Would You Make A Good Eyewitness?

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Since I do not make eye contact and am looking down all the time, sadly I would be useless. I also do not even bother listening to names and other meaningless chatter, so I could not even add value to a potential investigation that way either. How about you?

I would pay attention and throw my whole life into it if there was something like a disaster happening, I think, usually. Usually I at least slightly do not pay attention, like in normal circumstances when life is too boring. but even that has been better sincethe antidepressants; I probably need Ritalin tho.

Police officer: "Can you tell us what you saw?"

Me: "Yes. My book contained the sentence 'Anna could not quite stifle her gasp of horror.' I also saw that the paper that my book was printed on had an unusual texture, that someone had spilled tomato sauce on the table that I was at, and that there was a loose thread on my shirt. There seemed to be a bit more noise than usual..."

Police officer: "That's because someone was being murdered."

Me: "Oh, right, that would explain it."

I would make a poor eyewitness, but if air marshals were to land as police were, I would make a good protectorate of the people.

My memory for detail- at least the details other people seem to notice- is notoriously horrible.
I don't note what people look like or what they're wearing very well, and I have no talent for remember chronological details. I'm lucky if I remember which door I entered a room through.

I remember once when I was sitting at a coffee shop, near the door and about ten feet from the counter. Somebody grabbed the tip jar and tried to run out, there was a scuffle, and the thief got away; he ran by within a foot of where I was sitting. My friends and I didn't notice a thing.

I'd make a lousy eyewitness, and an even worse security guard

I would talk myself right out of their listening by using words and phrases and concepts they've never known of to learn to judge. To cover for thier inate feelings of inferiority and lack of intellectualism I would be labelled and branded as insignificant, lying, or some other label to which the balls would get rolling on manifest destiny. By the time I dug myself out of THAT, I would need too much recovery to be a witness. And that would be to their relief as trials are costlier than a few witnesses lost in coverup.