Interview for Female Aspies

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Just wanted to drop in and thank everyone for filling this out! It's been very helpful so far, though I haven't really seen a need to expand anymore on any questions lately. Thanks again for your time and helping me figure out what needs to go in the book!

Screening Questions (these are just used so I can group demographics together and hopefully flesh out my charater)


1- AGE: 16
2- FOUND OUT ABOUT ASPERGER'S AT AGE: 15



About the diagnosis:

HOW I HEARD ABOUT ASPERGER'S: I heard about AS when I was searching into 'Social Anxiety Disorder'- I thought I had this instead of AS because most of the symptoms are cross-linked.



Life Before Asperger's:

1- LIFE BEFORE DIAGNOSIS (HOW I SAW MYSELF): Extremely shy, lack of self-esteem, odd, unique, highly intelligent, mature (immature at times), obsessive with certain things, different to others


2- STRUGGLED WITH: Eye contact, meeting new people, subjects like, maths and art, public speaking, small talk, conversations with people, working out others intentions



Life After Asperger's Diagnosis/Suspected diagnosis

1- FUNCTIONING LEVEL AFTER DIAGNOSIS: I never changed because I haven't yet been officially diagnose. Though, after discovering I most likely have it, I have still remained the same as before I knew about it; I feel a lot more awkward than previous, however it feels nice not to have to hide my true personality, anymore.


2- HOW I VIEW MYSELF: I still feel different to others, but it's a relief that I can understand why I act the way I do, and my friends seem to be able to understand me more too.


3- STRUGGLES IN THE PRESENT: Eye contact, deviating from special interests (I tend to slack with school work and exams on subjects I'm not interested in, reading non-verbal cues, understanding sarcasm, jokes, humor etc., vagueness (using my imagination, answering poorly described question), sensory issues, being misunderstood


4- FEMALE ASPIES TEND TO...: have 'less abnormal' obsessions/special interests that male aspies, be better at hiding/masking their difficulties than male aspies; they seem to be good at pretending (faking a persona)


5- How important is gender to you? Do you relate more to males or female NT's? other aspies? Other people with other types of disabilities/issues :

Gender is not important to me; I do not like gender stereotypes i.e. girls like the colour pink, boys like sports like football (soccer) etc. I get on well with mostly boys because they usually share my hobbies and interests. I also get on with some girls- ones that are similar to myself and are understanding of the fact that not every person is NT. I tend to get on with people with disabilities and issues; I get on well with my half-brother who has ADHD, my best friend is probable ADHD, my other friend has anxiety issues and self-harms.


6- How do you view asperger's and how it relates to your life?

I view it as a gift- not a curse, as some say...I embrace the concept of neurodiversity and don't thin there should be a cure for autism; no one should be made to fit society's definition of "normal." AS relates to my life in many was for example, without it I don't think I would do as well in my studies at school. AS also motivates me to use my brain more, to expand my knowledge on complex subjects in the world, today.


6a- Do you see Asperger's as a disability- or as the next step in human evolution? (or somewhere inbetween)

As mentioned in above, I see Asperger's as a gift. I don't believe in human evolution, but I believe in brain development over time and developing as more intelligent beings, so with that I do see Asperger's as the 'push' needed to ensure the success of the human race in the future; Asperger's allows individuals to put in the intense focus they need to succeed in their chosen feed/topic etc.


6b- Do you see Asperger's as defining your life or just a part of it?

AS defines my entire life; the way I interact with people, my daily routine, my special interests and hobbies, my future career choices, the way I think...without it, I would have a life, and I frankly wouldn't be ME.


6c- Are there parts of being an Aspie you love?

Like mentioned above, I love the fact that I can focus so much on things I chose to pursue. I also love that I'm unique; there is nobody like me and that every Aspie has their own gifts and talents that they can be proud of.


6d- You said you are good at organizing and making stuff- do your "aspie-bilities" make up for your weaknesses in your oppinion?

I'm not good at organizing things or making stuff, but I do believe my "aspie-bilities" make up for my weakess (i.e. in social situations).


7- What's your "aspie-talent" if you have one? If you don't- does it bother you that most people assume all aspies have such "super-talent?"

My knowledge of the world; countries, places, cities, cultures, religions, ancient civillisations.
My mind capacity for learning the basics of languages
My knowledge of facts
Self-taught skills i.e. playing the drums, Spanish language, Hebrew alphabet


8- What do you think about children and parenting? Would you want children if you didn't know about Asperger's/weren't diagnosed? Do you want them now?

I would love to have children in the future- reguardless of me having Asperger's and the possibility of my children having it, aswell.


8a- Does your diagnosis play into how you feel about having children?

Same as above


8b- Do you feel capable of being a mother to someone- now or in the future?

I do feel capable of being a mother (in the future); any person is capable of being a mother and Asperger's doesn't hinder that ability in anyway.


8c- Are you afraid of having kids? Either the responsibility of another life to look after or that you "can't" do it for sensitivity/practical/sensory reasons?

As any woman would be, yes I am afraid of having children. However, AS has nothing to do with why I am afraid.


8d- What do you think might be the biggest challenge a woman might face as an aspie in reguards to parenting that wouldn't effect nt-mothers the same way?

Dealing with sensory issues i.e. babies crying, changing nappies (diapers) etc.
The possibility of having a child with Asperger's; finding ways to satisfy your child's needs and helping them to reach developmental milestones.


9- Do you have good aspie friends? non-aspie friends? If not when was the last time you had a good friend and does it bother you that you don't have one?

As mentioned in question 5, I have a lot of two somewhat-close non-aspie friends at school. At school, there is a Aspergirl that I get on with. To be honest, friendships don't really bother me; while I'm at school is the only time I see and interact with them. However, when I'm not at school I am content (and quite relieved) to not be socializing with them because social situations in general, make me tired and anxious- plus, I have a lot of my own additional problems to deal with.


10- Are you "girly"? Do you wear make-up? Bother with getting "gussied up"? Do you do it for you or for others? Are there parts of personal hygene that make no sense to you/you struggle with?

I'm not girly; hate skirts, dresses, make up, fancy hairstyles, nail varnish (except plain black varnish). I don't 'gussy up' for anyone; I only do when I'm forced by my parents etc. Although, I do wear perfume and earings (studs only).

Personal hygeine is fine for me, however when I'm have my monthly cycle because of my sensory issues, I get paranoid that I smell bad ; I have to therefore carry body spray in my school bag.


11- Do you make up your own words? Can you give me a feew examples of these if so and how you came up with them?

I don't make up my own words, however I used to call vegetarian spaghetti (without meat) that I used to eat, "TOMSPAG"- the portmanteau of the words 'tomato' and 'spaghetti.'

