Post your favorite songs/insults from school!

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In elementary school we sang the classic elementary school songs and insults/plays on words:


I believe I can fly.
I got shot by the FBI.
I think about it every night and day.
Spread my wings and fly away.
I believe I can soar.
I got run over by a 4x4.
I got eaten by a dinosaur.
I got (decapitated by an open door or something.)


John John the leprechon
went to school with nothing on.
The teacher said "That's not fair!"
and took off his underwear.


Jingle bells, jingle bells, Santa Claus is dead.
Rudolph took a 44 and shot him in the head!


Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg.
Batmobile lost his (its?) wheel
and Joker played (did?) ballet.
Batman's in the kitchen, Robin's in the hall.
Joker's in the bathroom, peeing on the wall.


Joy to the world, the school burned down
and all the teachers died!
The principal was dead.
We shot him in the head.
The janitor was gone.
We flushed him down the john
nd now it's up to u-u-us
to blow up the bus!


Joy to the world, the teacher's dead.
We barbecued her head.
What happened to her body?
We flushed it down the potty.
Around and round it goes.
Around and round it goes.
Aro-ound and ro-o-ound and round it goes!


Person 1: Guess what?
Person 2: What?
Person 1: Ha ha, you're gay! I said "If you're gay say 'what'!"
Person 2 (if he was smart): You just said "what" too, so it makes no sense... you're gay too if that's the case!


Johnny: What's your name?
Jimmy: Jimmy.
Johnny: What color is the sky?
Jimmy: blue. (usually it is blue, but once I was "Jimmy" and I said gray, and got my friend who was trying to pull that on me all frustrated! )
Johnny (pointing straight up): Which way am I pointing?
Jimmy: Up!
Johnny: Ha ha, Jimmy blew up!


Johnny: What's your name?
Jimmy: Jimmy.
Johnny (pointing to his nose): What's the name of the body part I'm pointing to?
Jimmy: Nose. (If Jimmy was smart he'd say "the nose" and thus make the whole thing not make sense.)
Johnny (holding out his empty hand): What am I holding in my hand?
Jimmy: Nothing. (If Jimmy was smart, he might say a lot... after all, Johnny has a lot of air in his hand.)
Johnny: Ha ha! Jimmy knows nothing!


There were also stupid things going around like "If your hand is bigger than your face you have cancer."


I'm bored, yeah.

I remebering the class singing this in first grade music class.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gn4Kfvxczs0[/youtube]

This is is my land, and only my land
It isn't your land, because its my land
I have a shotgun, and ain't got one
This land was made for only me.

Le temps des cerises. French popular song.

Man, that first post brought back memories. Especially the cancer thing. I'm fairly certain I was one of the main spreaders of that rumor in my elementary school- I was a little idiot.

Concentration sixty-four
Do not open the bathroom door
If you do, you shall die
Concentration sixty-five
I'm pretty sure that was a clapping game. We were a bit obsessed with it in my fourth grade class, along with some nonsense words chanting thing called (I think) "Bobo ski wotton-totton'. Bizarre. (Though I still remember all of the hand movements for it.)

My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We've tortured all the teachers, we've broken every rule
We barbequed the principal, destroyed the PTA,
Us kids are marching on!
That one isn't an elementary school song for me, but we used to sing it in gym class my sophomore year.

I love the school-burning one; there are other verses or versions too; one of them is about the teachers going to the zoo and then being sent back because they're too wild and bark and bite at every single passing child.


I also remmeber kids thinking that you had cooties (lice) if your hair was staticky.

I don't remember songs I heard on the playground, but our music teacher was very strict so she made us repeat every song until we sang it absolutely perfectly, so I remember those. Here are some of my favorites:

I heard, I heard the old man say
John Ka-na-ka-na-ka Too-la-ay
Today, today is a holiday
John Ka-na-ka-na-ka Too-la-ay
Too-la-ay Oh Too-la-ay
John Ka-na-ka-na-ka Too-la-ay

Above the plains of gold and green
A young boy's head is plainly seen
A-hu-ya-hu-ya-hu-yaya
Swiftly flowing river
A-hu-ya-hu-ya-hu-yaya
Swiftly flowing river
Not 'tis not a young boy's head
'Tis Iftka's Castle spire instead
A-hu-ya-hu-ya-hu-yaya
Swiftly flowing river
A-hu-ya-hu-ya-hu-yaya
Swiftly flowing river

Don't want your weevil-y wheat
Don't want your barley
Take some flour in half an hour
And bake a cake for Charlie
5x5 is 25
5x6 is 30
5x7 is 35
5x8 is 40
Don't want your weevil-y wheat
Don't want your barley
Take some flour in half an hour
And bake a cake for Charlie
5x9 is 45
5x10 is 50
5x11 is 55
5x12 is 60

You are made of ooey gooey gopher guts,
Chopped up monkey meat,
Concentrated dirty feet,
French-fried eyeballs packed in a booger ball,

That's what you are made of!

In French class in grade 10 when we were waiting to be dismissed a group of boys would yell/sing this:


I WANT TO GO TO THE FARM TODAY! Hey!


Feed. The chickens. Feed. Feed. The Chickens. (Sometimes it was "chase the chickens".
Milk. The cow. Milk. Milk. The cow.
Ride. The horse. Ride. Ride. The horse.

Then there were other verses... I WANT TO GO TO THE ZOO TODAY! and I WANT TO GO TO THE CITY TODAY!


Also, in elementary school some would say, "You stuck jelly in my belly and you made me smelly" "You sick a dart in my heart and you make me fart."

Happy birthday to you,
Squashed tomatoes and stew/I went to the zoo
I saw a fat monkey
And I thought it was you!

Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin flew away
Uncle Billy
Lost his willy
On the motorway!

Oh, yeah, LadyMacbeth, you reminded me...


"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a heater...
he accidentally turned it on and burned his little weener!"


Happy birthday to you,
you sme-ell like poo...


or,


Happy birthday to you,
you live in the zoo,
you look like a monkey
and act like one too!

Whenever somebody said "You know what?" ...

Your butt!
You know what else? It smells.
You know how? Like a cow.
You know when? When you bend.
You know why? You don't wipe.
You know where? In your underwear!

LOL; that one sounds AWFUL! You reminded me of another one!


1, 2, 3, 4... get the women off the floor!
5, 6, 7, 8... who do we appreciate?
The boys... the boys!
Why, why, why!?
Because they're gonna die!
When, when, when?
At 10 p.m.!
Where, where, where?
Sitting in an electric chair, burning off their underwear!
Turn around and let me see!
Oooh, gross, ooohee!


(sometimes they say rocking chair instead of electric chair, and "burning off their hair" actually makes more sense because the electric shock is applied only to the person's head and sometimes their calf... I'm surprised nobody realized that and changed the lyrics.)

I can think of a few

Build a bonfire, build a bonfire
Put the teachers on the top
Put the headmaster in the middle
And burn the f****ng lot

There was a Titanic song I can't remember the words.

Person 1: Guess what
Person 2: What?
Person 1: Told you you'd never guess

We use to insult someone about the way the smelt we use to ask them if they lived in a box
And when they walk pass we would sing 'Living In A Box'.

In 1984,
my daddy went to war.
He sat on the grass
and blew up his ass
(and couldn't sit down no more?)