Favourite monologues, then. :P

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25 Oct 2005, 8:35 am

Jule's version of Ezekiel 25:17 from Pulp Fiction:

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

I love it.

Last edited by thepeaguy on 25 Oct 2005, 7:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sophist
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25 Oct 2005, 2:58 pm

I'm not as much into long monologues as I tend to quote short phrases for random occasions.

But in 5th grade I was very into Guys and Dolls and could do the dialogue of the first 30 minutes by heart. This, however, has not stuck with me and I'm afraid I can't repeat it anymore. Though I still know many of the lines by heart. And of course, the songs.

*singing* "The Biltmore Garage wants a grand. But we ain't got a grand on hand. And they now have a lock on the door on the gym at Public School 84. There's the stockroom behind the McKlowsky's bar. But Mrs. McKlowsky ain't a good scout. And things being how they are, the back of the police station is out. So the Biltmore Garage is the spot. But the one thousand bucks we ain't got. --Why it's good old reliable Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan Detroit. If yer lookin' fer action he'll furnish the spot. Even when the heat is on it's never too hot. Not for good old reliable Nathan..."

You get the point.

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Thagomizer
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25 Oct 2005, 2:58 pm

Hmm, well I would think of that more as a Bible quote than a movie monologue, myself.

Anyway, my favorite is from "Wizards":

"Fritz! Frtiz! Get up for God's sake, get up! THEY'VE KILLED FRITZ! THEY'VE KILLED FRITZ!! THOSE LOUSY STINKING YELLOW FAERIES! THOSE HIDEOUS ATROCITY-FILLED VERMIN! THOSE DESPICABLE ANIMAL WARMONGERS!! ! THEY'VE KILLED FRITZ!! TAKE THAT, YOU GREEN SLIME...! !!" (shoots randomly)

Try downloading the clip here (where it's much funnier):

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/wizards/index.html

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Last edited by Thagomizer on 25 Oct 2005, 11:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Namiko
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25 Oct 2005, 6:30 pm

A lot of the stuff from Shakespeare isn't so bad. I'm especially in love with the speech in Macbeth (Act 3, scene 1) where Macbeth has just been made king and is plotting to murder Banquo.

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nirrti_rachelle
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25 Oct 2005, 8:00 pm

Sofia from "The Color Purple"......

"All my life I had to fight…I had to fight my daddy, I had to fight my uncle…I had to fight my brothers! Girl chile aint safe in a family of mens….but I aint NEEEVA thought I’d have to fight in mah own house! I loves Harpo! Gawd knows I do! But I’ll kill him dead befo’ I let him beat me!"

Oprah deserved an Oscar nom just for that one line.

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25 Oct 2005, 8:33 pm

Always makes me laugh hysterically...

'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! He's freakin' snuffed it!..... THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

Brilliant! Entire script of sketch here

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25 Oct 2005, 8:59 pm

There's a couple from Clue I'll put here:

Mrs. White: "Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her so... much... it... it... the... it... the... flames... flames... flames... on the side of my face... breathing... breathless... heaving breaths... "

And, the most horribly worded question ever heard outside of the question in Anguished English that should have been taken out and shot:

"Is there or isn't there anybody in the house, yes or no?"

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25 Oct 2005, 11:11 pm

No there is?! Or not there isn't??! !! !

(tears out hair and dies)

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NeantHumain
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25 Oct 2005, 11:50 pm

thepeaguy wrote:

Isn't that quote originally from Pulp Fiction, not the Beeble?

Oh, oops, I just saw that you mentioned it was from Pulp Fiction.

thepeaguy
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26 Oct 2005, 6:43 am

Thagomizer wrote:

Hmm, well I would think of that more as a Bible quote than a movie monologue, myself.

It is, in fact, Tarantino's very own collage from other different passages from various sources to give that Bible passage the dramatic effect it has on the film. Quentin has admitted doing this.

This is the original passage from King James' version of the Bible:

"And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them."

Here's another of my Pulp Fiction favourites, the Gold Watch monologue (bit long, though).

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26 Oct 2005, 8:34 am

"In vain I have struggled: it will not do. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. I am well aware that in doing so I am going against the wishes of my friends, my family and I hardly need add, my own better judgment. The present situation of our families is such that any alliance must be regarded as a highly reprehensible act, yet it cannot be helped. Almost since the moment we first me I have come to feel a passionate admiration and regard for you, and I be you, most fervently, to relieve my suffering and consent to me my wife."

:lol:

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26 Oct 2005, 9:49 am

Serissa wrote:

I LOVE THAT MOVIE!! !! !! !! !! !! !

"I was in the hall. I know because I was there."

"I'm not shouting!! !... Alright I am. I'm shouting! I'm shouting! I'm shout--"

"Eh, it's the chandelier, it fell down, almost killed us, would you come this way?"

"Just like the Mounties, we always get our man."
"Mrs. Peacock was a man?!"
*slap* *slap*

"Another door?" *shower turns on*

"Our's not to reason why, our's but to do and die."
"--Die?"
"Merely quoting, sir, from Alfred Lord Tennyson."
"Ah, Tennyson. I prefer Kipling, myself. The female of the species is more deadly than the male? You like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?"
"Sure, I'll eat anything."

"So, to make a long story short--" "TOO LATE!"

"I'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife."

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26 Oct 2005, 9:55 am

PhoenixKitten wrote:

Yay!! That one, too!!

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26 Oct 2005, 12:07 pm

Quote:

Arise! Arise, riders of Théoden! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered; a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!
Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride for ruin and the world's ending! DEATH! DEATH!! DEATH!! ! Forth Eorlingas! ~ King Théoden

Quote:

Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball player, the toughest boxer. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans.

Now, an Army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don’t know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating.

We have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit and the best men in the world. You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against. By God, I do. We’re not just going to shoot the bastards, we’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We’re going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Nazis are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.

Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We’re not holding anything. Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose.

There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what did you do in the great World War II, you won’t have to say, "Well, I shoveled s**t in Louisiana."

Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be
proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle – anytime, anywhere.

That’s all. ~General Patton

I think you can tell I'm a big fan of war movies?

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26 Oct 2005, 6:56 pm

"All right, we've got a great show with a lot of great prizes, so let's waste no time."

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27 Oct 2005, 9:09 am

It has to be Anthony Quinn as Auda abu Tayi:

I carry twenty-three great wounds, all got in battle. Seventy-five men have I killed with my own hands in battle. I scatter, I burn my enemies' tents. I take away their flocks and herds. The Turks pay me a golden treasure, yet I am poor! Because *I* am a river to my people!

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