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Does this not mean that she should like me?

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Jamesy
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22 Dec 2019, 2:08 pm

There’s this girl I know who is good friends with my brother.


However she is quite rude too me and blanks me out a lot when I see her around. She knows I have autism/mental health problems. My brother unlike me is a hard worker whereas as I on the other hand don’t work and she knows that as well.


Am I right in thinking because she is good friends with my brother that should mean that she should be nice and friendly too me? Honestly she really could not give a s**t about me.



uncommondenominator
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22 Dec 2019, 2:49 pm

That's not how that works. Her friendship with your brother is between her and your brother. To expect her to pay attention to you because she's friends with your brother is a bit unreasonable. If she doesn't want to interact with you, she doesn't have to. You may not like it, but it's not unreasonable or unfair.



Jamesy
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22 Dec 2019, 3:34 pm

uncommondenominator wrote:
That's not how that works. Her friendship with your brother is between her and your brother. To expect her to pay attention to you because she's friends with your brother is a bit unreasonable. If she doesn't want to interact with you, she doesn't have to. You may not like it, but it's not unreasonable or unfair.





i wonder though why people dont want too interact with certain people?



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22 Dec 2019, 4:58 pm

Well, I think it's a bit rude of her to just blank you out like that, being so she's good friends with your brother. I mean, if you were friends with her but didn't speak to her brother or sister at all, would that be rude on your part?


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Jamesy
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22 Dec 2019, 5:20 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Well, I think it's a bit rude of her to just blank you out like that, being so she's good friends with your brother. I mean, if you were friends with her but didn't speak to her brother or sister at all, would that be rude on your part?






She knows I don’t have a job maybe that why she doesn’t like me?



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22 Dec 2019, 6:21 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Well, I think it's a bit rude of her to just blank you out like that, being so she's good friends with your brother. I mean, if you were friends with her but didn't speak to her brother or sister at all, would that be rude on your part?






She knows I don’t have a job maybe that why she doesn’t like me?


She sounds snobby and judgemental.


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Jamesy
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22 Dec 2019, 7:27 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Well, I think it's a bit rude of her to just blank you out like that, being so she's good friends with your brother. I mean, if you were friends with her but didn't speak to her brother or sister at all, would that be rude on your part?






She knows I don’t have a job maybe that why she doesn’t like me?


She sounds snobby and judgemental.






Yes I would agree with you 100 percent



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22 Dec 2019, 11:05 pm

There's no reason for her to be friends with you if she doesn't want to, regardless of the reason. However, if you're polite to her when you two happen to run in to each other, then she's obligated to be polite as well. Being polite doesn't necessarily include starting small talk with you, but it's stuff like saying hi back if you say hi first. Of course, if you're rude to her then it's fine for her to return the favor.



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23 Dec 2019, 9:07 am

Jamesy wrote:
... Am I right in thinking because she is good friends with my brother that should mean that she should be nice and friendly too me? ...
No. There is no reason why anyone should like anyone else, even if they could.  Her reasons don't matter.  She doesn't like you, and that's all there is to it.   Accept the situation, get on with your own life, and stop obsessing over your brother's girlfriend and what other people think of you.


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Jamesy
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23 Dec 2019, 10:40 am

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
... Am I right in thinking because she is good friends with my brother that should mean that she should be nice and friendly too me? ...
No. There is no reason why anyone should like anyone else, even if they could.  Her reasons don't matter.  She doesn't like you, and that's all there is to it.   Accept the situation, get on with your own life, and stop obsessing over your brother's girlfriend and what other people think of you.






I disagree with you actually if she’s good friends with my brother she should at least be civil towards me.



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23 Dec 2019, 10:42 am

Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
... Am I right in thinking because she is good friends with my brother that should mean that she should be nice and friendly too me? ...
No. There is no reason why anyone should like anyone else, even if they could.  Her reasons don't matter.  She doesn't like you, and that's all there is to it.   Accept the situation, get on with your own life, and stop obsessing over your brother's girlfriend and what other people think of you.
I disagree with you actually if she’s good friends with my brother she should at least be civil towards me.
Why?


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Jamesy
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23 Dec 2019, 10:49 am

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
... Am I right in thinking because she is good friends with my brother that should mean that she should be nice and friendly too me? ...
No. There is no reason why anyone should like anyone else, even if they could.  Her reasons don't matter.  She doesn't like you, and that's all there is to it.   Accept the situation, get on with your own life, and stop obsessing over your brother's girlfriend and what other people think of you.
I disagree with you actually if she’s good friends with my brother she should at least be civil towards me.
Why?





Because she’s friends with my brother. She would also be jeapardising her friendship with my brother by being rude too me.



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23 Dec 2019, 10:59 am

Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
... Am I right in thinking because she is good friends with my brother that should mean that she should be nice and friendly too me? ...
No. There is no reason why anyone should like anyone else, even if they could.  Her reasons don't matter.  She doesn't like you, and that's all there is to it.   Accept the situation, get on with your own life, and stop obsessing over your brother's girlfriend and what other people think of you.
I disagree with you actually if she’s good friends with my brother she should at least be civil towards me.
Why?
Because she’s friends with my brother.
Maybe that's what you want, but she is under no such obligation.
Jamesy wrote:
She would also be jeopardizing her friendship with my brother by being rude too me.
So?  Who is likely to provide more comfort and pleasure to your brother, you or her?  I think what may be happening here is that you want her to pay more attention to you than she does to your brother -- a little jealousy on your part, perhaps?  Why not find a girlfriend of your own and forget about your brother's girlfriend; obviously, she does not care about you and she is not likely to change as long as she has your brother's attention.


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23 Dec 2019, 11:03 am

Not all personalities jive well together. Some people could be friends with our family members but that doesn’t mean that they’ll necessarily be friends with us or even like us. Everyone is different.


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Jamesy
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23 Dec 2019, 11:31 am

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
... Am I right in thinking because she is good friends with my brother that should mean that she should be nice and friendly too me? ...
No. There is no reason why anyone should like anyone else, even if they could.  Her reasons don't matter.  She doesn't like you, and that's all there is to it.   Accept the situation, get on with your own life, and stop obsessing over your brother's girlfriend and what other people think of you.
I disagree with you actually if she’s good friends with my brother she should at least be civil towards me.
Why?
Because she’s friends with my brother.
Maybe that's what you want, but she is under no such obligation.
Jamesy wrote:
She would also be jeopardizing her friendship with my brother by being rude too me.
So?  Who is likely to provide more comfort and pleasure to your brother, you or her?  I think what may be happening here is that you want her to pay more attention to you than she does to your brother -- a little jealousy on your part, perhaps?  Why not find a girlfriend of your own and forget about your brother's girlfriend; obviously, she does not care about you and she is not likely to change as long as she has your brother's attention.




She’s not my brothers girlfriend she’s his ‘friend’



Fnord
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23 Dec 2019, 11:36 am

Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
So?  Who is likely to provide more comfort and pleasure to your brother, you or her?  I think what may be happening here is that you want her to pay more attention to you than she does to your brother -- a little jealousy on your part, perhaps?  Why not find a girlfriend of your own and forget about your brother's girlfriend; obviously, she does not care about you and she is not likely to change as long as she has your brother's attention.
She's not my brother's girlfriend, she's his 'friend'.
Even more reason to leave her be: She is your brother's friend, not yours!

Of course, you could approach them both with your demands and see how they react...


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