ODD thought!

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Did this ever happen to anyone? Recently I lost a friend and confidant to adult onset leukemia.
During my grief I felt compelled to call my (deceased) friend on the phone to tell her that she died. I also had very little sleep before this happened.
Is this a denial/grief reaction? My mind was racing and I had to put on the breaks. I felt selfish and ashamed about my thinking. Was it because I felt so used to calling her in times of trouble that I was in denial of her "own" death? Is it because of the lack of friends in my life? This felt soooo weird! Had I become sooo dependent that I lost myself to irrational thinking?

I just lost a friend to prion disease.
It's quite disturbing to lose someone to disease.
I felt that here we are in the 21st century and yet we're all at the mercy of disease.