1- How old are you now? 27
2- How old were you when you heard of asperger's/were diagnosed? I don't have a diagnosis, but about a year ago a guy who I've recently met in a new job told me "we all think you have Aspergers"

About the diagnosis:
How did you hear of Asperger's/get your diagnosis? Probably some Tv character was an aspie and that's the way I knew existed. My "self-diagnosis" came when I found the AQ test, and then the EQ test, etc


Life Before Asperger's:

1- Describe to me how you viewed yourself pre-diagnosis: Like a freak. As plain as that.
Obsessions, depressions, wierd behavior, creepy memory, people asking me why didn't look at them in the eye, etc.

2- What did you struggle with most? Social interaction. One of my first times with my psychiatrist she asked me "what do you want from therapy". I aswered "I want to be lovable".

Life After Asperger's Diagnosis/Suspected diagnosis

1- Did you functioning level change after diagnosis? I'm still waiting for my psychiatrist to call me back to get a diagnosis.

2- How do you view yourself now/right after diagnosis? Like a freak, but not an alone one. I'm special.

3- What do you struggle with now? Now the hardest for me is being a mom, being connected with my child. And find a job: don't know how to "sell" myself.

4- Is there anything that you think specifically applies to us female aspies that may be left out of male-aspie-oriented literature? I'm new to this, so I've haven't read that much.

5- How important is gender to you? Do you relate more to males or female NT's? other aspies? Other people with other types of disabilities/issues. Gender is not important to me. I usually enjoy more with LGBT people, but I don't know if I consider myself one of them, hahaha,

6- How do you view asperger's and how it relates to your life? I view Aspergers as a part of me, like being lefthanded. I wouldn't like it to be a problem to me, something that "I have to change", but as times goes, is more the people that wants me to behave "normal". The last thing to this is that my ex just told me that he's taking my girl to live with him, 'cause I can't be fully responsible for her. And I have really mixed feelings about it.

6a- do you see Asperger's as a disability- or as the next step in human evolution? (or somewhere inbetween) I don't want to think I'm a disabled person or better just for being an Aspie, I'm just different, and I want to be understood in that difference.


6b- Do you see Asperger's as defining your life or just a part of it? Just a part of my life. A very important one, but not defining.

6c-Are there parts of being an Aspie you love? My memory. I rock at trivia games!

6d- You said you are good at organizing and making stuff- do your "aspie-bilities" make up for your weaknesses in your oppinion? I'm a latin woman trying to get a law degree. They don't care about my "aspie-bilities".

7- What's your "aspie-talent" if you have one? If you don't- does it bother you that most people assume all aspies have such "super-talent?" I think, once again, my memory, but I don't think is that over the top as a talent.

8- What do you think about children and parenting? Would you want children if you didn't know about Asperger's/weren't diagnosed? Do you want them now? I never thought of being a mon until I fell in love and got pregnant at 19. I love my girl with all my heart, but I don't think I could do it all over again.


8a- does your diagnosis play into how you feel about having children? Not my diagnosis, but knowing by first hand experience that I lack some quatilies for being the best mom I could possibly be is what convinces me of not having more children.

8b- do you feel capable of being a mother to someone- now or in the future? Hard question to me. I don't know right now. I hope I can be an excellent part-time mom.

8c- Are you afraid of having kids? Either the responsibility of another life to look after or that you "can't" do it for sensitivity/practical/sensory reasons? It's a recurrent nightmare. And the responsibility.

8d- what do you think might be the biggest challenge a woman might face as an aspie in reguards to parenting that wouldn't effect nt-mothers the same way? For me the hardest is being empathetic to her needs. I never need help with homework and never studied until highschool, so I thought my girl was the same. And she started to get crappy grades.

9- Do you have good aspie friends? non-aspie friends? If not when was the last time you had good friend and does it bother you that you don't have one? I don't have aspie friend and I have a bunch of goor NT friends, but no one I can call "my best friend".

10- Are you "girly"? Do you wear make-up? Bother with getting "gussied up"? Do you do it for you or for others? Are there parts of personal hygene that make no sense to you/you struggle with? I like purple and shoes. I wouldn't buy clothes or use make up if I didn't have to. I hate the
idea that you MUST dress according to a certain way, like that is going to make me smarter or a better worker. I don't understand why we have to wax, is nonsense!

11. Do you make up your own words? Can you give me a feew examples of these if so and how you came up with them? No, i don't make my own words.


SORRY FOR THE GRAMMAR IF APPLICABLE!.

I noticed that the OP was dated back in last year, so I apologize if I'm filling this out for no reason.


Screening Questions (these are just used so I can group demographics together and hopefully flesh out my charater)
1- How old are you now? 24
2- How old were you when you heard of asperger's/were diagnosed? 22

About the diagnosis:
How did you hear of Asperger's/get your diagnosis?
I had little to no knowledge of Asperger's, but one day while I was sitting in my dorm room twirling my hair, it suddenly hit me that I might have what I called at the time "autistic tendencies." I began to investigate via Google, and found myself in tears within a few hours.

Life Before Asperger's:

1- Describe to me how you viewed yourself pre-diagnosis.
I always thought I was just eccentric and weird (and had in fact been called that my whole life). I had been told as a pre-teen that I was majorly depressed and possibly bipolar, so I assumed that my social problems stemmed from that.

2- What did you struggle with most?
I came from a small town where everyone knew everyone else and their business, so I never struggled too-too much with making friends since most of the people I went to school with had basically known me since I was in preschool. I never had the same level of social interaction with others (sleepovers, visiting, hanging out in general), but no one ever questioned it. It wasn't until I went away to college that I began to feel extremely isolated and very different. During my freshman year, I spent weekends alone playing World of Warcraft and watching entire anime series, often going to the Wal-Mart parking lot to cry in the middle of the night. It got better, but I was still no social butterfly and often even pretended to have to do something when I was invited to parties and to hang out.

Life After Asperger's Diagnosis/Suspected diagnosis

1- Did your functioning level change after diagnosis?
In the year after discovering that I was more than likely an aspie, nothing changed for me. It was more like feeling bittersweet about at least knowing why I had done things a certain way throughout my life. Recently, though, I've delved into it even more. I feel the same way - at least I know why - but also a bit helpless, as things are getting more complicated now that I am out on my own in a new town/state. I don't know that my functioning level changed or if it's the same, but only more difficult now that I'm in a new environment with new problems to deal with.

2- How do you view yourself now/right after diagnosis?
I'm proud to be autistic, and only wish that others could understand me better. I fight to blurt out "I'm on the autism spectrum, y'know," and have only told one or two other people outside my mom and husband.

3- What do you struggle with now?
At the moment, it is hardest for me to keep my job and to make a new social circle. My job is wonderful, and though it's not in the field I would love to be in, I'm in it solely because I'm good at it. However, when stress gets high (as it is now), it's difficult to stay with it and not hole up in my house with my animals. If my husband had a higher paying job, I would no doubt quit and be a housewife. And also, I mentioned earlier, we moved to a new state so we have very few friends (if any). My husband is a very social person, but I usually don't care whether I go out to a bar or stay in, making it hard to expand my circle. I also have a hard time making friends in general, so even if we do go out and make new acquaintances, I have no idea how to maintain that relationship to a friendship level.

