Why do people believe in the myth when you hit 30 its over ?

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chris1989
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20 Aug 2021, 11:22 am

I think TV shows such as Love Island perpetuate this myth that life is over when you hit your thirties. Its as though it implies that you have one decade of life where you look attractive and you hit the next one and your beauty starts to fade and that if you haven't been in a relationship by now you'll never have one. I never really watched that show anyway but they have had series in the past where the eldest contestants were 31 and I found out in recent years the producers were not keen on having people over 30 on the show anymore. Caroline Flack hosted the show between 2015 and 2019 in her mid to late thirties and she was very attractive and Laura Whitmore is attractive too at 35-36.



professorkiki33
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20 Aug 2021, 7:51 pm

It's better for the patriarchy to perpetuate any type of myth that puts women down and makes them feel less than; it's just another method of mind control and they spread that myth through the television to make as many people believe it as possible.

In reality, your 30's are when you really start to become self-aware, you start to know yourself at a deeper level, gain independence and start to discover what truly makes you happy - even if that means starting your life over from scratch. When you hit 30, the only thing that's over is the self-delusion from young adulthood. Hitting 30 is an initiation into "real adulting".

People are beautiful no matter what age, as long as they take care of themselves, are happy, and are healthy.


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Redd_Kross
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20 Aug 2021, 7:57 pm

It was all over for me at 23, when my girlfriend miscarried and I had my first serious adult breakdown. Lost my job, lost my partner, and picked up enough anxiety and bad coping strategies that I'm still working my way through them now.

Everyone's different. Pick an age at random, it'll be life-changingly significant for someone.



Joe90
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21 Aug 2021, 1:27 am

30 is still young. Some people even start families in their 30s, or start the career they love, or whatever. One day you'll be 70, your life will be behind you and you'll wish you didn't waste your 30s thinking you are old and withered.

And don't watch crap like Love Island - it's complete s**t. Most other TV shows will make us 30-somethings feel young. Whenever I look in the mirror I don't see one wrinkle or grey hair - most men and women in their 30s can easily pass off as people in their 20s even without cosmetics to enhance their appearance. Come back when you're 60 and starting to notice your appearance changing.


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21 Aug 2021, 6:42 am

Shows like that are a product with a specific audience. They have to be because they're funded by advertising. So it becomes a simple calculation. Say you manufacture and sell spot cream. People over 30 are less likely to buy spot cream. So for the maximum return on your advertising spending, you want to target teens and 20-somethings. You want an audience densely comprised of people in your target age range.

If Love Island had a wide range of ages portrayed, they'd probably lose a chunk of that audience that aren't interested in older people's lives/bodies. And what's left would probably be diluted by older viewers who would find Love Island more relevant to them.

It might be a better show, but it becomes a less attractive advertising proposition. You end up with an audience that is hard to define, and therefore hard to target. The spot cream people don't want to advertise, but neither do the incontinence pad people.

It's not an agenda to dismiss the relevance of people over 30. It's just capitalism doing its thing and making things worse in insidious ways.



Joe90
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21 Aug 2021, 6:49 am

DuckHairback wrote:
Shows like that are a product with a specific audience. They have to be because they're funded by advertising. So it becomes a simple calculation. Say you manufacture and sell spot cream. People over 30 are less likely to buy spot cream. So for the maximum return on your advertising spending, you want to target teens and 20-somethings. You want an audience densely comprised of people in your target age range.

If Love Island had a wide range of ages portrayed, they'd probably lose a chunk of that audience that aren't interested in older people's lives/bodies. And what's left would probably be diluted by older viewers who would find Love Island more relevant to them.

It might be a better show, but it becomes a less attractive advertising proposition. You end up with an audience that is hard to define, and therefore hard to target. The spot cream people don't want to advertise, but neither do the incontinence pad people.

It's not an agenda to dismiss the relevance of people over 30. It's just capitalism doing its thing and making things worse in insidious ways.


This is a brilliant explanation.


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ezbzbfcg2
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21 Aug 2021, 7:03 am

Redd_Kross wrote:
It was all over for me at 23, when my girlfriend miscarried and I had my first serious adult breakdown. Lost my job, lost my partner, and picked up enough anxiety and bad coping strategies that I'm still working my way through them now.

