ANYONE out there???

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No.
This is a simulated user designed to answer posts such as these.
You are not alone.
Good day.

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A is for Academia,
B is for Beer,
And one of those things
Is the reason we ain't here.

So leave a message.

If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 911. Or the suicide crisis line.

OH WAIT - THIS IS THE SUICIDE CRISIS LINE!




Is anybody out there?

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, [some versions have 'Schopenhauer and Hegel']

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whisky every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And René Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed.

If you've got a machine that will play sounds, why not listen to the Bruces http://www.adelaide.edu.au/library/guid ... os_song.au
in full-screen glorious technicolour.

aliens im shure

Well, if we're gonna sing beer songs...


Dough, the stuff that gets me beer
Ray, the guy who sells me beer
Me, the one who drinks the beer
Far, a long way to get beer
So, I'll have another beer
La, I'll have another beer
Tea, no thanks, I'm drinking beer
Which will bring us back to dough, dough, dough dough


The Landlord's prayer

Our bitter, which art in barrels
Hallowed be when drunk
I will be drunk at home as I am in the pub
Give us this day our foamy head
And forgive us our spillages
As we forgive those who spill against us
Lead us not into incarceration
But deliver us from hangovers
For thine is the beer - the ale and the lager
Forever and ever
Barmen