In your opinion, does your spouse need to help financially?

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In your opinion, does your spouse need to help financially?
Yes, equally. If our rent for example is 1000$, each of us pay 500$ equally. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Yes, but it doesnt have to be equal to me. I can pay 700$ and he/she only pays 300$, for example. 33%  33%  [ 2 ]
Yes, but he/she doesnt have to pay every time. If one time he/she couldnt pay, I would forgive him/her. 17%  17%  [ 1 ]
No. My spouse may not pay for anything, and I'm okay with that. 50%  50%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 6

Noam2353
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12 Aug 2019, 10:05 pm

Well, when you're married or atleast in a serious relationship and living together. Would you expect your spouse to help out on paying for bills, rent, food, etc.? Or would you be okay with it if you were the only one paying for everything, just because you love them?
Personally, I'd never want to live with a woman who doesnt want to pay or even go to work. I wouldnt mind paying more than she does, like, lets say our rent is 1000$ a month, and I pay 700$ and she only pays 300$. I wouldnt mind if its not equally shared in payment, but I would expect her to help atleast a little bit.


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13 Aug 2019, 1:28 am

We share a bank account so it's both our money.

And in my opinion, it's not always equal if someone makes a lower wage than the other. Let's say someone makes $60,000 a year and his partner only makes $35,000. She shouldn't have to pay half the rent and she should only pay maybe 1/4 of it while the man pays most of it because of his higher wage or else she will be paycheck to paycheck and be poor and have no money and wouldn't be able to pay for everything or she has no money to do fun stuff and her partner wonder's why she never wants to go anywhere. She doesn't have any money. If the partner wants her to pay half of everything, move into a cheaper place she can afford with the half of rent. If he doesn't want to do it, he can pay most the rent.


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15 Aug 2019, 1:46 am

League_Girl wrote:
And in my opinion, it's not always equal if someone makes a lower wage than the other. Let's say someone makes $60,000 a year and his partner only makes $35,000. She shouldn't have to pay half the rent and she should only pay maybe 1/4 of it while the man pays most of it because of his higher wage or else she will be paycheck to paycheck and be poor and have no money and wouldn't be able to pay for everything or she has no money to do fun stuff and her partner wonder's why she never wants to go anywhere. She doesn't have any money. If the partner wants her to pay half of everything, move into a cheaper place she can afford with the half of rent. If he doesn't want to do it, he can pay most the rent.
Different people contribute different things to relationships & different people have different wants & needs. For example some women are housewives who take care the housework & child care/raising while their husbands go to work but the sexes can be reversed as well & there can be same sex couples where one partner works while the other is a housewife/househusband. It would be unfair for a housewife or househusband to be forced to get a full time job on top of doing most of the housework & child care when their partner makes more than enough money to take care of the whole family. Also some people have various disabilities or other issues that can make it very hard for them to find gainful employment. It would be unfair for their partner who makes a lot of money to force the disabled to work two full time jobs on top of having to do half the housework so the disabled can contribute equally to the big house that the rich partner wants to live in. I'm disabled & when I was working the best I could do was minimum wage type jobs where I couldn't make enough money to be fully independent. Most all women refused to give me half a chance at least partly cuz of the fact I was disabled. I did have a little income thou & I was very willing to help out in other ways like washing dishes, vacuuming & moping, doing laundry, & being emotionally supportive but most women saw me as a loser.


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15 Aug 2019, 2:03 am

It all goes into one pot... it all comes out of one pot.
I know of couples who jealously guard their own pots... doesn't seem to be the basis of a good relationship to me.


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15 Aug 2019, 6:19 am

Trueno wrote:
It all goes into one pot... it all comes out of one pot.
I know of couples who jealously guard their own pots... doesn't seem to be the basis of a good relationship to me.


This. I never kept score, but I was always adamant about having a partner that would pull their own weight.


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15 Aug 2019, 2:02 pm

As a man, I'm totally okay with paying for more or less everything. I don't understand those on this site who criticise women for being "hypergamous". I totally agree that it's the duty of a husband to look after his wife financially - at least, if that's what she wants.

That said, if a wealthy, classy, well-dressed older woman wanted to take me under her wing............ :wink:



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15 Aug 2019, 2:17 pm

^
I've caught a lot of flak in my youth for wanting a woman with a career. The thing is - I married late and could afford providing for a family and didn't mind, but in my generation, it was really hard to find independent women with intellectual velleities that wanted to be what was back then called a house-wife. I needed an intellectual equal and someone who stimulated me and also, being the catastrophist that I was back then, someone who wouldn't need to rely on another man in case something happened to me.

I stuck to my guns and it was the best decision I've ever made, my wife was more than an equal partner: she opened doors for me and had the civilising influence only a sophisticated woman can have! :lol:


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Prometheus18
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15 Aug 2019, 2:38 pm

BenderRodriguez wrote:
^
I've caught a lot of flak in my youth for wanting a woman with a career. The thing is - I married late and could afford providing for a family and didn't mind, but in my generation, it was really hard to find independent women with intellectual velleities that wanted to be what was back then called a house-wife. I needed an intellectual equal and someone who stimulated me and also, being the catastrophist that I was back then, someone who wouldn't need to rely on another man in case something happened to me.

