Trying to reach 1000 from where I am...random venting

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I'm totally stressed. This whole court thing is making me stressed. My son just called and said that his dad has been taking his cell phone away from him again. He has a court order that says that he can't do that. He's been told that he's not even allowed to touch the cell phone, and yet here we are. It stresses me out. We've gone almost a year with his dad not ever making my son call me and in fact trying to prevent it at every turn.

Tonight he tells my son he has to call me. What's up with that??! !! I told my son to ask questions. Why now? I hate this situation. It's so unfair and no one wants to help me. The lawyers are slime. I'm so frustrated. I'm a good parent. The judge has let my ex-husband talk him into I am a bad parent because I have AS and I've somehow gotten my son falsely diagnosed with AS. I'm crazy because of all this. What is wrong with this world? I'm so frustrated!! !! !

I can't make anyone listen. I'm not allowed to see my son or visit with him. I'm only allowed to talk to him on the phone. Even then we have to worry about my ex taping all of our phone calls. It's so insane. My life has turned into some horrible morass of going to court and trying to function as a real human and being unable to concentrate on anything except the next court date. It's interfered with every part of my life.

I'm constantly worried about my son. His life has become a series of days of pretending that he's not what he is. Pretending to be the kid that makes his dad happy instead of the kid is happy. The court system is foul and no one cares about children or what makes them good functioning members of society.

I just want to scream.

I know I should say something, but I really don't know what to say...nothing I could say would help.

You don't deserve this.

You're right. There isn't anything that will make this better except, "You can pick up your son and he is back with you".

I'm sitting here on the verge of tears just worrying. I know it won't be helpful. I have that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that says that if I just rock and flap it will all feel better. But it won't.

Just keep talking to me so I feel not so worried.

I don't deserve this. My son doesn't deserve this.

*hugs*
I understand what you're going through (As much as another human could) - well, more like your son's side of it. My father was extremely abusive to me - in more ways then one - and he didn't really pay child support. He also refused to help pay for my braces (my teeth and jaw was so bad that I would have had to have surgery in a year if something wasn't done), even though I WAS ON HIS DENTAL PLAN, and so 75% of it or something like that would have been paid for!
My mom sued his butt off, and now he's finally paying for some of the stuff he did!
I'm sure justice will come eventually, and when it does, it'll feel extra sweet.
I wish the best for you and your son!

When do you pick up your son?

Liverbird, I know it isn't easy, but you'll have to be strong for your son, so he can be strong for you.

I meant that "you can go get your son" is the only thing in the world that will make this whole thing better.

It's not happening.

It's just one of those moments that makes me remember why I divorced that SOB. So, he couldn't do this to me anymore. I spent so long trying to make sure that he doesn't have any control over me, and here he is. He's calling all of the shots and making it such an insane situation.

It shouldn't be this way. I divorced him so that my son and I would never have to live this way. Now, he's having to live that way all the time. Where is the fairness in that? Why did this happen to us? Where is the knight in shining armour when you need him? Where is the functioning justice system when you need it?

Are other people allowed to check on him?

My ex does not let anyone from my side of the family talk to him. Unless they call his cell phone, he is not given messages to call them. My ex is a complete control freak. He's made me and my family sound like axe murderers.