I don't get this

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Does anyone know why it is disrespect to ask how a person has died? I was scolded twice for asking such a question.

It depends, for example if someone has lost a family member they might want to block some details. Answering why their relative has died could bring it all back.

Also some people find it a bit sadistic when others seem overly interested in how someone has died.

Death is scary basically, most people don't like to talk about it.

Maybe because it's rude or they think your are being insensitive. Just my guess.

Exactly. I actually will use the topic of death to end unwanted conversations and annoy rude people.


However, to the OP, you may want to add why you want to know how they died. If you add, you just want to understand because you respected the person, or say, "Look, I care, I feel I have a right to know how he/she died because their memory is important to me and all I have left of them."

If that doesn't work, well, it could be for others reasons. Such as their death happened with something that people view as negative (say drugs or drunk driving).

I dunno. I am not there and don't know anyone involved.

Now I see......I was just a little curious. That was all.

Not sure myself! Thought I was *queen* of the akward questions Never fails..something will come out of my mouth & I think oh dear.....now they think I'm really weird
Then again, in other situations, I'm one of the few who is "bold" enough to ask the question that's on everybody's mind! THEN I get the *looks*

Not being sure if it's rude to ask that question, recently I asked my mother if it really is perceived this way because a week ago our teacher died and if I didn't know about his problems with heart (those probably was a reason of his death) I would ask our another teacher about this. I was simply very curious.

Anyone who claims you're being rude is just being an oversensitive gimp and needs a reality check: Just keep asking, and if they try to stop you then defy them by asking in ever cruder manners.

If they won't tell you how the person died, ask them how they snuffed it instead... and when that doesn't work... start guessing. Ask if they were road-kill, extra-toasty, aspiring to be an oversized sieve... etc.


Teach them the true meaning of "rude", and THEN ask them how the person died.... to put it in context. Don't let them win.

It could also depend on the circumstances of the death. If a man dies of a heart attack while wearing stockings and suspenders in a house of ill-repute then the wife isn't really going to be keen to explain how he died.

(Sorry, I've got a black sense of humour).

Last edited by TallyMan on 15 May 2008, 3:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I try not to ask people loaded questions, like that.