Women, what did it feel like to lose your virginity?

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lonelyLady
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07 Oct 2008, 2:14 pm

Taly wrote:

I am 21 and virgin and this kind of stuff scares me a lot. This pain... I mean is it really that painfull?

It's not painful when you really want it, but it can be painful or uncomfortable if you are nervous and you try to force it on yourself. Just do it when you're ready and really want it. It's also better to do it with someone who cares about you--let's face it, most men are selfish pigs, so unless he cares about you, chances are he won't give a damn about what feels good for you.

Triangular_Trees
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07 Oct 2008, 4:40 pm

I think you'd have to be engaging in some pretty strange and ridiculous foreplay for this to be considered anything resembling an accident

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musicforanna
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08 Oct 2008, 1:47 am

my experience with my first time...
... was a bad one. :lol:

First of all, neither I, nor my boyfriend had any experience. Both of us were virgins, and that's okay, but it still hurt like a b****. Two. I think foreplay would've helped a lot, because I wasn't all that aroused and I just told him okay, and aside from being not all that aroused, I think we should've at least used some lube. Three. Huge size difference. :oops: He's kinda, um... *whispers* really big. And of course, I was um, really not. I remember the first time I tried to insert a super tampon when I was in high school, I cried something ridiculous. It was horrible. Obviously this size difference did not enhance our experience. Four. Choice of positions. Naturally, my boyfriend favors grabbing the hips/butt and getting all animalistic, so you could imagine which one he wanted to do (big mistake because my poor vagina wasn't ready for that craziness). Until you heal up and your body gets used to it, I suggest sticking to the positions where you and him are facing each other-- it helps because those positions are ones where he'll "fit" better.

In the end, it burned like a sharp nail dragging down the back of my arm, I bled for several days (then got it back to back with my period :roll: ), and I was sore for weeks. But I recovered.

Anemone
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08 Oct 2008, 8:14 am

madderakka wrote:

Anemone wrote:

Paying for sex is a bad idea. Most escorts/prostitutes are in bad shape, because the average human being (both sexes) is really not designed to be used that way (impersonally). You'd be better off looking around for someone who's popular with women who'll have fun with you for free. Some guys are good at making it fun for women, if all you want is the sex. Not very many guys, but there are some.

How is an escort more impersonal than casual sex? At least with an escort, you know he would want to please you. I've never used an escort, just curious.

People don't normally have one-night stands five times a night, five or more days a week. Casual sex is more personal than that, because it's a one-off (you decide who, you decide if or when), rather than assembly line sex. With an escort, you're paying him/her to do what you want, regardless of whether he/she is comfortable with it or not. He/she has no real control (though male escort with female customer may be safest combo e.g. less risk of assault/murder). Both male and female prostitutes have high rates of PTSD.

Basically, I was trying to find a tactful way of saying that prostitution is sexual abuse. It causes the same damage that child sexual abuse does. Please stay away from it. It's a human rights abuse.

I don't want to hijack this thread. Google "prostitution research" or check out your library if you want to know more.

dawndeleon
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13 Oct 2008, 11:12 pm

I was a newlywed and nervous, so it didnt help any and i was tense. It did hurt a little, but kind of like if you ever racked yourself on a bike.. kind of that feeling that makes you suck in a little. Its tolerable for some. I didnt react so well, but had i known how much less it hurt than i expected, I wouldnt have been so scared. After that, well.... much better as you go. After the initial break, its not too bad. Kinda nice. Especially when you are reallly in the mood and clothes and awkwardness seem to fly by the wayside.

AngryReptileKeeper
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15 Oct 2008, 3:13 pm

It was no big deal for me. No pain. In fact, it wasn't even terribly enjoyable (thanks, Paxil :roll: ). I'm one of those women who didn't have a hymen. Not to mention previous years of "self gratification". :lol:

daysleeper
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16 Oct 2008, 6:44 am

CleverKitten wrote:

Uhmmm.... I don't know whether I should post this in the Adult forum or not, but....

