T.E.O.F.W. - Don't make me say it! (& OCD fuelled angst)

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"The end of the world"

This is going to be a difficult to post to write, and it's going to be equally as tough to read replies (that's if anyone does).

I know that we all face the same dangers everyday, but I keep thinking, "Why does it have to happen in my lifetime?! We've got this far, why now?!"

I've also come to a point where I'm convinced that we've been here before, and the reason why I'm so scared of the end of the world, is because I've lived this life and have been through it before. Although now, somehow, my logic and reasoning is making me question it.

For once, I'm looking forward to Christmas, but I'm convinced that we won't get there.

My Mum, tries to convince me that nothing bad will happen, but it's not helping anymore.
I can even remember reading a blog where a lady had these thoughts of doom after she watched a documentary which had a 3D dramatisation of the Earth being struck by and Asteriod. She learnt in therapy that the media keep pushing this stuff because, apparently, we're "overdue for something catastrophic to happen".

I know that there are other people out there who have the same thoughts. But mine just feel more intense and convincing.

The intrusive thoughts and anxiety is crippling. I'm scared of noises that helicopters and planes make when they fly over-head. I can't even look out the window at night (especially when the moon is "out").

On TV, for the whole of November, I've heard either of these terms, "The end of the World", "armageddon", "apocalypse" - Oh and "Trump" and "North Korea". It's like I'm not allowed to block it out.

It's not just the intrusive thoughts, there's the OCD too. I'd spend over an hour in the bathroom wiping the basin/sink and taps in a certain way just to "stop bad things from happening". My Mum is helping me out now, but I can tell that it's just p***ing her off. She's a brilliant lady, but her patience isn't eternal/endless. A few weeks ago, I was sleeping in her room, just so I would cut down on the OCD. But I've had to return to my own room because I snore (plus our house is so small that we live on top of each other anyway - not literally).
I have no healthcare professional to speak to. I phoned an Anxiety helpline a few weeks ago, and was told that I couldn't get any decent help for my OCD because of where I live in the UK (only 2% of people who are qualified in the region would know how to deal with my OCD through CBT).

I have had CBT before, earlier this year. I went to all of the appointments, but instead of talking about what this thread is about, we ended talking about how bad things were at home, at that time.
Another session of CBT was about the loss of our cat and another was for... Well, I don't remember, but that too ended up being about life at home.

Feeling like this, having the OCD, and intrusive thoughts is really fueling my depression. So much so that I do feel suicidal (which is pretty ironic).

It's all really affecting starting to affect all areas of my life. I've lost interest in my 3D work. I was hoping to start making money out of it, but with the way that I feel, it's just not possible. It's also affecting my gaming hobby. I just can't concentrate. I don't even play any video games that include zombies (The Last of Us, Resident Evil etc). They just scare the heck out of me. I can't watch zombie movies either.

If I look around the net to try and make sense of any of my fears, another fear gets fuelled, and makes me feel just as bad (if not worse).
Plus, I am starting to get p***ed off with the internet. If there's something that I don't like on FB (Trending especially), then I spend hours thinking about it, although I try not to.

Revelations scares the heck out of me too. It doesn't help when my Asperger's tries to draw patterns between what's happening in the world, and what is supposed to happen in that book.

Anyway, it's something that I've been holding onto for a longtime, and it's helped a little just posting about it.
I'm not nuts. But all of this OCD and these intrusive thoughts makes me feel like I am.

Thanks for reading.

Well, of course the societal situation just keeps getting worse. That's just to be expected. But yes, as we all know, it has just recently gotten a lot worse, and closer to really big trouble.

Some consoling facts about that:

This world is just a world. One possibility-world among infinitely-many.

This life that we're in now seems like everything, because of course it's all that we remember, and it's been there for as far back as we can remember. So of course it seems as if it's always been there.

I definitely don't recommend suicide. In fact I recommend against it, in the strongest terms. I want to clarify that, so that what I'm going to say won't sound like suicide-encouragement.

When this lifetime ends, then, according to the various theories, there will be either peaceful, quiet and restful sleep, or Heaven or Hell (depending on what we merit), or reincarnation.

Two points about that:

1. With the exception of Hell (for someone who has behaved heinously enough to merit it), all of the above-listed theories aren't bad. They're all good.

Peaceful, quiet and restful sleep can only be described as good.

Heaven too.

Reincarnation? Well, on the average, the next life won't be worse than this one (unless bad-behavior toward others comes back to roost). There are always risks in a life, but, with reincarnation, they'd average out, and a person would have a chance to do better than they did before.

So, as I said, all the theories about what happens at the end of a life are good.

2. This life, and therefore this world, and all of its risks, menaces and problems.....is temporary. That's a tremendous reassurance. Whatever happens with this hopelessly messed-up world (I call it "The Land of the Lost"), it's only temporary, because you're only in it temporarily. So then, enjoy it while it lasts, with the knowledge that this life and this world aren't all there is--There's better. That makes for a lightness in this life.



Quite possibly--here or somewhere similar.



Why be scared of the end of this world, when this is only one world out of of infinitely-many possibility-worlds...and when you know that it's temporary anyway. At the natural end of your life this world ends for you anyway. It happens at the end of each person's life.

In any case, the end of this world isn't going to happen soon. The chance of an asteroid-hit during your lifetime is vanishingly unlikely. Besides, technology has reached the point where the asteroid and its collision or near-collision orbit would probably detected well in advance, and it could be deflected from hitting us. Even a little bit of impulse applied to the asteroid when it's still far away could deflect it from hitting us.

Don't worry about the end of the world. That isn't going to happen during your lifetime.



Logic can tell you that the world isn't going to end. But, when your impressions contradict logic, or what you've been taught, very likely your impressions are right, and conclusions from logic or what you've been taught are wrong.

Well, if your impressions are good, they're probably right. If an impression is bad, it's probably wrong.



She's right.



There's no "overdue" for an asteroid hit. It's just vanishingly unlikely in your lifetime, and it can probably be detected and deflected.



Don't deny yourself the beauty of the environment, including at night-time.



If that war happened, it wouldn't directly affect England or Australia. It would devastate the immediate region in that part of Asia. Economically bad for Asia, and maybe indirectly the rest of the world. The fallout would be very bad news for Asia, and maybe for our own West-Coast here. But much less so for England or Australia.

But it's unlikely to happen, because Congress is already talking about taking the authority to start that war away from the person who could start it. In any case, the cost would be so high, internationally-politically, and economically, that it's very unlikely to happen anyway. The people who run things behind the scenes probably don't want that to happen, and wouldn't let it happen.

So don't worry about that.



Suicide would be a big mistake. First of all, there's no such thing as "oblivion". We never reach oblivion. We never experience a time when we don't experience. We never experience the time when our body has completely shut down. Only our survivors experience that time. Subjectively, our life doesn't end. How can it, when we never experience a time when we don't experience?

...and if you commit suicide, your experience will be bad.

You'll know that you put yourself through a difficult, stressful, and uncomfortable ordeal (the suicide), to gain...what? Nothing? Because of that, even in unconsciousness at the end of life, there will likely remain a nightmare realization that something really bad has happened, and that it was your doing.

Don't make that mistake.

Must quit now, at least for the time-being. If there's more to add, I'll do so tomorrow morning.

Let me know if there are any questions or comments. Feel free to PM your questions or comments, or post them.

Most importantly, always say something if things start getting bad.

Michael829