Fart in an elevator LOL & Other Funny Songs

Post Reply New Topic

Second floor, food court. Burrito barn, house of dairy, broccoli palace... Oh, good afternoon, Mr. Cheesecutter. How was your...lunch?
Heh heh heh heh heh heh (fart) Ooh. (fart) Whoa - (fart) Ohh.

Yeah!
For lunch I had a bean burrito (Whoa)
And then I had a milkshake (Oh yeah)
Then I had a bowl of chili (Whoa)
I think it was a mistake (Oh no)
I think my lunch is stuck
Somewhere in my gut
And now I got these toxic fumes
Comin' out of my butt (fart)

Fart in an elevator
Stinkin' it up when I'm goin' down
Fart in an elevator
Turnin' the air from clear to brown

Why did I eat those nachos (Whoa)
And those pork and beans? (Oh yeah)
Topped it off with egg salad (Whoa)
Blew a hole in my blue jeans (Oh no)
The fumes are getting worse
Nobody gets out alive
Smells like some kind of animal
Crawled up my butt and died (fart)

Fart in an elevator
Stinkin' it up when I'm goin' down
Fart in an elevator
Takin' a ride incense around
Gimme air gimme air
There's a skidmark in my underwear
Fart in an elevator
Feel like a turd but it won't come down

Smells like hell

Fart in an elevator
Stinkin' it up when I'm goin' down
Fart in an elevator
Turning the air from clear to brown

None of my thoughts are silent (Eww)
I make a life stinker (P.U.)
Sounds like I got a foghorn (Eww)
Blowin' in my sphincter (P.U.)
People are throwin' up (Whoa)
Somebody say it blasts (Oh yeah)
Everybody in here with me (Whoa)
Wish they took a stairs (fart)

Fart in an elevator
Stinkin' it up when I'm goin' down
Fart in an elevator
Feel like a turd but it won't come down
Gimme air gimme air
Cause this fart's so bad it singed my hair
Fart in an elevator
Stinkin' it up when I'm goin' down
Gimme air gimme air
There's a skidmark in my underwear
Fart in an elevator
Stinkin' it up when I'm goin' down
Gimme air gimme air
Gimme air gimme air
Fart in an elevator
Stinkin' it up when I'm goin' down... (fart)

no its by Wierd Al

Elmo's got a gun
Elmo's got a gun
Big Bird's on the run
Ernie's dialing 9-1-1

What made Elmo snap?
Was he tired of Big Bird's crap?

They say when
Elmo was arrested
They found that
Oscar's head was in the trash

I hear that Gordon's
really runnin'
now that Elmo's got a gun
the street is never gonna
be the same

Elmo's got a gun
Elmo's got a gun
Grover's head has come undone
Sesame street's not real fun

[Chorus]
Eew! Don't touch that!
[Regular voice]
Oooh! Don't touch that
You don't know where it's been
Don't touch wet paint
Don't touch that dial
[Old man]
A rotten egg? Yecch, don't touch that!
Never touch yellow snow
Not even with a ten-foot pole
[Droopy]
Never touch food that glows
Or Doctor Demento
Yes, don't touch that!
[Bullwinkle]
Hey, watch me pull
A rabbit from my hat
Wait, that's not a rabbit
Oooh! Don't touch that
[Bill Cosby]
When you find lumps in your puddin' pops
Don't touch 'em, they're not cool
[?]
Don't stick your finger in the ear
Of a fat chick at school
[Goofy]
Gawrsh, never touch anything
That's dragged in by the cat
[Kid voice]
Greasy grimy gopher guts
Eeew, don't touch that!
[Cheech]
Hey man, don't touch my ol' lady!
[Swishy voice]
You can lookee, but no touchee!
[Sexy woman]
Oooh! Don't touch me there!
[?]
Don't touch milk if it's crunchy
[Old lady]
Never sit on a wet seat
[?]
Don't touch it (like) that woman in heat
[French accent]
Aaah, (Speaking French)
Get away from my weed whackers!
Don't touch that!
[Fussy voice]
Never touch a tissue
That's rolled up in a ball
[Eddie Murphy]
Never touch the gummy gums
Of Arsenio Hall
[Apu]
Welcome to 7-Eleven
Don't touch the Slurpee machine
[Ernest]
Hey, I wouldn't touch that pit bull
That's foamin' at the mouth
Know what I mean?
[Group]
Never touch the wart
On Aunt Martha's chin
Never touch what's on you
When you sneeze in the wind
Ah-choo!
[Dracula]
Good evening
Don't touch the blood
From a vampire bat
[Hysterical giggling]
Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha
Don't touch that!
[Rapper]
Don't play catch
With a scuzzball
Don't pick bugs
From your windshield
Don't touch a slug
Or a hairball
[Group]
Oooh! Don't touch that
[Reagan]
Uh, well, I wouldn't touch it
If I could remember what it was for
[Godfather]
Last guy who touched this
He ain't around no more
[W C Fields]
Ah yes, you haven't had tequila
Until you get the worm
[Jewish]
I don't think a worm is kosher
It's schmutz!
Don't touch that
[Group]
Eeew, ee-eeew, ee-eeew, ee-eeew!
Oooh!
Eeew, ee-eeew, ee-eeew, ee-eeew!
Yecch!
[Valley girl]
Oh my god that's cowabunga dude!
Don't touch that!
[Clint Eastwood]
Go ahead, make my day
Touch that!
[Pee Wee Herman]
Uh oh! Honk honk!
Don't touch that, ha ha ha (crash!)
[Engineer]
Okay, we're ready for take ninety-nine in here
Uh, don't touch that button please
[Another voice]
Hic! You mean this button here?
[Engineer]
Yeah, that big red button...DON'T TOUCH THAT!
[Voice]
What happens if, Hic! I touch this button here?
[Engineer]
No! Not that button! Please! DON’T TOUCH THAT!