4- Is there anything that you think specifically applies to us female aspies that may be left out of male-aspie-oriented literature?
Female aspies are much different than NT females, and also quite different from males with or without Asperger's (of course). The common stereotypes that already misconstrue Aspergians can be even harder to identify with for females because we sometimes react to situations and live our lives in a different way. I don't always hit every single symptom of Asperger's, but after coming across a chart that listed FEMALE traits found I hit EVERY one of those. If the goal of the autistic community is to at the very least educate NTs and those who don't even know they're autistic, everyone should be represented equally in whatever form we're being represented in.

5- How important is gender to you? Do you relate more to males or female NT's? other aspies? Other people with other types of disabilities/issues?
Personally, I find myself rather androgynous and have always been attracted to it. I have always related more to male NTs than females. Female NTs are so extremely difficult for me to get along with, and the things they do befuddle me. I'm not very good at making conversation anyway, but have always found myself more engaged in male conversation than female. It isn't until now that I've come in contact with so many aspies, so I don't know how to answer that particular question, but I do know that I've related to those with mental issues my entire life.

6- How do you view asperger's and how it relates to your life?
I'm trying to accept that this is who I am, it won't change, and that it's okay. As I said before, I find it difficult to not spout out that I am this way as though it is a plea to help others understand why I do things a certain way. It's hard to not use it as an excuse to get out of things that are outside my comfort zone.

6a- do you see Asperger's as a disability- or as the next step in human evolution? (or somewhere inbetween)
I really don't believe this has anything to do with evolution. Why in the world would the next step be a desire for social interaction but no way to deal with that or for isolation? Humans are social animals. In the society we live in, it is certainly more of a disability than a blessing.

6b- Do you see Asperger's as defining your life or just a part of it?
I would prefer to see it as only part of my life, but seeing as to how it is the reason I have grown up this way, it certainly takes a more "front stage" role than that.

6c-Are there parts of being an Aspie you love?
Oh, of course! I wouldn't change the way I am for anything. True, I do wish I could learn to be more social and less internal and almost numb sometimes, but I LOVE who I am.

6d- You said you are good at organizing and making stuff- do your "aspie-bilities" make up for your weaknesses in your opinion?
They seem to have done so thus far. Most of the people I've been around or are friends with can't believe that I am an aspie because they have accepted my eccentricities and left it at that rather than believing there was something further wrong with me. I went to college for studio art, so it's even more acceptable to be "weird."

7- What's your "aspie-talent" if you have one? If you don't- does it bother you that most people assume all aspies have such "super-talent?"
I'm very good at anything that requires creativity. Painting/drawing, graphic/web design, cooking, sewing, music (perfect pitch)... And I've always been brilliant at schoolwork and making good grades without trying.

8- What do you think about children and parenting? Would you want children if you didn't know about Asperger's/weren't diagnosed? Do you want them now?
Most of my life I've said that I hate children and NEVER wanted to have them. NEVER NEVER NEVER. But now that I'm married, if I were to get pregnant I would see it as more of a blessing than a curse. I am quite terrified that my child would end up with some form of autism, but also believe I would be a better parent to that type of child than an NT since I understand it much better. But it's also not like I'm TRYING to get pregnant.

8a- does your diagnosis play into how you feel about having children?
No, I've never wanted children. And actually, I've always been subconsciously worried that my children will have disabilities.

8b- do you feel capable of being a mother to someone- now or in the future?
After caring for a wild, stubborn puppy for the past month, YES. Haha! My whole life I've been paranoid that I couldn't love a child properly or give it the correct amount of attention, but I believe my husband and I would make good (albeit unorthodox) parents.

8c- Are you afraid of having kids? Either the responsibility of another life to look after or that you "can't" do it for sensitivity/practical/sensory reasons?
Yes, yes, yes, yes. I get aggravated at seemingly meaningless things like noises or being aggravated while I'm "in the zone," and children are a complete upset to that. I don't want to snap at my child or end up hitting it too hard. And if I can barely care for myself when I get very bad off, what if I have a child during that time?

8d- what do you think might be the biggest challenge a woman might face as an aspie in regards to parenting that wouldn't effect nt-mothers the same way?
There are the sensitivity/sensory issues and the tendency to lash out. The inability to share emotions or act like we give a crap. Wanting (and even needing) isolation. Haha, hmm, basically everything. But parenting is hard anyway, it wouldn't be parenting without give-and-take and sacrifices and hard times, right? At least that's what I've always heard.

9- Do you have good aspie friends? non-aspie friends? If not when was the last time you had a good friend and does it bother you that you don't have one?
I often say that I've never had a "best friend." This isn't true, but all of my "best friends" have been guys who remain important to me. I've just never had that bizarre girl BFF relationship, and sometimes I do feel cheated that I've never been able to experience that. I don't have any aspie friends that I'm aware of, although I did make pretty good acquaintances with an aspie male in the town I just moved from. The last time I had a REALLY good friend was during college - I had a trio of females (all eccentric and weird like me though not aspie) and we called ourselves a "family" we were so close.

10- Are you "girly"? Do you wear make-up? Bother with getting "gussied up"? Do you do it for you or for others? Are there parts of personal hygene that make no sense to you/you struggle with?
It's taken me years to feel "girly." When I was a child I didn't even brush my hair and barely paid attention to what I was wearing (or if it was clean). I now go through periods of wearing make-up and making sure I look nice and having on clothes I consider stylish. More often than not, I could care less and in those times I do it for others (if at all), particularly for my husband (although he doesn't seem to care). I've found it improves my confidence, though, so I make an effort when I think about it. Personal hygiene is something I have also struggled with. When I was a pre-teen, I went weeks without showering and didn't care or notice. I still find it difficult to force myself to take a shower and often go at least a few days without one. I could wear the same clothes for a week and not care until I started noticing a smell. Recently I've begun to hate shaving and don't do it unless I feel it's necessary.

11. Do you make up your own words? Can you give me a feew examples of these if so and how you came up with them?
Oh gosh yes, and silly-sounding names, too. Luckily my husband supports this (unknowingly), and also comes up with words of his own. We used to play games (not outright called games, but that's basically what it was) where we just kept saying nonsensical words with their definitions, or stating a crazy statement using a new word. Actually, I think we did make a game out of it once using Scrabble Slam cards. Let me think of an example... "Larry Crim washes his faahs with boff musk."

Nope, I'm still lurking around and reading these. I still haven't started this project, but I want to soonish.

1- How old are you now?26
2- How old were you when you heard of asperger's/were diagnosed? First heard about it when I was 19. Never been officially diagnosed. My psychotherapist is sure I might have it though.
About the diagnosis:
How did you hear of Asperger's/get your diagnosis? I randomly heard about it in school from a professor and suspected I could be aspergic. After that the school counsellor told me she suspects I could have aspergers but she wasn't sure if some conditions were a result of my bipolar. At that time she came up with a list of problems I could have but I was only officially diagnosed with Bipolar and ADHD. Over the years I've transferred places and met new psychotherapists out of whom autism experts and neuropyschologists said I seem to show a lot of aspergers characteristics so I just assume could possibily be aspergic. I came to this conclusion when I was 23.


