goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
15 Jun 2023, 5:02 pm
funeralxempire wrote:
WilliamK1997 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
I don't tend to get heavily drunk, but I struggle a bit with not drinking.
I've been a little better disciplined since I've started treating every time I don't buy booze as an excuse to save money for goalie gear, but it's not enough to completely maintain discipline.
What worries me is that when I drink, it's never 1 or 2 drinks, it's always like >5 spaced out over 4-8 hours. Even if I don't become drunk, it's still more than one should drink. Well that and how easy it is to day-drink to deal with boredom.
I'm pretty sure I've bought at least a third of the Spirytus my local liquor store sells.
I've been a little better disciplined since I've started treating every time I don't buy booze as an excuse to save money for goalie gear, but it's not enough to completely maintain discipline.
What worries me is that when I drink, it's never 1 or 2 drinks, it's always like >5 spaced out over 4-8 hours. Even if I don't become drunk, it's still more than one should drink. Well that and how easy it is to day-drink to deal with boredom.
I'm pretty sure I've bought at least a third of the Spirytus my local liquor store sells.
My local liquor store has asked me if I’m okay since I buy a lot of beer cans there before.
Thankfully I've got 2 grocery stores, a convenience store and the Beer Store, on top of the liquor store.
Lucky you. I live in a backwards province where we can only buy liquor at liquor stores - gov't or private. We can only just recently buy some BC wine & ciders at a handful of larger supermarkets.
It's not THAT big of deal, just not as convenient as it should be to buy a 6 pack or whatever on your way to the beach like in 'murica 'cross the line where you can buy cases of beer at every gas station.
Whatever - alcohol is hella expensive here. Probably for the best that you have to go out of your way to buy it. Might be fewer alcoholics for it, too.. but, maybe not. You'd have to be pretty far out of town somewhere not to have a liquor store nearby somewhere.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
15 Jun 2023, 5:03 pm
Fairfield wrote:
mrpieceofwork wrote:
I guess I block this part out... me getting the shakes was one of the major reasons I started down the path to sobriety. If that hadn't happened to me, I am sure I not be here now to type this out. DO refer to your GP as much as is possible through this, because if you really are drinking that much, your body is not going to like you going "cold turkey". This is how insidious alcohol is. Do take care.
I started trying to drink less/hopefully eventually stop because my gallbladder/liver started hurting really bad all the time (probably because I take medication that I shouldn't drink with...), but especially when I drank. It was making me nauseous 24/7 and vomit a lot. Having a problem with alcohol is not fun at all and will f**k you up pretty quick.
No bueno At All.
I cannot imagine doing something like that to myself and it doesn't make any sense whatsoever why anyone does that to themselves.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
15 Jun 2023, 5:23 pm
goldfish21 wrote:
No bueno At All.
I cannot imagine doing something like that to myself and it doesn't make any sense whatsoever why anyone does that to themselves.
In my case I may have a personality disorder (BPD) from years of trauma, where one of the symptoms is literally self-harming behaviour and doing really risky s**t (like binge drinking) to deal with severe feelings of emptiness. I noticed alcohol helps with the anxiety and emptiness, and then as it spiraled I found it hard to give a F that I was hurting myself, until it really started to hurt and I started considering dumb life-destroying s**t like going to work buzzed (because I spent most of my day off work drunk and I started feeling like s**t while not drunk).
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,721
Location: Right over your left shoulder
15 Jun 2023, 5:33 pm
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
15 Jun 2023, 5:38 pm
Fairfield wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
No bueno At All.
I cannot imagine doing something like that to myself and it doesn't make any sense whatsoever why anyone does that to themselves.
In my case I may have a personality disorder (BPD) from years of trauma, where one of the symptoms is literally self-harming behaviour and doing really risky s**t (like binge drinking) to deal with severe feelings of emptiness. I noticed alcohol helps with the anxiety and emptiness, and then as it spiraled I found it hard to give a F that I was hurting myself, until it really started to hurt and I started considering dumb life-destroying s**t like going to work buzzed (because I spent most of my day off work drunk and I started feeling like s**t while not drunk).
Yeah, I know people with BPD and comprehend it.. but it still doesn't make sense.
Way better off smoking cannabis than drinking.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
15 Jun 2023, 5:40 pm
funeralxempire wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Whatever - alcohol is hella expensive here. Probably for the best that you have to go out of your way to buy it. Might be fewer alcoholics for it, too.. but, maybe not. You'd have to be pretty far out of town somewhere not to have a liquor store nearby somewhere.
