Bumber Sticker Logic

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U. S. Military Bumper Stickers:

"Martyrs or Marines -- Who Do you Think Will Get The Virgins?"

" U.S. Army -- Travel Agent To Allah"

"Stop Global Whining"

"When In Doubt, Empty The Magazine"

"The Marine Corps -- When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Destroyed Overnight"

"Death Smiles At Everyone -- Soldiers Smile Back"

"What Do You Feel When You Kill A Terrorist? ... A Reassuring Recoil"

"Soldiers & Marines -- Providing Enemies Of America An Opportunity To Die For their Country Since 1775"

"My Marine Can Pick Off Your Honor Student at a Klick and a Half"

"Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It"

"Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon"

"It's God's Job to Forgive Bin Laden -- It's Our Job To Arrange The Meeting"

"Artillery Brings Dignity To What Would Otherwise Be Just A Brawl"

"One Shot, Twelve Kills -- U. S. Artillery"

"If Draft Dodgers Have Reunions, What Do They Talk About?"

"My kid fought in Iraq so yours can party in college"

"Travel To Exotic Places, Meet New People, Then Kill Them"

"Machine Gunners -- Accuracy By Volume"

"A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy -- Blessed Be The Peacemakers"

"Guns Don't Kill People -- I Kill People"

"If You Can Read, Thank A Teacher. If You Can Read It In English, Thank A Soldier"

"Except For Ending Fascism, Nazism, and Communism, WAR has Never Solved Anything"

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Hoo-ah!


ruveyn

I remember one that went:

"Nuke 'em till they glow...
then shoot 'em in the dark."

14 General Orders of the United State Marine Corps:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.

3. Have a plan.

4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.

5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet ­ even your friends...

6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."

7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)

9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

14. There is no 'Overkill'; there is only 'Empty the Clip' and 'Reload.'

That about covers it.

Saw this on a car once:
"Insured by the mafia. You hit me we hit you"

Navy Bumper Stickers:

"There Are Only Two Types of Ships in the Navy - Submarines and Targets"

"The U.S. Navy - So Your Marines Never Have to Swim Home"

"If You Can Read This, Then My CIWS Can See You Too!"*

"Ladys Love Submarines Because They're Long, Hard, & Full of Seamen"

"N.A.V.Y. - Never Again Volunteer Yourself"

"Navy Rules: 1 - Go to Sea. 2 - Drink Coffee. 3 - Deploy Marines."



(* - C.I.W.S. stands for Close In Weapons System. Imagine R2D2 with a gatling gun in his belly.)

Which is also reflected in Rule 36 from The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates, in the webcomic Schlock Mercenary. (Other rules include "Everything is air-droppable at least once," "Close Air Support covereth a multitude of sins," and "If violence was not your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.")