(knock, knock, knock)
-Hey, let me in I gotta Go!
-Wait didn't you just Go like, a half an hour ago?
-Yeah, but I gotta go again!

Oh, no!
Got a girl with a really small bladder,
knocking on the bathroom door.
Busted in and she bearly made it,
she dribbled on the bathroom floor.
She would not believe me,
when I said: "Go before We leave"
We had bearly started drivin',
when she told me she's got to Pee.

When I try to drive I see her drink a bottle water
Always has to wizz and she wonders why I'm bothered
When she says "Pull Over!" she means, what she's sayin'
Runs to the bathroom just before she starts her sprayin'
You'd think a grown woman would have a better controll
A little "number one" shouldn't be so hard to hold
But she goes about a hundred times a day,
Meanwhile I stand outside the bathroom and I wait!

In the middle of the movie,
She gotta Pee
Everytime we start drivin'
She gotta Pee
She even did it in the shower
She gotta Pee
She's gotta go every hour!
She gotta Pee
Wakes me up while I'm sleapin'
She gotta Pee
To the toilet, she's a creapin'
She gotta Pee
We Go out to dinner
She gotta Pee
Sometimes her friends go with her.

Got a girl with a really small bladder,
knocking on the bathroom door.
Busted in and she bearly made it,
she dribbled on the bathroom floor.
She would not believe me,
when I said: "Go before We leave"
We had bearly started drivin',
when she told me she's got to Pee.

In his eyes,

I´m full grown

29 and still at home

Raid the fridge
Feed my face

I´m a sun thats a disgrace



Living free

Don´t pay rent

Brought the car back with a dent

I´m asleep

counting sheep

thought I heard him scream again



a**hole sun, your a bum

You trashed the car again

a**hole sun, what a bum, what a bum

a**hole sun, mow the lawn

And put your cloths away

a**hole sun, what a bum, what a bum

(a**hole sun, a**hole sun)

What a bum

(a**hole sun, a**hole sun)

What a bum

(a**hole sun, a**hole sun)

...

Happened one day in the studio
Dancing around in a do-si-do
The purple monstrosity was waving his arms
We were falling victim to his evil charms
He brushed against a candle and he started to smoke
And now we're all laughing at the dinosaur joke

Oh boy, Barney's on fire!
It's what we've always desired
We'll watch the flames get higher
Just don't try to put him out

[kids sayin "kill him" in the background]
Purple fur was flying ashes everywhere
And all of the kids just continued to stare
The guy inside the suit, he started to yell
We probably should've helped him but what the hell
He threw himself violently against the wall
He fell to his knees and he tried to crawl away

Oh Boy, Barney's on fire!
This is our secret desire
We'll hell the flames burn higher
Just don't try to put him out

("break it down for me fellas!")

Barney: I love you...you love me

(Barney Screaming)

Oh boy, Barney's on fire!
This is what we've always desired
Want your help but stand the flames higher
And you better not try to put him out..