One of the few things I don't mind about Doug Ford, Ontario was like BC until a few years ago.
Vancouver parks board just made it legal to drink in several parks & beaches.. and everyone here
'd because everyone who wants to drink in parks or at beaches already does. 
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.15 Jun 2023, 5:54 pm
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,721
Location: Right over your left shoulder
15 Jun 2023, 5:57 pm
goldfish21 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Whatever - alcohol is hella expensive here. Probably for the best that you have to go out of your way to buy it. Might be fewer alcoholics for it, too.. but, maybe not. You'd have to be pretty far out of town somewhere not to have a liquor store nearby somewhere.
One of the few things I don't mind about Doug Ford, Ontario was like BC until a few years ago.
Vancouver parks board just made it legal to drink in several parks & beaches.. and everyone here
'd because everyone who wants to drink in parks or at beaches already does. But now they can't single out people to harass for drinking in public, whereas before they could.
Kinda like how in Ontario everyone drives 20 over and rarely gets ticketed, but cops can pull pretty much anyone over at anytime with cause, because hey, they were doing 102 in an 80.
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,721
Location: Right over your left shoulder
15 Jun 2023, 5:58 pm
Fairfield wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Yeah, I know people with BPD and comprehend it.. but it still doesn't make sense...
NGL I'm not quite sure you do comprehend it, but most people without BPD/traits if it can't really fully fathom the s**t we do so I'm not surprised. You basically have to experience it to "get it" because it's a whole rollercoaster of s**t that creates those behaviours. lol
Unless someone's been there they really can't understand why someone would consciously inflict harm upon themselves, or knowingly risk severe harm without any benefit.
Because I deserve it.
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
15 Jun 2023, 10:25 pm
Fairfield wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Yeah, I know people with BPD and comprehend it.. but it still doesn't make sense...
NGL I'm not quite sure you do comprehend it, but most people without BPD/traits if it can't really fully fathom the s**t we do so I'm not surprised. You basically have to experience it to "get it" because it's a whole rollercoaster of s**t that creates those behaviours. lol
I've dated someone with it and experienced a whole lot of it as close as I'm going to without being the one with BPD.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
16 Jun 2023, 7:44 am
16 Jun 2023, 7:46 am
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
16 Jun 2023, 8:52 am
bigbadbarry84 wrote:
Great thread. And I love it's sense of comradery.
I HAVE to drink every night or I cannot sleep. I also see it as a sort of reward, or a treat, for getting through the day and accompanying my me-time before going to bed.
Like someone else here earlier said, once I start I cannot stop, so I do not to drink until the evening (in fact I have no desire for alcohol in daylight hours... it just feels wrong and makes me sleepy).
Still, I feel the drinking every day thing is a bit much and I want to try to cut down.
Every day is a beer (sometimes two), then about 1 hour before bedtime I sip my way through a STRONG whisky and coke, then I might think "well.... i need to be in bed by 10.30. It is 10 now. I have have another one of those, but shouldn't".
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, but I never wake up the next morning on the latter occasions thinking I wish I had that extra one. Reminding myself that helps.
I HAVE to drink every night or I cannot sleep. I also see it as a sort of reward, or a treat, for getting through the day and accompanying my me-time before going to bed.
Like someone else here earlier said, once I start I cannot stop, so I do not to drink until the evening (in fact I have no desire for alcohol in daylight hours... it just feels wrong and makes me sleepy).
Still, I feel the drinking every day thing is a bit much and I want to try to cut down.
Every day is a beer (sometimes two), then about 1 hour before bedtime I sip my way through a STRONG whisky and coke, then I might think "well.... i need to be in bed by 10.30. It is 10 now. I have have another one of those, but shouldn't".
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, but I never wake up the next morning on the latter occasions thinking I wish I had that extra one. Reminding myself that helps.
There's nothing in alcohol that makes you fall asleep unless you're drinking until you pass out. Meanwhile, there's caffeine in coca-cola that keeps you awake.
Seems you've just conditioned yourself to believe you Need to drink alcohol to sleep.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.nadroJ
Veteran
Joined: 10 Apr 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,442
Location: 93 Billion Light-Years Big Universe
16 Jun 2023, 9:30 am
16 Jun 2023, 9:40 am
16 Jun 2023, 9:54 am
