Perception of time

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My perception of time is really weird. I'll try to explain it hoping I am not the only one who sees the world this way.
Everything that happened in the past feels like it was erased, kind of.
I mean for example yesterday evening I was sitting at my desk and I had to force myself to think what I was doing throughout the day. I knew I went to work, I knew I went to the gym and had my dinner but It felt like it was ages ago not an hour earlier.
Another example, I changed my job a week ago but it feels like I have always been working here and when I realised it's been a week only I was amazed.
I went on a short trip, couple of days, and when I was travelling nothing else existed, I totally "forgot" where I actually lived, I "forgot" that 2 days earlier I had still struggled in a sh***y job.
It's like my past doesn't exist anymore, I remember but it feels like it never happened or it feels like things happened long long time ago or I was just imagining things. (I know it happened!)
Does this make any sense at all?

Sadly, yes.

Same here, kind of like the channel has been changed or the page has been refreshed and everything past has haphazardly landed in a large, open-top, out-of-sight box somewhere. Memories can be recalled, of course, but something from just an hour ago now seems to have been in the box just as long as anything else.

Yep. go out, do errands, be fully real and in the moment with them - then come home and once the door is closed, shoes are off, and I'm involved in some kind of action, it's like I never was out at all.
Sometimes a couple months ago might as well have been yesterday, might as well be today, might has well be tomorrow. Time gets all jumbled up.
Except for this moment.
This moment is always this moment.
And the intangible whatever it is that makes me, me, has little to no sense of time, and totally no sense of age; for all I know I've always been this age.

Yes, and now the timeless, ageless "me" struggles with handling the reality of dwelling in nearly-70-year-old host.

Yes, I know that too. Age doesn't make much sense to me. Meanwhile I know I am getting older, I don't feel it. For me I am me. No age. I am 20. But what does that mean at all? What I know, I could have been 20 during all these years. Inside I am still the same. Ahh I even find it difficult to talk about this.
Is this related to having AS? Or just some quirk some of us have?

The last psychiatrist I ever talked with gave me a "Personality Disorder - NOS (Not Otherwise Specified)" diagnosis after I had asked some questions related to Depersonalization and Dissociation, but she did not seem further interested in anything other than medication (experimentation and) management. I have spent a lot of time unsuccessfully trying to dig into all of this over the past several years, and today all my remaining energy is consumed by trying to successfully endure to the end of the timeline (my lifetime) I have yet to understand.

Maybe she gets frequent flyer miles or coach handbags or something for filling out surveys for the drug companies?

I think that was while I still only had Medicaid (and now maybe even having Medicare would still make no difference), so maybe my ability to pay was an issue. But either way, she definitely said something about things no longer being like they had once been so many years ago (late '70s) while I was seeing a therapist weekly.

Yes, I get what you mean, you are basically saying that it feels like a past event happened a long time ago, when in actuality it happened a few days ago.

-LegoMaster2149 (Written on September 14, 2017)

Probably not much difference. As a point of trivia, when frustrated with them I call them Mediwedontcare and Medicaintnoaid.

In my own case, everything past is just a memory with no thought of time between then and now -- no perception of time -- and not even between the various memories unless I pause-and-reflect for long enough to put one or more things in chronological order. It is like all my snapshots are scattered or shuffled in a large box or tumbler where even the newest is as likely to be at the bottom as at the top. Hence, "long ago" seldom actually comes to mind until or unless I make a conscious effort to look at the date on the back.

This is interesting because there are many "facets" of time. And some times I get stuck in different time periods of my life- and start thinking the way I did when I was that age or at that moment in time. My young adult years were the worst- full of depression and anxiety and I go "there" if I'm not careful. I some times have an "Eidetic "memory and can relive the past.

I was really young when I realize how quickly time can go. But I remember being 17 years old at Christmas time and thinking , "wow, I can't believe a whole year has come and gone"... If the older we get, the shorter time seems, it happened that way very early for me . I have had it work both ways. I some times feel that time lags . And I feel as if it moves more slowly. If you dwell too much in the past or the future, time will move more rapidly and you'll wonder where it went.

Metaphysics is interesting. God's timing is often different than ours. In Godly time, things are not what they seem here. We use time as linear way of marking things as we go. But God doesn't work that way. That is why I try to look at time the way that God uses time.. Which often isn't linear. There may be several planes of time running together at once. You can look at it anyway you wish.

It's the opposite for me. Many events which happened decades ago, even in the 70s and 80s, still seem 'recent'.




The first time that phenomenon struck me was my last year at primary school, aged 10. It seemed to pass two or three times as quickly as any previous year had.