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jon85
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29 Jun 2018, 7:37 am

There's so much wrong with it and it feels suffocating to have to share this big rock with idiots.

I just don't understand why some people have to be the way they are.

And the more i think about it, the more I interact with people... the more I struggle to relate to this arrogant and selfish species.


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jon85
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29 Jun 2018, 7:41 am

I just want to scream at the world.

Just want to throw everything this world expects me to do/comply to away, just get rid of it and go in a completely different direction. Make my own life, do things my way.

I think i might be turning into an anarchist :|


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kraftiekortie
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29 Jun 2018, 7:50 am

But then....there's so much RIGHT about it, too. Especially if you're fortunate enough to experience the "right." You have access to the "right" in northern England.

I would say it depends upon your personal experience with it.

When you took a picture of that beetle, didn't you think the world was "right" at that point?



jon85
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29 Jun 2018, 8:08 am

I'm fed up. I keep saying 'fed up' all the time and I'm fed up of saying that I'm fed up...

I'm tired, Kraftie. I'm tired of all the crap that fills my head, tired of the struggle to try and find an outlet for it that works.

I'm tired of seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, only to realise i'm chasing to catch up with a high speed train.

It never ends.


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kraftiekortie
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29 Jun 2018, 8:12 am

You feel sort of a sense of futility at this point. It's a sucky thing, really.

Sometimes, I feel that way, too. I feel as if it's all gray--and there's no color--even though you can see the color right before your eyes.

The only thing one can do when this mood hits----is to indulge in something which suits your fancy, and doesn't hurt others.



kraftiekortie
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29 Jun 2018, 8:20 am

One day, I felt depressed.

I walked into this bar, and heard Tina Turner singing "What's Love Got to Do With It?" Then I went over to a pool (billiards) table, and just started playing pool. I'm not good at it---but I didn't care. Just the act of cracking the balls did me good. And listening to that song.

I just soaked up the atmosphere. The mood left me soon after. I went back into the street feeling a sense of transcendence and euphoria. If Tina Turner could ditch Ike, all hope is not lost.



jon85
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29 Jun 2018, 8:23 am

you know what id really like?

Some kind of retreat with minimal human interaction, responsibility free. To just be away from everything that is expected of me, away from the rules of society. Even if it's just for a week.


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kraftiekortie
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29 Jun 2018, 8:25 am

Yep....I feel that way sometimes, too.

I guess those "holiday retreat" places in the UK don't allow this sort of thing....they seem to encourage social sorts of things for their guests.

Are there cabins in places like the Pennines?



jon85
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29 Jun 2018, 8:38 am

A cabin in the highlands of Scotland would be even better. Very isolated up that way. Much colder too.

But i cant afford a holiday, and it's an expensive place to get to, especially when you don't drive.


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kraftiekortie
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29 Jun 2018, 8:42 am

I guess you can take one of those cheap buses to Inverness or something......but then you have to get to the cabins.

I see what you mean....logistics and money.

Do you feel it's a possibility that you can learn to drive?



jon85
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29 Jun 2018, 9:03 am

I have zero confidence in learning to drive. I just know my attention span wont allow it and I'm scared that I would just be a danger to everyone. My bf constantly reminds me that i shouldn't drive (in a light hearted way ofc) but my therapist also agrees that i shouldn't learn to drive.

It would be nice, but i don't trust myself.


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LoneLoyalWolf
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29 Jun 2018, 1:46 pm

A misanthrope is born! Welcome!


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29 Jun 2018, 2:07 pm

jon85 wrote:
There's so much wrong with it and it feels suffocating to have to share this big rock with idiots.

I just don't understand why some people have to be the way they are.

And the more i think about it, the more I interact with people... the more I struggle to relate to this arrogant and selfish species.


I'll be honest. It can be an easy world to hate If you are a dove who has to contend with too many hawks or you just feel like you are less than compatible with the environment you live in. Most people are doves or somewhere in between doves and hawks depending on the situation but some people are hawks and they can make things miserable for everyone else.

A word of warning though. The world and it's people are not as horrible as the internet makes it out to be. The algorithims that bring you focused content have a tendency to create filter bubbles and echo boxes which amplify whatever it is you have been clicking on and while this will sound conspiracy theorist, comment sections are often filled with comments from professional trolls who work for foreign troll farms and get paid to seed discontent, poor morale, and disharmony among the citizens of competitor countries. You can look this up.

Our species is not the all loving, cooperative, benign species I would like humans to be but most people are fairly so and just live their every day lives in a discrete manner and most jerks get punished for their behavior at some point or suffer the consequences of their actions.