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cubedemon6073
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07 Dec 2008, 6:26 pm

Let's say any of you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife,etc and they are NTs. These NT significant others just do stuff for you like make dinner for you without asking if you want any dinner that night. To me, this is imposing on me and forcing dinner down my throat. What if I'm not feeling well that night, I'm not really that hungry or I just want something light that night.

This could be your parents too.

I understand they're trying to be nice and loving.

How do any of you feel about this?



HaliaTotheres
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07 Dec 2008, 6:32 pm

I'm an NT but I always ask if I can help first. Mainly because I have a hard time eating infront of people(a really hard time, it took me like six months to eat infront of my best friend) so I understand not everyone wants to eat at the same time. There are little things I do for people though, like cleaning off their car if it snowed, or stuff like that, I don't ask to do those things, I just do them :P.

edit:
I know you know they're just trying to be nice, so, since you do know that, they're 100% not trying to make you eat if you don't want to, they're imposing accidentally and are unawares. you could speak to your significant other about being asked, and maybe they can bring it up privately at a different time and in different circumstances where it would be handled in a gentle manner. Just don't feel bad, I always feel like I have to take a courtesy bite and I do even if i hate spinich or something.



ImTheGuyThatDidThat
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07 Dec 2008, 6:42 pm

Those are the exact resons why i made some
grey hairs on my mothers head, i stopped
participating in dinners and follow regular
dinnertimes when i was very very young.
Not that i wasn`t thankful that i was given
food, i just had real trouble eating when
forced to eat outside those routines i felt natural,
and its important to eat well. And after a while i
saw more and more that there was no real need
for it to be so, just tradition, it had little to do with
food and nutrition. So i started eating according to
my "schedule", i saw no harm as long as it didnt
hurt anyone or cause anything bad. Now i eat when
i get hungry and i eat around every 3 hours from i
get up until around 20:00, or when it fits, it varies.
Have had no problems, i`m a grown man in regular
shape and have been doing it like this for over two
decades now. One important thing, i explained to
those it concerned why and that it had nothing to do
with them or the food they made. It was simply
something i had to do to be able to eat well and
enjoy the food a little.



claire-333
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07 Dec 2008, 6:48 pm

You will never hear me complain about coming home to someone other than me cooking dinner. Come to think of it, when I am cooking I do not going around the house taking request either. No one is ever forced to eat. If they do not like it, there is always other food in the house...same goes for me.



IdahoRose
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07 Dec 2008, 7:13 pm

Well, my mom likes changing my bedsheets and cleaning my room for me, but I secretly feel really mad at her when she does that. I know my room gets really messy, but I prefer to clean it on my own time.



HaliaTotheres
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07 Dec 2008, 7:16 pm

Omgosh, I hate stuff like that too, it makes me feel bad, like they did it because they reached the end of their rope and were just going to do it themselves x.x . but I know that that's not the case.



Moop
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07 Dec 2008, 7:25 pm

I don't like when my mom goes to buy food without me. I always have to plan meals for the week and buy the food. (I always feel she might mess up)



ImTheGuyThatDidThat
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07 Dec 2008, 7:53 pm

Oh, i forgot something, i read about moms here..
If my mom really wants to meet, sit down and eat
for example, i do that, i`m not completly set in my
ways, i can be flexibel.

And when it comes to moms..i`m sure that my mom
would make my bed, tuck me in a night and fix me
breakfest if she got the chance :) and i`m grown,
i could pick that little gray lady up with one hand, but
in her eyes i will always be a little boy :lol:, her little
boy i guess, think its just the way it is and i`m sure it
will be the same if she`s still around in 20 years. In
a way i like it, it can be funny to hear and see her go
into mom-mode, suddenly she forgets that i`m not 13
anymore and when she looks up at me from a foot down
with a "are you listening to me"-look i cant help but smile :lol: