Scripted phrases and comebacks

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Share scripted answers to phrases commonly spoken. Ask for a scripted response to questions or phrases too.


Here are a few-

1. If someone says "What's up?"

Point up and say "that way."


2. Omg like your shirt is sooo 2007 (or insert any other year)

"Omg that saying is sooo 2003"



Your turn.

lmao, #1 is sooooo dorky.

I'm fond of "that's what she said." It is very versatile.

Also, "your mom ______"
Like, if my room mate says "I want a baked potato"
Well, "your mom is a baked potato"
Because it can continue "your cat", "your face", etc.

Not very mature.

but fun.

"Such is life"

"I like this game"

Person 1: Would you mind if [insert action here]?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Oh fine, so-
Person 2: Yes, I would mind.

And my favourite in those 'twist a wish' threads...

Person 1: I wish I could do [insert action action here]
Person 2: Granted, you could, but now you can't.

I like this one:

-"That's so annoying! Oh God!! !!"
-"Yes?"

my favorit reply to "Oh my God" is "Oh /your/ God?" I didn't know people were just creating their own gods nowadays"

lol when people say "Oh my god" i look around desperately. asking "where?"
a silly one but, in your response to "Yo mama" use " leave my mama out of this & i'll leave this (gesticulation needed) out of yo mama"

"what up?"

"the sky"

#0: "No-one likes a snitch"
#1: <some random comment>
#2: "Just you wait!"
#1: to #0: "They're promising to threaten me!"

I used this yesterday

#2: "I'm not promising, I'm threatening"
#1: to #0: "Now, they're threatening to promise me!"

A continuation I also used

good ones.

1. "I beg to differ"

"I don't see you begging."

Head will roll...

Response: Only when the table is tilted.

If someone calls me a b***h I'll use either of the following:

'Yes, I'm a b***h. An Alsatian, to be precise.'

or:

'Yeah, and I have dangerous canine teeth.'

"A b***h is a female dog, dogs bark, bark grows on trees, trees are in nature and nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment."

"what up?"

my ----- when I see your mom That one is fun to use

At school if a kid shouted "Oh my God" one of the teacher's always replied with "I'm flattered you consider me your God, but please get on with your work."