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Fairfield
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27 Feb 2023, 8:43 am

Readydaer wrote:
I don't get how this interaction was misinterpreted. Does this makes sense to you, WP?

"Can't you put an alarm on your phone?" -them

"No, because it's almost always on vibrate." -me

is it not a logical connection to extrapolate that, if an alarm would not work due to my phone being on vibrate, it is because my phone is not always near me, and thus would be an unreliable alarm?

Does your phone not let alarms go through even when it's on silent? Mine does, or at least I can allow it to do that. Even when on Do Not Disturb alarms still work.



nick007
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27 Feb 2023, 9:01 am

DuckHairback wrote:
I think I'd assume that if your phone was on vibrate, it'd be because it was on your person and you'd feel it vibrate. If you'd said my phone is almost always on silent, I think I'd have understood.
Saying it was on silent would have made more sense to me. Phones can be set to ring & vibrate at the same time & it's not uncommon for people to have both turned on or just one or the other.

Fairfield wrote:
Does your phone not let alarms go through even when it's on silent? Mine does, or at least I can allow it to do that. Even when on Do Not Disturb alarms still work.
Mine does. I always keep my phone on Do Not Disturb & it only rings for high priority contacts so I don't have to be bothered by ringing for nuisance calls.



I think you just left out some important info Readydaer which caused them to get confused. Sometimes it's difficult for me to determine what's important info & what is not.


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27 Feb 2023, 9:10 am

I see. Also, I'm not technologically literate enough to figure out the intricacies of alarm work. All i know is alarm on, vibrate, not vibrate, regarding that.


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nick007
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27 Feb 2023, 9:33 am

Readydaer wrote:
I see. Also, I'm not technologically literate enough to figure out the intricacies of alarm work. All i know is alarm on, vibrate, not vibrate, regarding that.
I understand. I majorly s#ck with technology, especially considering I'm an Aspie. I think Smart Technology is called Smart because you need an advanced degree related to computers in order to make full use of it :x


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Jakki
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27 Feb 2023, 9:59 am

agreed on that tech degree ....am going to play around and see if i can master that do not disturb function and getting it to push notifications through past the ," do not disturb " function. :roll:


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nick007
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28 Feb 2023, 12:44 am

Jakki wrote:
agreed on that tech degree ....am going to play around and see if i can master that do not disturb function and getting it to push notifications through past the ," do not disturb " function. :roll:
Good luck. I usually have to play around & then end up doing a Google search to figure things out. Then I either wonder why I didn't figure it out on my own cuz it was so simple; Or I wonder why they made things so hidden & overly complicated :wall:


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28 Feb 2023, 2:04 am

People who target the vulnerable because they know they can get away with it.


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28 Feb 2023, 2:22 am

Where_am_I wrote:
People who target the vulnerable because they know they can get away with it.


I love you


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28 Feb 2023, 3:05 am

babybird wrote:
Where_am_I wrote:
People who target the vulnerable because they know they can get away with it.


I love you

Aww, I love you too. :heart:


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nick007
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28 Feb 2023, 7:41 am

Where_am_I wrote:
People who target the vulnerable because they know they can get away with it.
I actually understand this in some cases. Sometimes abusers had hard lives & may feel like everyone looks out for themselves 1st. The abusers may develop a sense of entitlement & feel that the world owes them as a result. Or the abusers feel it's for their survival like a homeless person mugging people to afford food & a motel. Or it might be how some people who are majorly bullied end up becoming bullies themselves to feel a sense of power & prevent the bullies from being bullied more.


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28 Feb 2023, 8:00 am

^ Those examples, specifically the homeless person, is not the kind of abuser I'm talking about.

What's sad is how people like us don't have access to the right support to challenge these abusers.

Sometimes it really is beneficial to have links with mobsters to deal with people like that. *Looks bitterly at her contact list full of angels*


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28 Feb 2023, 8:07 am

nick007 wrote:
Where_am_I wrote:
People who target the vulnerable because they know they can get away with it.
I actually understand this in some cases. Sometimes abusers had hard lives & may feel like everyone looks out for themselves 1st. The abusers may develop a sense of entitlement & feel that the world owes them as a result. Or the abusers feel it's for their survival like a homeless person mugging people to afford food & a motel. Or it might be how some people who are majorly bullied end up becoming bullies themselves to feel a sense of power & prevent the bullies from being bullied more.


That's what's happening with a guy at work. He even admitted himself that he was bullied at school for being too shy (he's not on the spectrum) so he became a bully himself to make himself look tough.
Unfortunately he hasn't matured, because he's still like it as an adult. It seems he's shy and quite low in the social pecking order so wants to talk down to people like me to cover up his insecurities (even though that makes it show that he's insecure).

It's all very well and good to justify why bullies exist but it's so hard for the victims to live with. I've been bullied and socially rejected in my most vulnerable years (adolescence) but I never became a bully myself.

It's a difficult thing really, because say a child is being bullied by their own parents, everyone understandably feels sorry for the child, but then the child goes to school and finds another child to take their miserable home life out on. Then you feel angry towards the first child for making another child suffer, especially that child's parents, because no decent parent wants their child bullied.
But being bullied yourself doesn't always have to make you a bully to other children. My cousin had a friend at school who was neglected and abused at home, but she was the sweetest girl you could ever meet. She loved animals, and she would never bully other children. She was sensitive and shy. I heard she'd moved out as soon as she was 18, and now she has a family of her own and is a loving mother to her children.


