YES! I am leaving... and nothing you say can be used against me...uh... I mean nothing you say will keep me from going!
In lieu of recent events here on WrongPlanet, I have decided to take necessary actions!
We have seen WIDE-SCALE... MASSIVE... amounts of people leaving WrongPlanet and I cannot resist the urge to dash away all individuality and become a FOLLOWER!
There! I said it, and I am glad!
Wrong Planet has crept surreptitiously into my being and has wrought significant changes in my life... changes that have to be addressed in no other way than to remove myself from this place!
For many a night & fortnight I have been burdened by the most recently acquired, Nocturnus-Postus-Wide-Awakeness-Syndrome.
This has caused undue hardship and many a sleepless night as I type and peer robotically at the Wrong Planet Discussion Forums abandoning all hope for the comfort of my bed and Bartholomew... my stuffed doggie.
I hold this site to blame!
IN ADDITION... I have been suffering from SEVERE, PROLONGED, EXASPERATED, INCESSANT, INSIDIOUS, and just plain uncomfortable..... .................... Apochryphal-Flatulant-DisMincturinal-Constipatorial-Sedetarionism!
This has caused painful swelling leading to arm and eye strain due to the table being pushed farther and farther away as my body bloats! I fear Exaggerated-Reach-Phenomenon in my traumatic attempts to continue operating my keyboard at such distances!
WHO PAYS FOR THIS????? ME, of course!
AND IN REGARDS to significant financial losses incurred by the nicotine-like addictive qualities of WrongPlanet...
...I SUBMIT that several days ago I entered into a legal and binding agreement with a local establishment granting me temporary possession of rented movies to which the main purpose was the viewing of said movies. Ergo, and in light there of and so forth we have seen that the actions of the heretofore mentioned, named AND described place known as WrongPlanet, perpetuated, exasperated and serenaded this contract that said plaintiff was encumbered, cucumbered, and willingly attached in proclamatis, which has been faulted, defaulted, defatted, and generally disregarded to the point that only one of three movies was watched by the end of the ascribed period in due loan.
With plurubal discount and neverish petitionalism, co-quitis envacuum, expungit... further financial debilitation has been placed upon said client's meager accounts with prior head-nodding and quo-partum-watchit-tonite-is.
WHO PAYS FOR THIS????? ME, of course!
I hope my words do not alarm you nor cause discomfort.
It is not my place to upset the delicate balance between the membership here and so I walk alone... ahha, ahha, ahha, on the boulevard of broken dreams, ahha, ahha, ahha....
I shall bid you a fond farewell... I cannot say if I will return... in 6 1/2 minutes, 47 minutes, or 02:51:03.
But I assure you... I WILL RETURN!
You have been warned!
You might ask, "Who is to blame for WSmac leaving us?"... tearfully I assume... with head bowed... body quaking in grief at the loss of my personna non gada da vida...
Is it ANA54? With her child-like enthusiasm, Damn-The-Torpedos Social Activism remanding me to a quivering, shallow form due to my desires to 'not get involved' and just plain old cuteness?
Was it Ragtime? With his scintillating queries of the feminine mystique causing the unfamiliar and uncontrollable welling of uneasiness in my loins punctuated by copious amounts of sweat bathing my face and armpits in phermone-like scents?
Perhaps we should look to the surreal and difficult-to-remember-how-to-spell Gwenevyn? Tempting us all with the allure of her charming personality, while she waits behind my screen in exaggerated stiletto and uber-femme leather, whip poised on high ready to dash upon my body at the slightest hint of an inappropriate post.
BUT, aren't we forgetting someone?????
A single individual residing in close proximity to our Nation's Capitol (you Non-U.S. types just follow along here... we'll get back to you in a minute), dapper and smooth with disconcerting good looks, yet holding the power by which with a single key-stroke he can change our lives, our world, our post-counts!
YES... our fearless leader.... ALEX!
Nay bretheren and sisteren, I submit this has been the work of far too many to name.... well... maybe just a couple... TimTex, Sinsboldly, Macallan, MrMark, Reika, Lau, Starr, GBollard, Richie, Hale_Bopp, IdahoRose, Space, Sapphowoman, Icarus, Triangular_Trees, Fedaykin, LadyMacbeth, Macbeth, Labpet, SoDarkTheShadows, KingdomOfRats, Siuan, KBABZ, CockneyRebel, Strapples, evilKimevil, KristaMeth..... and the list goes on!
BUT... WHAT IS MY POINT HERE?
HAVE I GONE STARK RAKING MAD?
YOU... have seen the posts....
YOU... have missed the warning signs...
YOU... have forgotten the cardinal rule in forum-etiquette.... "Never read past the first three lines in a post!"
YES I AM MAD AS A HATTER! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..... catch me if you can! But you cannot!
For I have joined forces with one so powerful, so beautiful, so filled with controversy that even I recede into her shadow....
I WILL BE BACK!
MARK MY WORDS!

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fides solus
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