Rant about family

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well I wasn't going to post this rant but I can't sleep and need to get this off my chest - other people have done this and it worked for them so I hope it'll work for me. You don't have to reply if you don't want.

So as you can tell from the name of this thread I am upset at my family. Today hasn't been a very impressing day with them. The only three I'm not mad at are my step-nephew (he's 4 and therefore not really a big factor in today), my little brother (he wasn't even at home), and my grandpa (he also wasn't really around as he stayed outside trying to fix the pump on our pool for almost the whole day).

Began at eight this morning when my sister just barged into my room without knocking and demanded I come out and sit with her to watch the brain drainer (T. V) because she's only here for the weekend which I refused to do. From 7-10 is my me time when I just hang out in my room and get to be alone.

An hour later my older brother (who actually knocked and asked to come in) told me I was watching my nephew and that everyone else except my grandpa were going out to the mall (that's right TOLD) but when I tried to refuse and asked them to take him with them I got called lazy and uncaring and told that I need to learn that it's not all about me, disorder or not, luckily the little guy saw I was upset and told me he wanted me to sit and watch a movie with him in the living room (so I could still watch him but mostly have my me time).

They got home around 3:30 and I had to work at 5, I was suppose to have lots of time before work to shower and get ready but instead had half an hour to get my work clothes together and get ready to walk there (when it's nice I like to walk with music to work), of course my sister tried to convince me to just get a ride (which I promptly refused) and got agitated because of it.

When I got home from work I sat with my grandparents, great aunt and uncle, and some close family friends for a little while then went in my room to put my work clothes away. this is when things got worse - my DVD holder wasn't in it's place so I immediately rushed out to tell them it was stolen only to find out my sister had been bored so MY GRANDMA told her to go get it to watch movies (we have about 100 family DVDs but my collection is much bigger and more diverse) and she had taken it, and my portable DVD player, with her to get my little brother from camp. My laptop had been taken into the den and was open (luckily I password it so no one can get on - thank you suspicious nature) since she had wanted to use it.

So I was feeling a little uncomfortable and sat in the living room playing my little brother and my nintendo DS (which we share) until they got home and I got my stuff back. We then drove my older brother, future S.I.L and sleepy step-nephew home, and I found out that they had given him my green 'poodle' pillow to him to sleep on. NOT IMPRESSED WITH THEM IN THE LEAST but the poor kid was in pain trying to sleep in his car seat so I didn't say anything.

We got home and I made plans with my little brother to get him up in the morning before football training so that he can have breakfast and such. I helped get his stuff all organized and then went in my room only to find my burgundy comforter missing. my future S.I.L had borrowed it for the trip up to camp and forgot to return it - my grandma's response? 'oh it's a warm night, you don't need two comforters. You'll be fine with just the blue one.'

That is not the point, the point is that these are my things - not my sister's, not my grandma's, mine - and they feel the right to just come in and move them or take them and mess up my schedule and tell me to get over it! I can't help that I get upset when they don't ask permission and even though I was at work they could have just taken other things or at least put them back. I realize I'm the only one in the house with warm winter comforters year round and that the rest were stored in the basement but she didn't have to not even inform me! Heck I would've been less upset if they had called my cell and left a message about it. They feel it's alright to enter my room without permission and that bothers me. When I tried to talk to my grandma about it she got angry and told me to deal with it like an adult and to realize that just because I own the things doesn't mean that they're just mine.

Isn't that what it means when I buy things? That they're just mine? That they belong to me and I should have control over what happens to them?

Now I feel depressed and I can't sleep, anyone else had this problem with family? I figured we can all share our rants and maybe feel better about it.

Nope, never experienced these things. My family take things from me, I get irritated only after I can't find it or if they don't give me a good reason as to why they took it; even then I just let them keep it if they do need it. There really is no "me time" when it comes to family. I've realized that I have to do the things they tell me as it is an obligation.


I'm having trouble understanding this part:

It was nice out and at the cost of gas it was pointless to get a ride when I only live a 30 - 45 min walk from work.

Gah your family sounds annoying.

I would be annoyed too if my stuff kept dissapearing or things kept being moved to another spot. Luckily my family respected me so they always asked first. They knew how angry I got if my things were touched. Heck lot of people don't like their stuff being touched or borrowed without asking them first.

Yeah they tend to be.
My sister is very ego-maniacal to the point where she thinks the world is hers. I understand this and try to live with it but we get along best when we're apart, she doesn't understand what autism and AS are nor does she care to learn.
My older brother seems to think because I love my nephew and we share a disorder it's okay to just assume I want to spend my time with him and my F.S.I.L seems to agree with this theory (though she usually gives me the appearance of asking).
My grandma has this theory that I need to learn to be more like my sibbies and then the 'disorder' will go away. She tried to understand and help me for a while then she got annoyed with my panic attacks and my agoraphobia and decided it was too much.
We were raised in different homes and with different rules, plus I'm the only one with A.S.D so it makes understanding them so much harder. Dysfunctional family? I has it.

Well, my observation tells me that your family might perceive you as the one with the ego-trip.

Reasons:
Unwarranted Right to Privacy
Me time
Refusal to be given a ride
Refusal to do what they ask
Refusal to let things go


Take this for an example: My brother borrowed my "new" car without asking to drive to work and to train in MA. Returning home there was a thunderstorm that caused him to lose control, crash, and an idiot decided to run into him as well (ran off) which further totaled my car. I saw my car return home in a flat bed. My response: I just looked at him, looked at my car, looked back at him, shrugged and went back to bed.


Don't let things get to you. They're family, and if you did the same to them they shouldn't hold it against you.

O.o he totaled your car and you said nothing? I would've at least wanted to sit down and talk about it, check if he was alright. And more then likely ask what he thought he was doing driving in those conditions.

I pay to live here and so I should, in theory, be entitled to at least a bit of respect.

My family is the worst thing ever happened to me,
Been like that from the day i was born,
They say they love and miss me very much and I'm sure they really feel that way,
But their presence is killing me,
always was,
Naturally I have a lot of difficulties in my life,
they never raise a finger but some how they tricked themselves to think they r very helpful to me(NT are very good at lying to them selfs),
I don't really mind their uselessness but something in the way they talk to me or treat me make me wish i was dead,
been agonizing over that for years but can't put my finger on what it is,
perhaps they r close to the spectrum but very frightened and ashamed by that so they killing them self and in the process also killing me,
the only good thing about my family is that i see them once a year or less.