Poll - Would you turn a friend into their PO if ....?

Post Reply New Topic

Hi,

So, very long story, but an old friend who I've known since she was about 13 is very, very bipolar (untreated), and has developed a significant drug problem (coke, heroin and prescription painkillers), that eventually led to her robbing a pharmacy and getting busted.

I helped her get out of a prison sentence (legal assistance), she got 4 years probation. Within a couple months of getting very lucky and not going to prison, she OD'ed (heroin) and almost died.

I am literally the only person in her life who actually cares about her. Her dad OD'ed and died a couple years back, her mom is a mentally ill horder, she's got no other family who she interacts with, and the rest of her friends are basically just sh***y people (heavy drug users and s**t)...

I know she is using again, and I am about 99.9% sure she'll be dead within a year, probably less at the rate she's going... She really is a timebomb with no chance of helping herself, and there is no one else in her life that will step in to help in any way....


Which leaves me, her only old friend, only "good" person who has not rejected her for her screwing them (she has a bad tendency to blow up relationships/friendships because of her out of control bipolar).


I've done everything I can to try to get her to help herself but at this point she is just too sick to seek help on her own. Even if it's handed to her.


Normally, if someone wants to destroy themselves, I mind my own business. I'm very much a mind my own business kinda guy. However with her, knowing no one else is going to help her, knowing she's in a very obvious death spiral, and knowing it's someone I care about, I'm considering calling her PO and explaining how sick she really is.


Her PO has no idea how severe her bipolar is and how it's really the cause of her drug problem (long story), and I'm sure her PO doesn't know she's using again... I feel like informing her PO is the only way to help her, that her getting thrown into forced treatment, or sitting in jail for long enough to sober up properly is really the only way to save her life.

She does have a court mandated psychologist but they aren't talking about the real source of her problems, just the depression the consequences cause... She's misleading them (long story) because she doesn't want to deal with her real issues,I think she also wants to make it sound like she doesn't have "that bad" of issues, so she can get off probation sooner... You know, the healthier you sound the more likely your PO will let you off early or whatever..

Anyway, I'm really not trying to sound dramatic, she really is going to die in the near future if someone doesn't step in and slap her with the reality stick.

So... What would you do? Call her PO, try to force her to wake up? Probably make her hate me... Which is ok I guess, I can't be her friend any more if she can't get her s**t under control, she manipulates everyone around her, ends up hurting everyone in contact with her... At this point I'm walking away from her anyway, unless she gets some help and my old friend comes back.

Or just leave her to her own... Just stand back, let her do her thing and start setting aside funeral money??

Just hate feeling like narc, but what other choice is there really, ya know? If they are going to die anyway is there anything to lose? Crossing some kind of BS line?

Curious what ya'll think...

Thanks!

I'm not sure how you'd go about finding the officer but you should definitely do something. For what it's worth you can explain to her about natural & synthetic alternatives to these things; iboga, kratom, cannabis & Suboxone.

I have a number of friends who have recovered from these things & some who still struggle. I know one guy who just went to rehab for opiates & upon finishing there I heard he's never been better. I think if you can contact the PO buyout should rigidly suggest it's about getting your friend help & not further punishment.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Yeah, I already have all of her PO's contact information

Like you suggested, I was intending on explaining it's all about trying to help her/save her from herself. I don't want her to goto jail, I want her to get forced into treatment, or at minimum make her court appointed psychologist fully aware of how deep her problems really are.

It's definitely about helping her not hurting, that will be clear. I think if she's forced to see and resolve certain things she could probably get herself under control, but she's very clearly not on that path at the moment.. :/

My 1st girlfriend had problems with drugs & alcohol but was trying to stay clean when we got together. She slipped back into old habits & I tried to get her to stay clean but failed miserably. Shortly after we broke up(breaking up was partly cuz of this, partly because of me being screwed up cuz of my BAD anxiety & OCD worrying about her, & partly for other reasons) she was bragging online about how she drank so much she had to get her stomach pumped. That was the last I heard of her. She was 15 when we were together so her mom may of gotten her to straighten up. Anyways... I'm not sure if you should try helping your friend or not. There's only so much you can do as her friend & it's like you said about your only option being to contact her PO. I'm not sure contacting him/her would do any real good because people can only really be helped if they are willing to help themselves. It's like the saying "You can lead a jack@ss to water but you cant make him drink". About the only way your friend can be helped is if she decides she wants a change after her bipolar disorder is under control & the bad drugs are out of her system. This said, if Emily was as bad as your friend is, I would of ratted her out knowing it'll be the end of our relationship because I loved & still love her.