I recently lost my virginity to my fiancé a couple of days ago by accident. He was just sliding between my lubricated thighs, and then he shifted position ever so slightly. Suddently, his penis slipped and he thrusted hard into me, making me feel a very sharp pain that made me scream out loud.
We stopped immediately and he inspected my vagina, and saw that I was bleeding. I still hurt for the next hour or so. For the next day and a half, I found it painful to sit a certain way.

Today, it still feels tender to the touch, and when we inspected it today, it looked like we had torn something other than the hymen.

Since the accident, we have completely refrained from any sexual activity.

Uhmmm, so now I am asking, did it hurt when you lost your virginity? And if it did hurt, how long did it continue to hurt afterwards?

I want to know whether this pain is normal, or if we really did something wrong.

I find it difficult to believe that was an accident.

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16 Oct 2008, 7:56 am

daysleeper wrote:

I find it difficult to believe that was an accident.

Accident or not, the problem has been happily resolved.

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LifeOfTheSpectrum
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18 Oct 2008, 1:30 pm

musicforanna wrote:

Until you heal up and your body gets used to it, I suggest sticking to the positions where you and him are facing each other-- it helps because those positions are ones where he'll "fit" better.

You're post made me giggle, but in a good way, not in the fact it hurt.

I was wondering, how can a man and a woman NOT have sex facing each other, apart from anal? I mean, the penis and vagina are both at the front, and he'd have to have a MASSIVE, FLEXIBLE penis to be able to do it from any other location. O.O

Any, I'm male, 14, and an Autie, you can assume I'm a virgin.

CleverKitten
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18 Oct 2008, 3:20 pm

LifeOfTheSpectrum wrote:

musicforanna wrote:

Until you heal up and your body gets used to it, I suggest sticking to the positions where you and him are facing each other-- it helps because those positions are ones where he'll "fit" better.

Actually, I find it very uncomfortable to attempt penetration while me and my fiancé are face-to-face. Something with the positioning is a little off, I think. We've tried and tried, but it doesn't work that way for us.

It fits so much better when he tries from behind.

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musicforanna
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18 Oct 2008, 5:26 pm

LifeOfTheSpectrum wrote:

musicforanna wrote:

Until you heal up and your body gets used to it, I suggest sticking to the positions where you and him are facing each other-- it helps because those positions are ones where he'll "fit" better.

Well, there are other positions, like "doggy style" (which I was referring to by my 'animalistic' comment, you know, how 4 legged animals do it, involves some bending over on her behalf), "reverse cowboy" (woman on top facing his feet) and stuff like that (I think there's even a side one, where she puts one leg in the air, but it'd probably make my butt ache because I'm not as flexible as I used to be :lol:

). It can fit, considering the vagina does allow some flexibility in itself as long as she's not tense and that she's thoroughly aroused. But positions like those not the natural fit where the normal penis completely fits the contour of the vagina.

I myself won't even consider doing anal. My boyfriend has OCD, so you can just imagine that his take on it aligns with mine.

Last edited by musicforanna on 18 Oct 2008, 5:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

musicforanna
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18 Oct 2008, 5:30 pm

CleverKitten wrote:

There is a syndrome, and I can't think of the name of it, where there are guys here and there, who have penises that curve downward instead of up. Maybe he has this syndrome, or your vagina is shaped the other way (never heard of that happening except in 4-legged animals, but I suppose that could be another explanation).

Anemone
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18 Oct 2008, 9:36 pm

If it's stress rather than anatomy, thrusting from behind puts pressure on the pelvis (bone) rather than on possibly tight muscles, so it can be less painful/stressful for him to enter from behind.

richardbenson
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27 Nov 2008, 3:29 pm

hurts at first but then it feels better after a few times

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Kilroy
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27 Nov 2008, 3:35 pm

you've had gay sex? :s:

richardbenson
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27 Nov 2008, 3:39 pm

no. and your not funny kilroy, it was what i was told by a women online :lol:

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