Life Before Asperger's:

1- Describe to me how you viewed yourself pre-diagnosis. Just a bit weird and left out.



2- What did you struggle with most? Being on my own most of the time and dealing with embarrassment from being picked on a lot. being called a whiz by some teachers and a dud by others. and the effect they had on my mood since I have bipolar. It was easy to go into manic depression.

Life After Asperger's Diagnosis/Suspected diagnosis: I took sometime out to stop what I was doing and examine myself. Faced a crisis that started like three years ago and I think I only surfaced out of the problem like a month ago. Not much of life has passed after daignosis but I can say I understand myself better and take some precautions to avoid uncomfortable situations now.



1- Did you functioning level change after diagnosis? Suprisingly I feel it went down. Prolly because of the crisis I have been facing. Should go up soon I'm hoping.


2- How do you view yourself now/right after diagnosis?Not much different. But I am not very hard on myself like I was before



3- What do you struggle with now? A lot of conditions that are currently negatively affecting me: ADHD, Anxiety, violent mood swings, depression. overload and shutdowns due to different conditions and PTSD. But I am determined to pull myself together soon and start over.


4- Is there anything that you think specifically applies to us female aspies that may be left out of male-aspie-oriented literature?

I don't know.



5- How important is gender to you? Do you relate more to males or female NT's? other aspies? Other people with other types of disabilities/issues
I identity with being female and I'm female so no identity issues there. It took me a few years and I guess it does for most people to identify with being a gender. I suddenly started feeling girly at 20. I do swing into feeling extra feminine somedays but I do not swing into feeling masculine much. I am straight and relate to other aspie females mostly. I have had aspie friends mostly. I can't relate to NTs at all. I mean I don't get on much with them. I guess the social games tire me out so I prefer being alone or with people I can trust. I attract weirdos mostly.
6- How do you view asperger's and how it relates to your life? Not a hinderence of any kind, but I feel lucky that it makes me what I am. It does not define me, but I'm thankful for the positive traits it adds to me, .

7- What's your "aspie-talent" if you have one? If you don't- does it bother you that most people assume all aspies have such "super-talent?" Meh everybody has some talent. One needs to concentrate on himself/herself to find it. An aspie talent well I don't think its because I have aspergers but for some reason I can predict things well.



8- What do you think about children and parenting? Would you want children if you didn't know about Asperger's/weren't diagnosed? Do you want them now? 'S a huge responsibility. Why yes I still want children. Not now but a few years from now.


9- Do you have good aspie friends? non-aspie friends? If not when was the last time you had a good friend and does it bother you that you don't have one? I have friends and some very good friends. One of them is much closer to me than my sister is. A few acquaintances that I can count on in case of a crisis. I'm thankful for them because when my family left me on my own during an emotional crisis they supported me through bouts of suicidal depression.



10- Are you "girly"? Do you wear make-up? Bother with getting "gussied up"? Do you do it for you or for others? Are there parts of personal hygene that make no sense to you/you struggle with?
Yes, my tastes are either too girly or a li'l masculine. But on the whole I'm more girly. I wear make-up because I enjoy the art involved in it. I don't do it for others more for myself. It sort of adds confidence. No I'm a neat freak. My personal hygiene routine is very complicated to most people.

Screening Questions (these are just used so I can group demographics together and hopefully flesh out my charater)
1- How old are you now? 27
2- How old were you when you heard of asperger's/were diagnosed? At 16 I was diagnosed with PDD-nos and it changed to aspergers by the age of 19

About the diagnosis:
How did you hear of Asperger's/get your diagnosis? At 16 I had some sort of emotional breakdown caused my social frustration. The social frustration was given the name PDD and latter evolved into aspergers.


Life Before Asperger's:

1- Describe to me how you viewed yourself pre-diagnosis. The same as I view myself now but only younger. The diagnosis changed nothing it was more of a phyciatric label then anything else.

2- What did you struggle with most? Making friends, getting bullied both mentally and physically,outbursts,depression and being an over-sensitive emotional wreck of a human being.

Life After Asperger's Diagnosis/Suspected diagnosis

1- Did you functioning level change after diagnosis? I ignored the diagnosis for the first 8 years so I doubt that it did anything.

2- How do you view yourself now/right after diagnosis? The same as I did before the diagnosis except for the newly gained knowledge that I had a mild case of autism.

3- What do you struggle with now? Loneliness,depression,low-self esteem,being over-emotional,unemployment,fear of death,doing nothing with my life,lack of ambition,post-traumatic stress.

4- Is there anything that you think specifically applies to us female aspies that may be left out of male-aspie-oriented literature? I would say possibly too much empathy and feeling of emotions but that may not apply to all female aspies. My answer is No!

5- How important is gender to you? Do you relate more to males or female NT's? other aspies? Other people with other types of disabilities/issues
Gender is physical but society has created these horrible gender roles. I relate more to the majority of male NTs but can relate to a few NT females.
I relate to bipolar because I am also bipolar. I feel a great connection with people that have all disabilities except for the sociopaths.

6- How do you view asperger's and how it relates to your life?Aspergers is a diagnose the involves poor social skills. I am one of the unfortunate ones with this diagnosis.

6a- do you see Asperger's as a disability- or as the next step in human evolution? (or somewhere in between) A social disability that would not have existed if we lived in a tribal setting.
If it's the next step in evolution then the social skills would have evolved along with everything else.

6b- Do you see Asperger's as defining your life or just a part of it? Part of it. My views,ideas,individuality,thoughts,feelings and dreams define my life.
6c-Are there parts of being an Aspie you love?My obsessive interests and endless knowledge of the subject.

6d- You said you are good at organizing and making stuff- do your "aspie-bilities" make up for your weaknesses in your opinion? No and the word aspie-billities only applies to the disillusioned aspies that see having aspergers as a gift. Aspie talents are not any greater than NT talents.

7- What's your "aspie-talent" if you have one? If you don't- does it bother you that most people assume all aspies have such "super-talent?" The word "aspie-talent is used to make aspergers sound positive.
It's a very annoying phrase. Most people don't assume this since the average person knows very little about aspergers..

8- What do you think about children and parenting? Would you want children if you didn't know about Asperger's/weren't diagnosed? Children and parenting are an important part of early life.
I like individual children but not children in large groups. Being around certain children can be a rewarding experience.
If I weren't diagnosed I would want a child.


8a- does your diagnosis play into how you feel about having children? Definitely. They would not choose to have aspergers and my childhood was miserable.
Nobody should ever go through that hell.

8b- do you feel capable of being a mother to someone- now or in the future?Probably, If I had my own kids they would be loved greatly.

