Alone

Post Reply New Topic

Are any (many?) of us single, with no hope of attracting a mate? How does that make you feel about the future? About getting up tomorrow?

I had a hard time "getting it together" because of my issues. I was usually able to attract a mate, but looking back it is laughably obvious that the ladies were on the Spectrum as well. Those relationships were always a struggle as I tried to balance my impulsivity and devotion to rather weird special interests with caring about and appreciating another human being. Young guys often fall short with reciprocating love, and I was no exception.

Now here I am, past fifty, alone single and childless. My family was never something I could rely on, and so I find myself free to pursue my special interests all day, but by myself. Most days I am ok with it, but other times it hits me that I may die like this, that all I have to look forward to is years or even decades of this isolation.

Can anybody else relate to my situation, or am I the "Biggest Loser"?

No, I'm basically in that boat. Even when I've been with people they've often been more of a special interest or a goal so it's hard to say if we were actually 'together' except for when we were physically together. I'm not sure if it's worth the effort although I do appreciate the attention and companionship.

On paper my prospects are probably pretty poor but I don't really mind. . My previous partners have all been way intense, so if it does happen again I hope it's not more of the same.

Like many Aspies, I feel young at heart, even frisky. But when I look in the mirror, I see gray hairs coming in and pounds being packed securely about my waist. I feel like it took me forever to "grow up", that I missed opportunities along the way, but now that I am emotionally mature enough to actually handle a relationship, my chances for one are zilch.

Some days, it really sucks to feel that you have affection and care to give that may end up lavished on a lucky cat

Often I wonder whether what people call 'settling' is where lasting love and appreciation begin. Seems so looking at all the lasting and harmonious marriages in families esp of the older generation (now in their 70s/80s)

But that requires mutual sincerity and reciprocity--a tricky thing even for non Aspergers ppl, no doubt.
Also I think a need for variety is built in with men even if they don't realize it

Often I wonder whether what people call 'settling' is where lasting love and appreciation begin. Seems so looking at all the lasting and harmonious marriages in families esp of the older generation (now in their 70s/80s)

Interesting thought. My parents were married for over 50 years. I think they despised each other. They were immigrants from cultures that, frankly, don't believe in divorce. Watching them saw away at each other's esteem every day was painful.