disgusted of people

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I'm not really new here. I just haven't posted in a while and I forgot my old handle.
I just want to express here my absolute disgust of the human race. In the last few years where I've been forced to deal with others or have attempted to deal with others to make friends or aquiantances, have been the worst years of my life. I've had my ass beat to the point where I ended up in the hospital needing a catscan because I was bleeding out of my ears, by a guy that ripped me off for a thousand dollars and all I asked for was an apology from him. I tried to press charges but the DA wouldn't do it because my two ex-friends were there and called it a fight. So he wouldn't even charge the a**hole with a misdemeanor for fighting. This is the same DA that tried to charge me with a felony strike for trying to defend myself in a situation where someone else I once called FRIEND set me up to get robbed (long story, don't ask). I've been manipulated, taken advantage of, set up to get robbed and beaten, ripped off for thousands of dollars (in the range of $5k - $10k), assaulted, betrayed, and just about everything else you could do to a person short of killing them. And I've f*****g had it. Whenever I look at another human being I just want to rip their heart out and feed it to them. Today for example, my little 8 year old cousin called me crazy and stupid, when she didn't think I was listening. I just want to get away from it all. All of these issues have risen because of one factor: my inability to deal with people. Now I'm a total headcase, mentally ill because of s**t that was done to me in my childhood, by people I thought I could trust. I'm only 24 years old and I'm already on permanent disability for my mental health issues. It usually takes people years and years to get on it, and it only took me 3 months. That goes to show you how screwed up I am.
People are a disease on this planet. Everyone is worthless and all existence is meaningless. I'm seriously considering moving to Alaska to some desolate place where I wouldn't have to be around so many people and would only deal with them minimally.
It just seems like all the stuff that has happened to me over the years is all starting to come back and haunt me now. I figure at the time these things happened, it was easy to let them go because I had so much else going on in my life. Now my life is pretty stable, I don't have a whole lot going on so all the stuff that I repressed from years and years ago is starting to resurface again.
Like all the people that screwed me over, I think about day in and day out now. All I can think about is how to get back at everyone. I feel like going postal sometimes.
I just don't know how to deal with all this hatred.
I know its this whole mild autism thing that makes it so hard for me to deal with people and why I get taken advantage of all the time. Its not that I let it happen, its just that I don't know any better.

does anyone else here feel the same way about people?

I have had my door kicked in by 3 robbers and had my head beat in with a rock to the point my couch was covered in blood, had a 22. pointed at my face and been robbed at point blank range for my coat, cell phone, wallet, and shoes, had my ex-girlfriend cheat on me with my best friend while i was supporting him in my house, while i was out at night depressed walking the streets, i was then kicked out by my ex because she wanted to break up with me and pursue a relationship with some guy... leaving me homeless. (never went to the docter for the rock beating thing, i have poor health insurance )

All within the last year

And no i still like people, it's all perspective though.

I believe you just got to get out of the situation that is causing you this much grief... best thing that happened to me was getting kicked out by my ex, it helped me get insight on the people i was surrounding myself with. Not all people are the same in my experience.

(not to mention after being homeless i was arrested for selling drugs while trying to maintain enough money to support myself and pay for a place to sleep, because i lost my job due to stability issues) (marijuana if your interested in knowing)

I think you guys might be living in the wrong country... it's quite nice over here.

maybe

Plan to move away if only i could find a couple of people to go with me so im not alone in a foriegn land...

ChristBait,
Would going to an adult ASD support group or day centre help with coping?
What might help to start lessening the hate of humans is being with some who are kind and understanding.
Keep saying to self in mind, 'there are good humans out there,just haven't met them yet',and keep using WP to as will find a lot of support here.
The bad ones will ruin themselves eventually,unless they change their ways.


am have had a human hatred to,not that long ago,due to daily unprovoked abuse off strangers, and violence [from one particular gang of teenagers] which was focussed around a mobility impairment,autism being the obvious/visible kind-and looking like a kid [so am look like easy prey],all of these people made am hate the human race,but it was WP,tutors at college and support staff that eventually helped realise not everyone is a b*********d.

You're not screwed up. I've only been through a fraction of what you've gone through, and I'm still not "over" it. I'll carry some of the bruises 'til the day I die. I have no advice... time is the only thing that has helped me. Time and the will to grow, I guess. I'm glad you're here. I hope that you'll get some peace from writing and reading what others have to say. At the very least, I hope you will feel less alone.

Take care! And welcome back.

Thanks. I feel a little better after reading your post. I figure I got over a hundred views on this thread, and only 4 people replied, so something must be wrong with what I said, or maybe it was the way I said it. I know I sounded angry and unreasonable in the my post, but I just had to vent. Fact is, I spend most of my days angry and pissed off all the time, fueled by a past that I cannot let go. I'm surprised more people can't relate to what I've been through, considering how socially naive us aspies tend to be.

I came back and read it a few times before answering, so at least three of those views are just from me. I bet a lot of people can relate. It's hard to admit to having such strong feelings from time to time though. You were brave to vent while you were feeling that way. I bet most people I know would be shocked if they could hear the extreme thoughts I have when I'm having a meltdown. It's all a bunch of "I hate this and I hate that and I hate being here and nothing's ever going to be better..." and on and on. Of course, once I have time to compose my thoughts and get things in perspective, that's not anywhere near what I really think, but ... well, I'm sure you know how it goes.

As for moving to Alaska... once again, I'm glad you're here. ^_~ I remember asking several times "Who else wants to be a hermit in the woods?" when I first came to WP. At certain times in our lives we are in dire need of hearing that somebody else out there is going through something similar. In the end we're still going through life alone, no matter how many people identify with us or care about us but somehow (at least for me) it helps a great deal to know the others have trod along the same sorts of paths.

Perhaps for each of us it is a little different, partly because of the culture that surrounds us and our accidental interactions with it. Although I very much enjoy deeper, 1 on 1 discussions, I generally dislike being around collections of people (stores, parties, bars, buses, airports and planes, etc.) quite a lot and stay at home most of the time. I will usually venture out, from necessity, once a week. Longer at home if I can manage without. I work out of the home, in fact, and have been lucky that way.

I was reading your trials and felt terribly for you. I lived as a child in a home without walls, had to work the fields for the money I needed to live (there was no loaves and fishes then, no welfare to speak of, etc.) Things were tough enough, I suppose. And I had bullies who chased me around, called me names, and beat me up pretty bad, as a kid. But I can't say I've been through as much as you have. And not as an adult. But when I was reading what you wrote and you talked about Alaska, it was like a bright spot of light to me. I cannot think of much better than going to Alaska, frankly, or perhaps unpopulated portions of Canada. And your mentioning it reminded me of my earlier desire also to get a 45' Cape Dory sailboat and stay out at sea for 6 months at a time. I could not imagine something finer than that. It remains something deeply appealing in my soul to this day. I wouldn't go do these things to avoid being taken advantage of, I'd do them simply because it would be so fantastically pleasant to just be by myself, have only myself to be responsible for, have to learn everything I'd need to know to survive on my own with minimal contact with others. Only needing, perhaps, to get the occasional piece of metal and so on, once or twice a year. Very, very attractive thought. Now you've got me perseverating on it, again!

Jon