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Brain Weevil
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21 Jun 2023, 5:55 pm

A big moron and a little moron were sitting on a wall.
The big one fell off. Why didn't the other?
.
.
.
.
.
.... because he was a little more on!


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Diagnosed with severe ADHD [combined subtype] in 2012, age of 52. "Informally diagnosed" in 2021 as on the spectrum by two professional psychologists, deciding independently.

The world is not merely stranger than we suppose. It is stranger than we can suppose.
J. B. S. Haldane, (1892 – 1964) British biochemist.


Raleigh
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22 Aug 2023, 3:14 am

Why can't dyslexics tell jokes?

Because they punch up the screw line.


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Raleigh
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22 Aug 2023, 3:15 am

Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change colours?

It had a reptile dysfunction.


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Raleigh
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24 Aug 2023, 1:14 am

They've brought out a magazine for homeless people.
It's called Better Crates and Cartons.


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IsabellaLinton
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24 Aug 2023, 1:17 am

Oh sure. Barge in right when I'm falling asleep and feeling cuddly.

Some friend you are.


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Raleigh
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24 Aug 2023, 3:56 am

^ I don't get it. :scratch:

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Didley squats.


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IsabellaLinton
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24 Aug 2023, 5:49 am

I won the gold medal at that. ^


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Raleigh
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29 Aug 2023, 12:15 pm

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Because Ken came in another box.


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Readydaer
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29 Aug 2023, 12:29 pm

what did the sandwich say to the liar?

"what a bunch of baloney"


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My god. jelly donuts are so scary.


Raleigh
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29 Aug 2023, 2:51 pm

It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub and a 45 minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.


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Comet Zed
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07 Oct 2023, 11:18 pm

What do you call a joke without a punchline?


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uh-huh wooo yeah


Comet Zed
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07 Oct 2023, 11:24 pm

Why was the thicket running away?

It was being chased by the copse...


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uh-huh wooo yeah


Fnord
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07 Oct 2023, 11:47 pm

I started a career as a psychic, but gave it up. Couldn’t see any future in it.


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Fnord
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07 Oct 2023, 11:50 pm

Did you hear about that psychic who performed self-immolation in public today?

It's rare to see a medium so well done.


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Fnord
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07 Oct 2023, 11:52 pm

I knew the Psychic was a phony as soon as she accepted my check.


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Fnord
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07 Oct 2023, 11:53 pm

Hilary Clinton goes to a psychic. The soothsayer tells her, "Your husband will die a horribly violent death."

Hilary asks...

"Will I be acquitted?"


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