do you hate other people coming over to your house?

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i love you, but don't visit me. it's painfully stressful.

Yes. Absolutely hate it. My house is like a huge junkyard, but even if I could keep it fit for habitation, I wouldn't want to 'entertain' anyone here.

We don't usually get visitors, but when we do, I hide in my room if I don't know them or if I didn't know they were coming and I'm in my pyjamas or not wearing make up. That's why I like to know before they get here (so I can get ready).

I love them, but sometimes I'm glad when my sisters go home because when they (and the kids) are here, the house is too noisy and messy and after a while, I get tired and bored because I can't leave the room to do other things I want to do (my family tell me it's rude, so I feel bad if I leave for too long).

About the only person who comes over to visit regularly is my girlfriend's sister who comes over about every week or so for a couple hours & occasionally she spends the night. Occasionally my girlfriend's mom will spend the night for afew nights. I'm not bothered by my girlfriend's sister coming over unless I get woken up by her calling. I get alittle bothered by my girlfriend's mom spending a few nights because she sleeps in my room; I always sleep in my girlfriend's room but my computer & stuff is in my room. Also her mom goes to bed earlier than us.

Hate is a strong word. The thing is, I enjoy socializing on my terms. However, I'm more comfortable when the house is clean to my liking and I choose who is coming over, when, and what we're doing so I can mentally prepare. With the option that if I get overwhelmed, I'm allowed to go to another room and decompress.

Yes, and our dislike of certain intrusions into our comfort zones does not have to over-ride our attempts to deal with them in the healthiest ways possible.


Surprise knocks at the door always give me a burst of anxiety no matter what, and I get up and go outside through the carport to see who is there rather than opening the front door where people typically expect to be invited to come inside. Much of the time I am greatly relieved to see it was a delivery person who simply left something at the door and I sound a big "Thank you!" as s/he is walking back to his or her vehicle...thanks for the delivery and thanks for not needing, wanting or expecting anything more. My wife's elderly (slightly older than us) aunt is the only unexpected please-come-on-in visitor we ever get, and her visits are fine with me because she and my wife chat while I (in the same room) just keep doing whatever I am doing and occasionally adding a comment or something to be certain she knows she is not being ignored. She keeps her own home nearly-spotless and she knows this one used to be about the same before my in-laws died, but she never says anything about that or seems bothered by our clutter or a little cat hair (we have only one cat) on a chair.

Funny story: I recently tripped our security system accidentally while actually trying to disable it entirely, and that somehow set off a silent pain alarm that brought three police officers to our door. I went to the front door and waved toward the carport like I always do without thinking of the fact the officer might think I was either waving him off or ignoring or avoiding him or whatever. By the time I reached the carport, one officer had already gone through the gate into the backyard to look in through the windows and then another asked whether there was anyone else in the house. I told him my wife was here and invited him in while explaining we do not use the front door, but then when we got inside I realized another officer had already come in by passing behind me while I was talking in the carport! The three officers quickly left after realizing all was well, but it seemed to me they might have suspected I had been trying to divert them from coming inside...and yes, in fact, and even though they are always completely welcome at any time, I actually was! After all, unexpected visitors are intrusions into my comfort zone.

guys i only hate the overwhelmed feeling itself, not the ones who want to visit me lol

I'm okay with friends coming over as long as I am aware that they will be coming. I like about 24 hours notice. However, if they are friends of my mom's or sister's, I sometimes will just stay in my room for as long as they are there and only come out for food

We understood, but I added my comment because some people tend to shift that to the visitors as if they (the visitors) were also worthy of hate for having been involved in whatever had brought about the sense of threat or intrusion.

Yes. I try to avoid inviting people in when they knock on the door. The house is just too messy. I would have a total anxiety attack if they asked to use the bathroom! I need at least 2 days notice if anyone wants to come around, family, tradesmen etc so I can do housework to prepare.

I haven't had a single overnight guest come stay since I moved into my own place 6 years ago, but my brother and his brood want to stay one day - 4 guests.

Not at all. Usually family friends come to visit and that's okay with me.

Nah it doesn't really bother me. It's very rare that someone will drop by without me actually inviting them over. I don't know what it's like to have people often popping in on me.

I don't like unexpected visits, but if I can prepare it's relatively ok, as long as they don't stay overnight - organizing extra bedding, towels, food is just too much sometimes and I stop enjoying their visit at all.
I hate playing host too. I could never host a party at my place, dinner for more than one friend, no way. I'd be useless and a ball of stress after 10 minutes.
I'd rather go and visit people, bring some food and wine with me, I never over-stay and I think I'm a polite and considerate guest.

People showing up unannounced is annoying and rude.

If I know people are coming over, I look forward to the visit.