Barney's no longer ignited
We're feeling somewhat slighted
He's laying in a heap on the floor
We poked him with a stick cause we had to be sure he was dead.

man: ooohhh, what is the malted liquor, what gets you drunker quicker,
what comes in bottles or in cans…
men: BEER!

man: cant get enough of it…
men: BEER!
man: how we really love it…
men: BEER!
man: makes me think i'm a man…
men: BEER!

man: i can kiss and hug it…
men: BEER!
man: but i'd rather chug it…
men: BEER!
man: got my belly up to here…
men: BEER!

man: i cannot refuse a…
men: BEER!
man: i could really use a…
men: BEER, BEER BEER!

men: BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER

drunk man: i cant remember how much I have had, i drank a twelve pack with my dad.
drunk father: (burp) thats my son the drunken manley stud, im proud to call him my bud.
drunk man: here, have some pretzels
drunk father: no, i'll call it quits, those things give me the Schlitz
drunken man: ha ha ha.

men: drink with your family, drink it with your friends
man: drink till your fat , stomach distends,
beer, is liquid bread its good for you,
men: we like to drink till we spew, ew
men: who cares if we get fat
man: i'll drink to that
man: as we sing once more…

man: what is the malted liquor, what gets you drunker quicker,
what comes in bottles or in cans…
men: BEER!

man: cant get enough of it…
men: BEER!
man: how we really love it…
men: BEER!
man: makes me think i'm a man…
men: BEER!

man: i can kiss and hug it…
men: BEER!
man: but i'd rather chug it…
men: BEER!
man: fill my belly up to here…
men: BEER!

man: golly I adore it, come on damn it, pour it,
do it for me brew it for me, feed it to me speed it to me,
men: BEER!
man: the most wonderful drink in the world, hooray!

(Burp)

Your butt is wide, well mine is too
Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you
The word is out, better treat me right
'Cause I'm the king of cellulite
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right
My zippers bust, my buckles break
I'm too much man for you to take
The pavement cracks when I fall down
I've got more chins than Chinatown
Well, I've never used a phone booth
And I've never seen my toes
When I'm goin' to the movies
I take up seven rows
Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on you know
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
Don'tcha call me pudgy, portly or stout
Just now tell me once again who's fat
When I walk out to get my mail
It measures on the Richter scale
Down at the beach I'm a lucky man
I'm the only one who gets a tan
If I have one more pie a la mode
I'm gonna need my own zip code
When you're only having seconds
I'm having twenty-thirds
When I go to get my shoes shined
I gotta take their word
Because I'm fat, I'm fat, sha mone
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it you know
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
And my shadow weighs forty-two pounds
Lemme tell you once again who's fat
If you see me comin' your way
Better give me plenty space
If I tell you that I'm hungry
Then won't you feed my face
Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
Woo woo woo, when I sit around the house
I really sit around the house
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know it
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
You know, you know, you know, come on
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
And you know all by myself I'm a crowd
Lemme tell you once again
You know I'm huge, I'm fat, you know it
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
You know I'm fat, you know, hoo
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
And the whole world knows I'm fat and I'm proud
Just tell me once again who's fat

It feels like I've been alone too long
With no girls around, my mind was wondering
Thinking of some way to release it
I looked in the kitchen, saw some Crisco oil
And that's when my blood started to boil, oh oh yeh.

Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, uh-oh
Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, oh god, what did I just do?

No one wanted to be with me
Had to make my dream come true
I wanted to hump something
I didn't know what to do.
It seemed like a good idea
And no one else was around
I stuck my weenie in a bottle,
And now I can't get it out.

(I stuck my weenie in a bottle today
got it stuck up in there all the way, yeah.
I stuck my weenie in a bottle oh no,
I can't, I can't, someone come help me out.)

It's turning purple, all the feelings gone
Now where did I put that freaking phone
Dialing 911

Please pick up, I'm in a lot of pain
This was supposed to feel good
Now I'm suffering, oh please answer...
(Denver 911- what is your emergency?)

Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, (hello)
Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, (sir, what seems to be the problem?)

No one wanted to be with me
Had to make my dream come true
I wanted to hump something
I didn't know what to do...(go on)
It seemed like a good idea
And no one else was around
I stuck my weenie in a bottle,
And now I can't get it out.

(You stuck your weenie in a bottle, oh my
you must be a really lonely, guy.
You stuck your weenie in a bottle, that's the first
Don't worry sir, we're sending somebody out.)

(No one wanted to be with him
Had to make his dream come true
He wanted to hump something)
I didn't know what to do.

(It seemed like a good idea
And no one else was around
He stuck his weenie in a bottle)
And now I can't get it out.

Stuck my weenie in a bottle today
Now, now, now I can't get it out.

thats funny right there

Philosopher's Beer Drinking Song - Monty Python

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'bout the raisin' of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away,
'alf a crate of whiskey every day!
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
and Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
"I drink, therefore I am."

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed