Does Anger Make You Feel Small instead of Powerful?

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Hi fellow aspies,

Recently, I started identifying some of my emotions as anger, and, especially after my late diagnosis, started to feel angry more and more.

I am angry because nobody ever helped me when I was experiencing emotional and social issues. Instead, I was constantly bullied and ridiculed. I am also angry about people lying, treating me badly and abusing me just because I am more naive.

I read online that anger is supposed to make you feel powerful. However, when I am angry and have no outlet, I feel extremely small and powerless. Like, my anger does not change anything. And I feel embarrassed yelling or stating very logical reasons when others simply do not care.

I realized that anger can only work on people who fear you, or are weaker, therefore it is not right to be angry and scare them. But when you're angry towards people stronger than you, they simply laugh at you and dismiss you. In this case, anger does not achieve anything.

Do you experience similar thoughts and emotions? I do not like feeling anger, it makes me feel small and helpless.

I always feel guilty when I feel anger, unless it is directed towards myself. I feel like I don't have any right to be angry with other people, even if they are being unnecessarily mean or rude towards me. I always feel like I must have done something unknowingly and they have a good reason for acting that way. However, I'm constantly getting mad at myself, even over little things.

You have to let people know that they are being unnecessarily rude to you---otherwise, they'll walk all over you.