8c- Are you afraid of having kids? Either the responsibility of another life to look after or that you "can't" do it for sensitivity/practical/sensory reasons?Possible sensory issues and high-pitched screams may be a problem but they does not scare me from wanting kids. Having aspergers does that.

8d- what do you think might be the biggest challenge a woman might face as an aspie in regards to parenting that wouldn't effect nt-mothers the same way? Childhood obesity and the knowledge that their child is being bullied.

9- Do you have good aspie friends? non-aspie friends? If not when was the last time you had a good friend and does it bother you that you don't have one?I have no apsie or NT friends.
5 years ago was the last time I had any friends. Of course it bothers me. Loneliness turns into depression and that turns into health problems.

10- Are you "girly"? Do you wear make-up? Bother with getting "gussied up"? Do you do it for you or for others? Are there parts of personal hygiene that make no sense to you/you struggle with?
Make-up is too artificial and I hate the feeling of wearing makeup. No, I would not waste my time putting that crap on my face.My hygiene is pretty good right now.


11. Do you make up your own words? Can you give me a few examples of these if so and how you came up with them? I make up phrases that are probably made up already.
"verbal crucification" is a commonly used phrase by me.

Comment on 6d-- I got that question as an extension that intrested me. For some reason the cleaning got transfered over, it was supposed to be generic. sorry, just fill in your own aspie-talent or skip if N/A

1- How old are you now? 16
2- How old were you when you heard of asperger's/were diagnosed? I was diagnosed when I was 10.

About the diagnosis:
How did you hear of Asperger's/get your diagnosis? I got diagnosed when I was in 4th grade when I was in an approx. 6-month-long period of depression and extreme anxiety. My grades went from the best to really bad. I was diagnosed by my pediatrician, my psychiatrist after my first evaluation visit thing, then the school psychologist.


Life Before Asperger's:

1- Describe to me how you viewed yourself pre-diagnosis. In the short period of time before my diagnosis, I was feeling extremely overwhelmed, depressed, and I lacked confidence and had very low self-esteem. Before that time (like, the first 9 years of my life) I don't really recall much about how I felt about myself.

2- What did you struggle with most? The other girls were progressing more than I was socially; I had a lot of friendship problems (quarrels, gossiping, etc.) and my teachers even described me as "manipulative"... I may have been at that point, but I haven't been called that since then. I never slept; horrible insomnia. I also had issues with depression, anxiety, and school... though I was a model student the first several years of my school career. I was having daily shutdowns and constantly felt a lack of energy/motivation.

Life After Asperger's Diagnosis/Suspected diagnosis

1- Did you functioning level change after diagnosis? Yes, because I began seeing a psychiatrist and began to take medications to combat my anxiety, depression, and horrible sleeping problems.

2- How do you view yourself now/right after diagnosis? I really don't know.

3- What do you struggle with now? I kind of struggle with school. I still have some anxiety problems, and I have sensory issues.

4- Is there anything that you think specifically applies to us female aspies that may be left out of male-aspie-oriented literature? Haven't thought about it.

5- How important is gender to you? Do you relate more to males or female NT's? other aspies? Other people with other types of disabilities/issues Haven't thought about it.

6- How do you view asperger's and how it relates to your life? It feels like a part of who I am.

6a- do you see Asperger's as a disability- or as the next step in human evolution? (or somewhere inbetween) Somewhere in between. It's hard to articulate my thoughts about AS.

6b- Do you see Asperger's as defining your life or just a part of it? Part.

6c-Are there parts of being an Aspie you love? My interests, though they might not necessarily be AS-related. I also get to be part of a community like this and meet interesting people.

6d- You said you are good at organizing and making stuff- do your "aspie-bilities" make up for your weaknesses in your oppinion? Huh?

7- What's your "aspie-talent" if you have one? If you don't- does it bother you that most people assume all aspies have such "super-talent?" I have a pretty good memory. And to the second question, yes. It's unfair to the group as a whole.

8- What do you think about children and parenting? Would you want children if you didn't know about Asperger's/weren't diagnosed? Do you want them now? I want them. I can't tell if I would want them if I weren't diagnosed.

8a- does your diagnosis play into how you feel about having children? No.

8b- do you feel capable of being a mother to someone- now or in the future? Yes, but in the future only... as in, 10+ years.

8c- Are you afraid of having kids? Either the responsibility of another life to look after or that you "can't" do it for sensitivity/practical/sensory reasons? I don't think I'm scared of having kids eventually... but that's at this point in my life. I don't know how I'll feel when I'm ready to have them. I want to have them at some point, so I don't think I'm afraid.

8d- what do you think might be the biggest challenge a woman might face as an aspie in reguards to parenting that wouldn't effect nt-mothers the same way? I don't really think about this often; maybe I can answer later.

9- Do you have good aspie friends? non-aspie friends? If not when was the last time you had a good friend and does it bother you that you don't have one? I don't have any good friends with AS... or any, for that matter. The few friends I have are NT.

10- Are you "girly"? Do you wear make-up? Bother with getting "gussied up"? Do you do it for you or for others? Are there parts of personal hygene that make no sense to you/you struggle with? I'm not particularly "girly." I don't wear make-up... though I plan on wearing some at some point. I just don't see the point now. I can get "gussied up" when needed, but it isn't something I like to do often.


11. Do you make up your own words? Can you give me a feew examples of these if so and how you came up with them? No.

Screening Questions (these are just used so I can group demographics together and hopefully flesh out my charater)
1- How old are you now?
17
2- How old were you when you heard of asperger's/were diagnosed?
15

About the diagnosis:
How did you hear of Asperger's/get your diagnosis?
when i did a bunch of nero and phsic testing at 15 the doctors said i mught have it

Life Before Asperger's:

1- Describe to me how you viewed yourself pre-diagnosis.
i viewed myself as different from everyone else but i had always felt that and never gave it a 2nd thought
2- What did you struggle with most?
making friends
Life After Asperger's Diagnosis/Suspected diagnosis

1- Did you functioning level change after diagnosis?
yes
2- How do you view yourself now/right after diagnosis?
as a person who is getting better daily
3- What do you struggle with now?
not freaking out every day during pms time
4- Is there anything that you think specifically applies to us female aspies that may be left out of male-aspie-oriented literature?
i always get worse during and around my period but men dont have that
5- How important is gender to you? Do you relate more to males or female NT's? other aspies? Other people with other types of disabilities/issues
pretty important.female. male cuz i only know 1 other female aspie. very well.
6- How do you view asperger's and how it relates to your life?
i view us like everyone else but we have to work 10 times harder at life
6a- do you see Asperger's as a disability- or as the next step in human evolution? (or somewhere inbetween)
the next step to human evolution
6b- Do you see Asperger's as defining your life or just a part of it?
just a part of it
6c-Are there parts of being an Aspie you love?
yes but not many
6d- You said you are good at organizing and making stuff- do your "aspie-bilities" make up for your weaknesses in your oppinion?
yes
7- What's your "aspie-talent" if you have one? If you don't- does it bother you that most people assume all aspies have such "super-talent?"
no and yes
8- What do you think about children and parenting? Would you want children if you didn't know about Asperger's/weren't diagnosed? Do you want them now?
yes and yes very much so it just makes it a little harder