Everyone's different. Pick an age at random, it'll be life-changingly significant for someone.


Brutally accurate. I feel you.



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21 Aug 2021, 9:28 am

Damn!! It just began for me after 30. The day before my 30th B'day, I went to sleep horribly depressed and said to myself, "I wish I don't get up tomorrow. Lord, take me today." I got up the next day as if some sort of light switch was turned on. I vaguely remembered feeling depressed but something significant happened that night. Something I can only be grateful for but can never understand. The next day, I felt as though I finally had a floor. Life didn't get easier but I had a simple joy in my heart that I didn't have before and I wanted to live. Now, I'm sixty. Life still isn't easy but I'm grateful for the life I have. Seriously, it was just like a light switch was flicked on. There was a tangible, miraculous "DIFFERENCE". The difference was inside of me. Everything else was exactly the same if not worse. The difference got me through. :)



chris1989
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21 Aug 2021, 4:25 pm

professorkiki33 wrote:
It's better for the patriarchy to perpetuate any type of myth that puts women down and makes them feel less than; it's just another method of mind control and they spread that myth through the television to make as many people believe it as possible.

In reality, your 30's are when you really start to become self-aware, you start to know yourself at a deeper level, gain independence and start to discover what truly makes you happy - even if that means starting your life over from scratch. When you hit 30, the only thing that's over is the self-delusion from young adulthood. Hitting 30 is an initiation into "real adulting".

People are beautiful no matter what age, as long as they take care of themselves, are happy, and are healthy.


I think it maybe just because when I see other people younger than me (31) thriving in a career or top position of a job it just leaves me thinking ''Why didn't I do that then?'' even at the same time though I might also be thinking what they are doing is not what I want to do. I try to remind myself not to forget that they are probably better at something I'm not good and I'm good at something that they may not be good at doing.



chris1989
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21 Aug 2021, 4:31 pm

I also seem to think in terms of dating, a person younger than a 30 year old who wants to go out with them will think they are looking for a more serious relationship and start a family to settle down soon and that younger person maybe put off in going out with them particularly if they are five years younger or ten years younger.



Joe90
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21 Aug 2021, 4:48 pm

I have a 31-year-old friend who has Fragile-X syndrome (if you don't know what that is look it up - it has a lot of autism similarities), and she only has mild learning difficulties but otherwise is high-functioning. But she has never even had a permanent, full-time job in her life, even though she's always looking and applying. She still lives at home, doesn't drive, and doesn't have a boyfriend either, and I'm the only friend she has as she struggles to make friends.

So at least you're in a job. I have an NT cousin, and although he's only 24 he's never had a girlfriend and gets depressed about it. He has mates and used to go out to bars and clubs with them (before the pandemic) but he still never met a girlfriend. He's shy but good-looking.

I just thought it might make you feel a little better to know that there other people out there who haven't reached certain milestones.


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nick007
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22 Aug 2021, 12:57 am

chris1989 wrote:
I think it maybe just because when I see other people younger than me (31) thriving in a career or top position of a job it just leaves me thinking ''Why didn't I do that then?'' even at the same time though I might also be thinking what they are doing is not what I want to do. I try to remind myself not to forget that they are probably better at something I'm not good and I'm good at something that they may not be good at doing.
There is also lots of luck &/or random chance involved as well. For example some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth & were able to buy their way into prestigious universities & had good connections to help them get a cushy job.



Joe90 wrote:
I just thought it might make you feel a little better to know that there other people out there who haven't reached certain milestones.
It's pretty common for those of us on the spectrum to be late bloomers compared to our NT peers. It's the nature of having a social disability in a world that relies heavily on social skills & 1st impressions. We should try to judge ourselves by our own standards that we would use to judge others instead of the standards others use to judge us. I know that is aLOT easier said than done though. My girlfriend is a very late bloomer with independence & life stuff & she puts herself down alot for it. She judges herself by the standards normal people would use to judge her but she NEVER judges others by those same negative standards. When she's putting herself down, I try telling her that she does not think negatively of me of being disabled & behind normal people & she doesn't think negativity of anyone else for that so she shouldn't judge herself by those negative standards but that logic never quite gets true to her :cry:


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22 Aug 2021, 3:43 am

Im 49 and still attractive even without make up

i met my husband when i was 40


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