidated by their beauty if i met them face to face in real life. probably i wouldn't even be able to carry on a conversation with them. 2 of them are not active posters anymore.

Look in the mirror and think if you would consider that person ugly, pretty or something in between if they weren't you but a stranger that looks alike.
That's how you know if you are ugly according to your own taste.

You cannot make yourself good looking according to the taste of everyone around you because everyone has their own taste. A person can be pretty for one, ugly for another and that's OK. Even people who fit the stereotype of "beautiful" will be ugly for some(because not everyone likes slim people in fashionable, sexy clothes - some find it unhealthy, snobbish and disgusting).

What matters the most is liking your own look, fitting the taste of the person you like and looking bearable to everyone else. Anyone can fit the last criteria, all you really need to do is being clean, having your hair brushed and wearing clean, non-wrinkled clothes.

BTW. If you dislike your body... sleep naked. I am serious. It gets you more accepting to your own body.

We're only as ugly as we think we are
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just b/c there ain't no method of measuring aesthetics, does not mean that everyone is equally attractive or even attractive.

in the media (magazines, billboards, tv, etc), it does not feature a representative sample of body types.

the women in the media are disproportionately scrawny.

the men fit certain dimensions too.

you could twiddle your thumbs, and correctly point out that, a long time ago, and in other countries, it was considered attractive to be grotesquely overweight. (fine).

but seriously.

not many people find certain physiques or appearances physically attractive.

and that is okay

Attitude matters a lot. I don't believe I'm the only one who changes his opinion of a person's physical attractiveness after getting to know them. I find some women really hideous after listening to them talk for a while, public figures whom most people consider very attractive can begin to physically repulse me.

I feel the same way when getting to know someone, male or female. They appear more physically beautiful to me, the more they appeal to my intellect, curiosity, ethics, and so on. People's faces change with the things they say. I find it shocking the first time I see someone enraged. I like seeing their super-relaxed faces, though. People I like tend to look even more beautiful in that state of mind.

The effect happens on the sexual level, as well. Some fat women can floor any sane man with sexual appeal when they turn it on. I don't know how, but it looks like they own their bodies, their sexuality. In this case, it's reference material, not p0rn.

Regarding myself, I rarely worry about it. I've had people make disparaging comments; they hurt. I try to clean up well, in any case.

I might not be the skinniest peg, but I also think I'm adorable. I could lose a few lbs, but it's coming off slowly but surely.