8a- does your diagnosis play into how you feel about having children?
not at all
8b- do you feel capable of being a mother to someone- now or in the future?
not now considering im only 17 but yes in the future
8c- Are you afraid of having kids? Either the responsibility of another life to look after or that you "can't" do it for sensitivity/practical/sensory reasons?
not really kids are one thing i understand
8d- what do you think might be the biggest challenge a woman might face as an aspie in reguards to parenting that wouldn't effect nt-mothers the same way?
most aspies have 1 huge intrest and children take up alot of time so that might be hard
9- Do you have good aspie friends? non-aspie friends? If not when was the last time you had a good friend and does it bother you that you don't have one?
aspie accuantices. 1 old non aspie friend that i rarly talk to.
10- Are you "girly"? Do you wear make-up? Bother with getting "gussied up"? Do you do it for you or for others? Are there parts of personal hygene that make no sense to you/you struggle with?
i act girly but dont look it. i wear make up a quater of the time i always wear jeans and a tee shirt i struggle with higene and people in the 1700's took showers once per month so why do we once per day

11. Do you make up your own words? Can you give me a feew examples of these if so and how you came up with them? [/b][/b]
i just say ugg alot like charlie brown but thats about it. i like making my own spellings for words cuz i hate phonex

Life Before Asperger's:

1- Describe to me how you viewed yourself pre-diagnosis.

I could never understand why everywhere I went, I was at best ignored and at worst tormented. I thought of myself as a normal girl, but now that I look back on it, I suppose I did present differently than most others my age.

2- What did you struggle with most?

I'm told my vocabulary used to intimidate people, especially other children. My interests were odd and were all I wanted to talk about. When other little girls were obsessed with horses, I liked snakes and mummification. It took me eight years to realise that none of my classmates liked me. I was also notorious for walking into things - - especially walls.

Life After Asperger's Diagnosis/Suspected diagnosis

1- Did you functioning level change after diagnosis?

Yeah, but then again, I was diagnosed at seventeen. I had already been through alot of changes just by growing up. That said, I still have challenges socially and with motor skills.

2- How do you view yourself now/right after diagnosis?

That I'm not like most other girls.

3- What do you struggle with now?

Making and keeping friendships, dating, holding a job, driving, and using the bus.

4- Is there anything that you think specifically applies to us female aspies that may be left out of male-aspie-oriented literature?

I at least know that, for me, rather than taking metaphor literally I lake language literally. It's still a problem for me and starts many unneccesary arguements!

5- How important is gender to you? Do you relate more to males or female NT's? other aspies? Other people with other types of disabilities/issues

I've always gotten along better with males. In high school, I had a phase where I dressed like a boy, but I was never transgender or anything. I just didn't want to be defined by my sex. Even though I enjoy wearing dresses (as they're not only pretty, but comfortable!) I will always be a tom-boy at heart.

6- How do you view asperger's and how it relates to your life?

I believe it is overdiagnosed, and often question whether or not I am genuinely autistic.

6a- do you see Asperger's as a disability- or as the next step in human evolution? (or somewhere inbetween)

Without a doubt, I view my condition as a disability. All I want to be is average, and all my life it seems like that's too much to ask for.

6b- Do you see Asperger's as defining your life or just a part of it?

It's just something I have to deal with. Autism is not me.

6c-Are there parts of being an Aspie you love?

My impressive vocabulary.

6d- You said you are good at organizing and making stuff- do your "aspie-bilities" make up for your weaknesses in your oppinion?

I seem like a slob, but that's just because I have my own system. I have stacks of things, rather than tucking them away. I hang my coats on chains instead of in the closet. I line things up (which was only recently pointed out to me by my mother.) So I suppose I'm good at organizing things, in my own way.

On another note, no. I'd rather be street-smart than book-smart any day.

7- What's your "aspie-talent" if you have one? If you don't- does it bother you that most people assume all aspies have such "super-talent?"

I'm an amazing writer, whether it be fiction or non-fiction, poetry or essay.

8- What do you think about children and parenting? Would you want children if you didn't know about Asperger's/weren't diagnosed? Do you want them now?

I adore children. I want to be a mother, and I believe this to be beyond biological urge.

8a- does your diagnosis play into how you feel about having children?

Sometimes it makes me question my abilities, but I used to teach pre-school, so I know I have what it takes if I just have some support (from the father, my mother.)

8b- do you feel capable of being a mother to someone- now or in the future?

I'm very in-tune to children, especially to those with special needs.

8c- Are you afraid of having kids? Either the responsibility of another life to look after or that you "can't" do it for sensitivity/practical/sensory reasons?

I do get overwhelmed easily. I also become suicidal. That's the one thing I worry about - - being in psychiatric ward and what that will do to my children.

8d- what do you think might be the biggest challenge a woman might face as an aspie in reguards to parenting that wouldn't effect nt-mothers the same way?

If my child is neurotypical, it will be harder to guide them through situations I never got to experience.

9- Do you have good aspie friends? non-aspie friends? If not when was the last time you had a good friend and does it bother you that you don't have one?

I have one internet friend that I cherish. I have had friends with Asperger's in the past, however, we both confused each other to the point where we lost touch. I've found that - for me, at least - it just doesn't work out. I do attend a women's support group, though.

10- Are you "girly"? Do you wear make-up? Bother with getting "gussied up"? Do you do it for you or for others? Are there parts of personal hygene that make no sense to you/you struggle with?

I don't wear alot of make-up, but it has nothing to do with sensory issues or the like. If I want to wear lipstick, I wear lipstick. But I often go without, because I don't think it makes me anymore beautiful than I already am.

As for things that don't make sense to me, bikini waxing and anal bleaching are just WEIRD. I shave my girly bits, to a point, but can't imagine the pain of waxing (nor why a woman would like to look like a child.)

11. Do you make up your own words? Can you give me a feew examples of these if so and how you came up with them?

On occasion. More so when I was little.

1- How old are you now?
I just turned 34

2- How old were you when you heard of asperger's/were diagnosed?
Heard of it/self-diagnosed at 19. Got a formal diagnosis at 33.


About the diagnosis:
How did you hear of Asperger's/get your diagnosis?
A therapist mentioned the possibility. I denied it for a while on the basis of everything I read being so horrible, but eventually I had to admit it made sense. I'm pretty high-functioning-- a lot of the literature is inaccurate in my case-- but it's undeniably obvious if you know what you're looking for.


Life Before Asperger's:

1- Describe to me how you viewed yourself pre-diagnosis.
I really don't remember very well before self-diagnosis. That was a long time ago. I saw myself as smart but in general a f**kup, a misfit.

2- What did you struggle with most?
Trying to fit in, or figure out what was wrong with me (or with other people) that it seemed like the harder I tried, the worse the fit was.