I stuck to my guns and it was the best decision I've ever made, my wife was more than an equal partner: she opened doors for me and had the civilising influence only a sophisticated woman can have! :lol:


I would prefer a housewife, but quite ironically, this is one thing that isn't on my extensive list of "deal breakers".

Every time I go in Harrods or Fortnum & Mason, however, I do dream that I'll bump into a wealthy, foreign woman who'll fly me to New York or Paris and allow me to marry her. :lol:

But the (ill-fated) list of deal-breakers would still apply.



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15 Aug 2019, 2:44 pm

^
Maybe start wearing a nice orchid on your buttonhole? :wink:


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15 Aug 2019, 2:54 pm

To be honest, if one is married why do you live as two single people? Have you not heard of a joint bank account? Seperate accounts... It seems odd. How does it work? Just saying... Maybe I don't understand how things work elsewhere. Here in Wales a joint bank account for a married couple is tradition.


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BenderRodriguez
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15 Aug 2019, 2:58 pm

Trueno wrote:
It all goes into one pot... it all comes out of one pot.


I'll quote this again, it's a winner :)


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15 Aug 2019, 3:01 pm

I've been double-quoted... woohoo!
Cheers, bender.


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BenderRodriguez
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15 Aug 2019, 3:11 pm

You've earned it :cheers:


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15 Aug 2019, 3:16 pm

Prometheus18 wrote:
BenderRodriguez wrote:
^
I've caught a lot of flak in my youth for wanting a woman with a career. The thing is - I married late and could afford providing for a family and didn't mind, but in my generation, it was really hard to find independent women with intellectual velleities that wanted to be what was back then called a house-wife. I needed an intellectual equal and someone who stimulated me and also, being the catastrophist that I was back then, someone who wouldn't need to rely on another man in case something happened to me.

I stuck to my guns and it was the best decision I've ever made, my wife was more than an equal partner: she opened doors for me and had the civilising influence only a sophisticated woman can have! :lol:


I would prefer a housewife, but quite ironically, this is one thing that isn't on my extensive list of "deal breakers".

Every time I go in Harrods or Fortnum & Mason, however, I do dream that I'll bump into a wealthy, foreign woman who'll fly me to New York or Paris and allow me to marry her. :lol:

But the (ill-fated) list of deal-breakers would still apply.



How comes you go into those places?


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15 Aug 2019, 3:20 pm

smudge wrote:
Prometheus18 wrote:
BenderRodriguez wrote:
^
I've caught a lot of flak in my youth for wanting a woman with a career. The thing is - I married late and could afford providing for a family and didn't mind, but in my generation, it was really hard to find independent women with intellectual velleities that wanted to be what was back then called a house-wife. I needed an intellectual equal and someone who stimulated me and also, being the catastrophist that I was back then, someone who wouldn't need to rely on another man in case something happened to me.

I stuck to my guns and it was the best decision I've ever made, my wife was more than an equal partner: she opened doors for me and had the civilising influence only a sophisticated woman can have! :lol:


I would prefer a housewife, but quite ironically, this is one thing that isn't on my extensive list of "deal breakers".

Every time I go in Harrods or Fortnum & Mason, however, I do dream that I'll bump into a wealthy, foreign woman who'll fly me to New York or Paris and allow me to marry her. :lol:

But the (ill-fated) list of deal-breakers would still apply.



How comes you go into those places?

Mainly for groceries, but sometimes for clothes and accessories. I also occasionally buy wine and cigars from Harrods.



AlanMooresBeard
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15 Aug 2019, 3:54 pm

Prometheus18 wrote:
smudge wrote:
Prometheus18 wrote:
BenderRodriguez wrote:
^
I've caught a lot of flak in my youth for wanting a woman with a career. The thing is - I married late and could afford providing for a family and didn't mind, but in my generation, it was really hard to find independent women with intellectual velleities that wanted to be what was back then called a house-wife. I needed an intellectual equal and someone who stimulated me and also, being the catastrophist that I was back then, someone who wouldn't need to rely on another man in case something happened to me.

I stuck to my guns and it was the best decision I've ever made, my wife was more than an equal partner: she opened doors for me and had the civilising influence only a sophisticated woman can have! :lol:


I would prefer a housewife, but quite ironically, this is one thing that isn't on my extensive list of "deal breakers".

Every time I go in Harrods or Fortnum & Mason, however, I do dream that I'll bump into a wealthy, foreign woman who'll fly me to New York or Paris and allow me to marry her. :lol:

But the (ill-fated) list of deal-breakers would still apply.



How comes you go into those places?

Mainly for groceries, but sometimes for clothes and accessories. I also occasionally buy wine and cigars from Harrods.


Sounds like you’re doing alright for yourself! I’m more of a John Lewis/Waitrose man myself. I do like popping into Harvey Nichols on occasion though for their food hall.