I can just feel the embarrassment in this scenario

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Joe90
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30 Apr 2020, 3:50 pm

My new and first boyfriend Dan picked me up to take me on a first date last night. When I went out to the car he said he's just going to check the back tyre, so I got into the front seat. It was very dark. Then I felt a cramp in my stomach and had an urge to fart, so I shuffled over and let rip, really loudly. Then I felt another one and let rip an even louder one. Thinking this was the perfect time to get all the gas out of my system before spending a romantic night with my hot new fella, I let out a few more until I felt much better, and as I was spraying my perfume to mask the stink, I heard a shuffle and a cough from the back seat, and then a voice say, "ahem, nice to meet you young lady. We are Dan's parents."

Don't worry, this did not happen to me, but can you imagine just how embarrassing this situation would be? :oops: :oops: :oops:
Also I wrote this to make you WP friends laugh. :lol:


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Karamazov
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30 Apr 2020, 4:51 pm

Raised a smile :D



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30 Apr 2020, 6:00 pm

Joe90 wrote:
My new and first boyfriend Dan picked me up to take me on a first date last night. When I went out to the car he said he's just going to check the back tyre, so I got into the front seat. It was very dark. Then I felt a cramp in my stomach and had an urge to fart, so I shuffled over and let rip, really loudly. Then I felt another one and let rip an even louder one. Thinking this was the perfect time to get all the gas out of my system before spending a romantic night with my hot new fella, I let out a few more until I felt much better, and as I was spraying my perfume to mask the stink, I heard a shuffle and a cough from the back seat, and then a voice say, "ahem, nice to meet you young lady. We are Dan's parents."

Don't worry, this did not happen to me, but can you imagine just how embarrassing this situation would be? :oops: :oops: :oops:
Also I wrote this to make you WP friends laugh. :lol:


Or a similar situation where politicians or others forget that they are wearing a microphone and go and visit the lavatory while on a quick break, and come back to be puzzled why all the audience are laughing.


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lostonearth35
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30 Apr 2020, 7:16 pm

This is one of those "urban legends" that I've heard before. There was a variation about a woman who loved baked beans even though they always gave her horrible gas, but when she got married she gave them up because she decided she loved her husband more and didn't want to stink up the place around him. One afternoon, about a year after the marriage, she's driving from work when her car breaks down not far from home, so she decides to walk the rest of the way. But she happens to walk past a diner and smells the aroma of baked beans and then she can't take it any more, and goes in and orders and orders and eats three bowlfuls. Sure enough as she walks the rest of the way home she's farting and tootling all over the lace, hoping it will be gone by the she's there. She goes inside and her husband is cooking dinner and says he has a wonderful surprise for her and makes her close her eyes as he guides her to her seat at the dining room table and tells her not to open until he says so. He goes back in the kitchen and sure enough, she feels another gas bubble welling up inside her. She decides to let it rip, and picks up a place mat, her eyes still shut, and waves the stink away as best as she can. Her husband comes back in and she's sitting there trying to act natural, and says she can open her eyes now. She does, and sees a beautiful cake on the table that says "Happy 1st Anniversary" and candle lights - and her parents whom her husband had invited over and instructed to stay quiet until he let her open her eyes.



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30 Apr 2020, 7:33 pm

One can get over passing gas. The bigger issue (for me) would be the parents along for a first-date and the ride there. That's... a no... a hard, that's too much towards unusual behavior, no.

Not getting the problem with the anniversary cake thing either. One's parents have surely smelled the worst they could've when wiping their child's butt and liquids away the first few years of life.



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30 Apr 2020, 9:25 pm

Blue_Star wrote:
One can get over passing gas. The bigger issue (for me) would be the parents along for a first-date and the ride there. That's... a no... a hard, that's too much towards unusual behavior, no.

Not getting the problem with the anniversary cake thing either. One's parents have surely smelled the worst they could've when wiping their child's butt and liquids away the first few years of life.