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28 Feb 2023, 8:09 am

Where_am_I wrote:
^ Those examples, specifically the homeless person, is not the kind of abuser I'm talking about.

What's sad is how people like us don't have access to the right support to challenge these abusers.

Sometimes it really is beneficial to have links with mobsters to deal with people like that. *Looks bitterly at her contact list full of angels*
I agree. Society should be doing aLOT more to help build people up & work together instead of fighting & blaming each other for all the problems. It's a cycle that is rapidly getting worse. At this point I'm not sure what could realistically get done to majorly improve things other than hew-monity wiping out our own species :skull: :evil:


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28 Feb 2023, 8:30 am

Joe90 wrote:
That's what's happening with a guy at work. He even admitted himself that he was bullied at school for being too shy (he's not on the spectrum) so he became a bully himself to make himself look tough.
Unfortunately he hasn't matured, because he's still like it as an adult. It seems he's shy and quite low in the social pecking order so wants to talk down to people like me to cover up his insecurities (even though that makes it show that he's insecure).

It's all very well and good to justify why bullies exist but it's so hard for the victims to live with. I've been bullied and socially rejected in my most vulnerable years (adolescence) but I never became a bully myself.

It's a difficult thing really, because say a child is being bullied by their own parents, everyone understandably feels sorry for the child, but then the child goes to school and finds another child to take their miserable home life out on. Then you feel angry towards the first child for making another child suffer, especially that child's parents, because no decent parent wants their child bullied.
But being bullied yourself doesn't always have to make you a bully to other children. My cousin had a friend at school who was neglected and abused at home, but she was the sweetest girl you could ever meet. She loved animals, and she would never bully other children. She was sensitive and shy. I heard she'd moved out as soon as she was 18, and now she has a family of her own and is a loving mother to her children.
I was bullied a lot when I was in elementary school. I was also often thought to be a bully when I was not trying to be. Some of the times I was trying to defend myself. Other times I was trying to joke around & friendly tease to better fit in but my jokes got interpreted the wrong way. Other times I was under lots of stress & acted out kinda like a meltdown. I don't think being punished for my bad behavior was the rite thing to do when I did not understand how or why what I did was wrong but seemed OK for others to do or I felt like I was being provoked & pushed back into a corner.

Your cousin's friend sounds kinda like my girlfriend in some ways. She's a very empathetic & loving person or at least tries to be. Except she gets taken advantage of by certain family members & she's under lots of stress & pressure from various things. She reaches her breaking point & then gets depressed & shuts down or she'll get angry & kinda lashes out & then feels horribly guilty 1ce she's calmed down. It breaks my heart but I'm kinda lost as to how to help & be more supportive. Looking at things logically & analyzing the pros & cons & predicting the results based on patterns does not affect her decisions. She'll decide based on if she'll feel guilty rite now for not being there for someone but in the long run she cant be there for people as much unless she takes care of herself more.


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28 Feb 2023, 8:39 am

I was treated differently at school, so it wasn't a case of doing something right or wrong, it was just a case of "she's Joe90, so it's OK to make her feel invalid whatever she says or does". For example I remember when this girl in my class was all squeamish because she was getting goosebumps from being cold. She was like "eww, I can feel them all coming up on me, eww!" and the other girls in the group just smiled approvingly. But I knew full well that if I said exactly that about goosebumps they'd all say "oh shut up, stop being a stupid p****!" and turn their backs towards me. This sort of treatment happened constantly in adolescence. It was personal. I was treated differently because I was Joe90. It wasn't fair and I got so hurt inwardly but didn't want them to know. It's part of the reason I suffer with crippling RSD now. I seem to have a sort of C-PTSD.


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28 Feb 2023, 1:59 pm

oh yes the topic of bullying .....it is what breeds societies versions of insanity ,i think , especially over a extended period of time . So growing up , think my mom noticed i was shy and retiring , not connecting autism into the picture for me . So the ongoing beating and suffering that was inflicted upon me by my family et.al . In retropect, perhaps their intent was to toughen me up .With no idea that their behaviour could induce psychosis. So eventually , i realized that appearing as a bully is what they seemed to want,So around the family put on a mask .And tougher looking clothing . Did not stop my brothers. but stopped my parents . That took many years to learn
They were not keen on me socializing with other neighbourhood children whose parents did not inflict violence upon their children . It took them most of my growing years to try to indoctrinate me into being a delinquent . imho.
Seriously someone somewhere along my formative years someone should have called child protective services . All this while being raise in a supposably Stricter religious family . Additionally in retrospect the situation was obvious to my teachers in school and Neighbours but was one of many children in the family . Little non- verbal sister suffered a similiar fate of Abuse .
Older children in my family would duplicate my parents behaviour towards me . And for a few years would try to look the part . But was not able to do the bullying thing except one time . And still to this day feel poorly about it .
But part of that indoctrination still floats about in my head . Giving me a extreme disgust with bullies .
And feel as if often need to act to suppress those kind of people . But am aware that those things just breed bad behaviour . And taught what kind of behaviour not to put on others . Cause it felt bad to me.
All these situations just make no sense to me why you would put a child through those things or attempt to manipulate them in such ways . Actually in the long term destroying the family Unit.Moved out as soon as i could have back then . It is sad that my family bred such aweful persons that are loose in society .And that possibly will carry on in the older brothers families , But they are much older now ,And hopefully less of a threat to others .
Ideally from my Christian beliefs , Want to say " Father forgive them for they know not what they do "


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