Life After Asperger's Diagnosis/Suspected diagnosis

1- Did you functioning level change after diagnosis?
It went through the floor for a while. I got treatment from some idiots who thought AS automatically meant you were violent and needed to be kept sedated. I pretty much stopped functioning for about eight months.

Actually, I more than stopped functioning. I stopped believing I could function, stopped believing I ever had functioned, stopped believing I was even capable of knowing what functioning was. I took a lot of risperidone (on professional orders), stopped bathing and keeping house, slept more than half the time, developed agoraphobia, almost lost the ability to converse, and eventually became suicidal.

2- How do you view yourself now/right after diagnosis?
Actually, I like me. Or I want to like me, anyway. I'm having a hard time believing that it will be OK if I go ahead and let myself like myself.

3- What do you struggle with now?
Thinking I have to have low self-esteem because that's what's made me "good" all these years. Being judged by others for what I am or what I'm not. Most of all, fear of disclosure. The things the general populace believes about AS are scary. The fear of being judged by the literature, not by who I am, makes it really hard to ask for help with things I do struggle with (anxiety, depression). I'd like to learn emotional repair strategies for other people-- so I can help pick the people I care about up when they get down-- but nobody wants to teach that.

4- Is there anything that you think specifically applies to us female aspies that may be left out of male-aspie-oriented literature?
Everything. I think we're a lot less likely to be violent, and we try harder to fit in. A lot of us can "pass" more easily. That's generally viewed as a good thing-- that we're more high-functioning because we're more able to appear neurotypical. It isn't. I think Aspie chicks are probably more likely to be depressed, more likely to internalize a negative valuation of self, precisely because so many people seem to define "doing well" and "functioning" by one's ability to appear NT, not by one's ability to optimize one's functioning as oneself.

5- How important is gender to you? Do you relate more to males or female NT's? other aspies? Other people with other types of disabilities/issues
Not. Most of my friends are guys (although it's a close split with close friends-- 3 guys including my spouse, 2 women). I get very annoyed with social standards of gender roles-- what a woman is "supposed to be like."

6- How do you view asperger's and how it relates to your life?
Well, they say it's not that big of a deal. No more than a thread, really. But it's a thread that runs through everything, isn't it?? Maybe it's not much-- but for good or ill (probably both) it's a major part of who I am.
6a- do you see Asperger's as a disability- or as the next step in human evolution? (or somewhere inbetween)
Neither one nor the other. It's a disability in some ways and an advantage in others-- and what those ways are changes with the context, with what I am doing and who I am with. It's not a disability or a super-ability. It's just a difference.

6b- Do you see Asperger's as defining your life or just a part of it?
Just a part of it. But a pretty damned influential part. Pervasive.

6c-Are there parts of being an Aspie you love?
Absolutely. I love having a good rote memory-- it comes in handy when I need phone numbers or can't find the books for my kids' favorite bedtime stories (or get tired of them grabbing at the pages). Most of the time, I love not really caring about fitting in or worrying about what people will think. My NT-chick friend is obsessed with it-- to the point of being disabling. I feel sorry for her sometimes.

6d- You said you are good at organizing and making stuff- do your "aspie-bilities" make up for your weaknesses in your oppinion?
Sometimes. Sometimes not. It depends on what I have accomplished (or screwed up royally) in a given day.

7- What's your "aspie-talent" if you have one? If you don't- does it bother you that most people assume all aspies have such "super-talent?"
I'm a very good speller and grammarian. w*k. I used to be a good writer, but I've gotten out of practice with raising kids and stuff. I can focus on things for long periods of time and retain a lot of data. I learn information fast, but applying it takes longer.

8- What do you think about children and parenting? Would you want children if you didn't know about Asperger's/weren't diagnosed? Do you want them now?
I love my kids. They drive me completely apeshit. They're wonderful. My 4-year-old son is actually hanging out with me right now. Kids are pretty cool. If I'd read a lot of the literature before I had the first one, I would have been afraid to try. Sometimes I think I should give them away, because so many people say people on the spectrum CAN'T be good parents.

But I think my Dad was a good parent. And when I just think about it-- not listen to what anybody says I'm capable of but just look at what's in front of me-- I think I'm a good parent too. Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination-- but I have never seen a perfect parent. There isn't any such thing, is there??


8a- does your diagnosis play into how you feel about having children?

I think I just answered that, didn't I?? It makes me really angry. No one would question my ability to parent if they thought I was NT. Nobody questions my ability to parent until they find out I have AS.

8b- do you feel capable of being a mother to someone- now or in the future?

Well, I'm doing it. Day in and day out, I've been doing it for 10 years now. I'll be doing it, Gods willing, for another 18. I think most parents have days when they feel like they can't do it for one... more... second. Wonder why the f**k they ever got into this. At least, that's been my experience from talking to other parents. It looks like I'm actually more confident of my ability to parent than most women I know. My NT-chick friend comes to me for advice all the time, I think because I don't get all social and emotional about it. It's a job that needs to be done-- an important job that merits doing well-- but I am going to look at it as a problem to solve. I am going to look at the situation, at the information, at what is working and what is not and at what is reasonable to expect and what is not, and respond accordingly.

8c- Are you afraid of having kids? Either the responsibility of another life to look after or that you "can't" do it for sensitivity/practical/sensory reasons?

The responsibility of another life to look after?? Terrifies me every day. Doesn't it scare everyone??? I've never met a mother who wasn't terrified of something happening to her kids. But-- maybe because I grew up before Asperger's "existed" and nobody told me I couldn't-- I feel as capable of bearing that responsibility as anyone else.

Kids, hell-- right now I'm helping take care of my husband's parents, who have a lot of medical issues going on. Except on bad days, I feel up to that, too. I think it's mostly because people told me there were things I needed to accept and things I needed to work on-- my Dad understood a lot of what they were and how to work on them because he was AS too-- but no one ever thought to tell me I was disabled and COULDN'T do it.

That's been a new thing-- something that's shown up in the past few years-- and ironically it's been mostly from mental health professionals, the people who are supposed to be there to help people with differences and disabilities make the most of themselves. Have I mentioned that that fact really pisses me off????

I'll work on this some more later. It's morning now and the kids are up and fighting and driving my MIL crazy.

8d- what do you think might be the biggest challenge a woman might face as an aspie in reguards to parenting that wouldn't effect nt-mothers the same way?

One of my biggest problems has been getting downtime. I think every mother has a problem with this, but it's a bigger deal for me because I need more of it and start going awfully wonky if I don't get it. So far, I've dealt with this by taking a lot of long drives, letting them cry when I know they're not hungry/dirty/hurt/sick/afraid, putting up everything they can hurt themselves with (I don't have much of that stuff anyway-- my house is pretty kid-proof by default at this point) popping in a video and going in the other room with the door shut for 20 minutes, spending a lot of time at the local park, and generally free-ranging my kids more than a lot of parents do. Please bear in mind that there's a difference between "free range" and "neglect." Don't confuse them.

