Joke Thread!

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Joined: 5 Jan 2010
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02 Dec 2018, 11:55 am

A little boy asks his mother, "Mommy, what's a vampire?"
The mother says, "I don't know. Now drink your soup before it clots."

DeepHour
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02 Dec 2018, 4:54 pm

My father used to describe himself as a 'small businessman', but in fact he was 6' 1".

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On a mountain range
I'm Doctor Strange

Joe90
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15 Dec 2018, 9:14 pm

Which Christmas song should be played on the Jeremy Kyle Show?

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth...

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SaveFerris
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15 Dec 2018, 9:16 pm

^ or The Ramones , Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)

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R Tape loading error, 0:1

Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard

Joe90
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21 Jan 2019, 12:42 pm

There's an event going on in town, go if you got nothing on.
So I went to the event naked.

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lostonearth35
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21 Jan 2019, 10:45 pm

Hickory, dickory, dock,
Three mice ran up a clock,
The clock struck one,
And the other two escaped with minor injuries.

Joe90
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29 May 2019, 11:07 am

My grandma's a teenager.
That's impossible. How old is she?
113.

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Redxk
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29 May 2019, 11:27 am

What did the hat say to the hatrack?
Answer: "You stay here. I'll go on ahead."

IstominFan
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29 May 2019, 5:00 pm

Why are pets so relaxing?

Because they are the paws that refresh us.

SaveFerris
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29 May 2019, 5:17 pm

IstominFan wrote:

Why are pets so relaxing?

Because they are the paws that refresh us.

But I have a pet snake

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Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard

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