Yes, I don't seem to get any benefit from it, just downsides. Unless you include the fact that most NTs couldn't live in such social isolation as I have. If I didn't have autism I'd be able to be independent - I'd be able to drive, I'd be able to work even a full-time job I could make a living on, I'd be able to live in my own place without any assistance, and I'd be able to speak whenever I want to. I wouldn't be a burden on anyone but myself, and really, that's all I want from life.
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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"