Yes, they will get over it, and they will just become funny family stories to tell, but I can definitely see how it might be horribly embarrassing at the time. Everyone farts, but it's typically something one tries not to do (or at least not to do loudly) in front of others unless one knows they will take it well, because not everyone does take it well, some people like to pretend that proper, polite ladies/gentlemen do not fart and don't like to be reminded that they do. The second story, where it was the woman's parents, they probably just laughed it off right away, but it would probably be at least a little awkward in the first one where it was the first impression she was making on the guy's parents (but who knows, maybe they just laughed it off, too) (though even I, who knows next to nothing about dating, would think it was odd for him to have his parents sitting in the car he was about to use to take someone on a first date, and agree that that would probably be a bigger issue than a bit of farting).


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Joe90
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02 May 2020, 11:55 am

dragonsanddemons wrote:
Blue_Star wrote:
One can get over passing gas. The bigger issue (for me) would be the parents along for a first-date and the ride there. That's... a no... a hard, that's too much towards unusual behavior, no.

Not getting the problem with the anniversary cake thing either. One's parents have surely smelled the worst they could've when wiping their child's butt and liquids away the first few years of life.


Yes, they will get over it, and they will just become funny family stories to tell, but I can definitely see how it might be horribly embarrassing at the time. Everyone farts, but it's typically something one tries not to do (or at least not to do loudly) in front of others unless one knows they will take it well, because not everyone does take it well, some people like to pretend that proper, polite ladies/gentlemen do not fart and don't like to be reminded that they do. The second story, where it was the woman's parents, they probably just laughed it off right away, but it would probably be at least a little awkward in the first one where it was the first impression she was making on the guy's parents (but who knows, maybe they just laughed it off, too) (though even I, who knows next to nothing about dating, would think it was odd for him to have his parents sitting in the car he was about to use to take someone on a first date, and agree that that would probably be a bigger issue than a bit of farting).


The reason why it's so embarrassing is nobody wants to have farting as their first impression.
The girl in the scenario could be shy, and the guy could have his parents in the back of his car for all sorts of reasons like maybe he's picking them up from somewhere that was on the way to the girl's house, or maybe they were old-fashioned and wanted to meet the girl straight away (especially if the new couple are young) or whatever.

For me (and for most people) farting is something I do in private and knowing that everyone farts doesn't comfort me in the least. Where I come from farting is a big deal, and is considered ill-mannered to fart in company unless you're close to them (like family).
My cousin once had a beautiful girlfriend, and after about 7 or 8 months into their relationship she accidentally farted in front of him, and she literally cried in shame. Then after that she left him and he never saw her again. Yes, that is a bit extreme.

But you could add your own embarrassing things to this scenario, like supposing you got into the car and started talking to yourself, or picking your nose, or anything else that you might do when you're alone.

I remember one time I was walking down a quiet country lane and there was nobody about, and I felt an itch in my private parts. I checked to make sure nobody was around, and gave it a good old scratch. Then as I started walking on I saw a man sitting in a parked car gawking at me. I had seen the parked car but I didn't know there was a person sitting in it until it was too late. :oops:


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02 May 2020, 12:10 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I had seen the parked car but I didn't know there was a person sitting in it until it was too late. :oops:

Not immediately noticing that a parked car is occupied can lead to all manner of embarrassing situations.


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03 May 2020, 12:13 am

I cant resist posting this Stephen Lynch song :arrow:


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Joe90
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05 May 2020, 2:35 pm

I have an embarrassing confession.

When I was 11 I was in assembly at school with about 400 other pupils, and I felt a strong urge to fart. I used up all my strength to hold it in but it seemed to be too strong and it began blasting out even though I was still trying to hold it back. It was so loud that it echoed around the silent assembly hall and everyone shuffled about in their seats looked around to see who it was coming from, trying not to laugh while the principal was talking (she probably heard it too but didn't react). Thankfully it did not smell at all and also nobody suspected it was me because of the way it echoed around, and at lunch all the kids were talking about who it could have been but I kept my mouth shut. I was SO glad I got away with it otherwise it would have been even more embarrassing. :oops:
You know kids and farts - it's the most biggest deal to fart loudly in a quiet room full of people and if they know it's you, you wouldn't hear the end of it.

I've never had a fart do that before and it's never happened since. I hadn't eaten anything either.


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05 May 2020, 3:24 pm

That's a funny story, but I agree it must be fictitious since I don't see how a person wouldn't know the back seat wasn't occupied.

This isn't the same thing in regard to the farter being embarrassed, but I've found this clip to be funny and I really like Catherine Tate.