And, OK, confessionally, sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom and bang my head against the wall. And I smoke too much.

Another problem is keeping special interests contained. I've dealt with this to a certain extent by cultivating an interest in kids. That only goes so far. I'm still interested in what I'm interested in-- and at this point, it's all time-consuming. I would, like any Aspie, happily spend sixteen hours a day working on whatever I'm obsessed with. I can't let myself do that. Sometimes I resent the living crap out of not being able to, say, spend as much time in my garden as I want, or stay up all night canning stuff and then get a good long midmorning nap.

So I'm teaching the kids to garden. They like to dig. I'm teaching them to hoe. Pray for my tomatoes.

The worst one of all is other peoples' judgments. As usual. Women are a judgmental batch. Mommy wars are brutal. It seems like everyone wants to pick up their opinion of their own parenting by putting yours down at every opportunity. Being unconventional, I get quite a lot of it. It's hard not to take it personally when some random stranger feels free to tell me I'm not taking care of my kids because I'm not doing it the way they'd do it (which, a lot of the time, is a pretty stupid way). There was almost an altercation in the park this summer when some old woman got pissed at me for NOT swatting at the bees buzzing around my 2-year-old's head. Seriously. Like-- What did she think?? If the bees got mad enough, they'd leave??

The whole, "There's no way you can possibly be a good mother. You're incapable of caring for others. You can't take care of yourself. It said so on the Today show!" thing. I honestly feel like I'm always on trial, and will be until the last kid leaves home.

9- Do you have good aspie friends? non-aspie friends? If not when was the last time you had a good friend and does it bother you that you don't have one?

I have a very small handful of very, very good friends. Five of them, to be exact, if you count my spouse as a friend. They're not numerous, but they're the kind of friends you can count on to still be there when you're puking and shaking and can't stop crying (or screaming, or muttering, or whatever). They're FRIENDS. The kind they say you're lucky to find one of in a lifetime. I have five. I am really, really, really lucky.

10- Are you "girly"? Do you wear make-up? Bother with getting "gussied up"? Do you do it for you or for others? Are there parts of personal hygene that make no sense to you/you struggle with?

NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. I live in jeans and t-shirts (or sweats). I only wear dresses for special events. If I absolutely have to look good, one of my chick friends or my best guy friend's wife picks out my clothes. I wash my face, I wash my personal parts, I put on deodorant, I brush my hair and sometimes either braid it or put it in a pony tail, I brush my teeth, I clean my glasses, I throw on my clothes, and that's it. That's all. Don't like it?? Look at some other broad.

I have to remind myself to do all the personal hygiene stuff. I know I'm supposed to care. I know it smells bad if I don't care. I have a really hard time remembering to shower if I'm not going out somewhere. I think I'm going to have to just make it something I do every day, regardless.

11. Do you make up your own words? Can you give me a feew examples of these if so and how you came up with them?

I used to. Not so much any more. I came up with a good acronym the other day-- SNAP-- Straight, Neurotypical, Anglo-Saxon Protestant. The demographic that's most likely to f*****g piss me off. The people I'm afraid of. I have to remember that they're not all judgmental psychowhores. It's not fair to paint a whole demographic with a broad brush and write them all off.


I think that's all for now. Please reply if you can and ask any female aspies you know to fill it out for me too. Thank you so much for your help! I greatly appreciate it.[/quote]

Screening Questions (these are just used so I can group demographics together and hopefully flesh out my charater)
1- How old are you now?
I'm 18.

2- How old were you when you heard of asperger's/were diagnosed?
I'm self diagnosed at the moment, but I only started researching it a while ago, so I was 18 as well.

About the diagnosis:
How did you hear of Asperger's/get your diagnosis?
I started reading a little bit about it out of curiousity. The more I read, the more I realised how likely it is that I have Aspergers.

Life Before Asperger's:

1- Describe to me how you viewed yourself pre-diagnosis.
I honestly viewed myself as a free spirit - as if I was just born with some kind of immunity to peer pressure, societal constraints and the desire to fit in. I just didn't care about what people thought about me. I just felt like I had the natural quality of non-comformity, as I simply didn't have the desire to be like everyone else. I didn't enjoy socializing, but I put that down to being an introvert as an adult and being socially anxious and shy as a child. I also viewed myself as a snob, quite honestly. I felt like I was superior to all of my peers and even some adults. I get very easily irritated with certain types of people or traits in people and this assisted my endeavours to conform as little as possible.

2- What did you struggle with most?
I struggled the most with understanding people and sometimes the world, in general. Not that I've gotten much better, but now when I feel confused about people or the world, I know it;s because of the AS.

Life After Asperger's Diagnosis/Suspected diagnosis

1- Did you functioning level change after diagnosis?
I don't believe so. I have definetly humbled (see previous answer), but that's related to AS, so much.

2- How do you view yourself now/right after diagnosis?
At first, I felt rather freakish and unnatural. Now, that I've gotten to grips with the concept of AS, I view myself as a person with Aspergers. Nothing more, nothing less.

3- What do you struggle with now?
I still struggle a bit with feeling like I'm much older than I actually am. It doesn't make socialising any easier, which is difficult enough. I'd say my main area of struggle now, is making and keeping friends.

4- Is there anything that you think specifically applies to us female aspies that may be left out of male-aspie-oriented literature?
It seems to me that barring any sensory issues, they're not interested in their appearance as much as a nuerotypical female would be.

5- How important is gender to you? Do you relate more to males or female NT's? other aspies? Other people with other types of disabilities/issues?
I really wish that gender didn't matter in society. I hate the stereotype of women and I'm not attracted to the stereotypical sort of man. I hate labelling things by gender and it does nothing but irritate me when someone says "Your a girl. You have to _____". I prefer to think of myself as just a person. Not male, not female, just a person. I incorporate feminine and masculine influences in my life.

6- How do you view asperger's and how it relates to your life?
I view it as a way of being that has it's positives and negatives like anything else. I feel like it affects my life in both ways.

6a- do you see Asperger's as a disability- or as the next step in human evolution? (or somewhere inbetween)
I think the socialization aspect of it is a disability. The ability to socialize is considered necassery in this society, so being unable to do so, puts us at a disadvantage. Also, it can be unpleasant when our routines aren't adhered to and while I wouldn't say that's disabling (in most circumstances), it's not very convenient. However, I don't feel Aspergers itself is a disability. I wouldn't go as far as to say it's the next step in human evolution though, seeing as how the world is dominated by nuerotypicals.

6b- Do you see Asperger's as defining your life or just a part of it?
Most of the time I see it as just a part of my life. During my meltdowns (although I don't have many), I feel like it dominates my life.

6c-Are there parts of being an Aspie you love?
I feel like it assists me in living a rich, inner life (imagination and such), without the inclusion of others and I'm happy about that. My ability to focus on things and sometimes notice things other people often get positive reactions and they enable to be a good, solid worker when working independently.

6d- You said you are good at organizing and making stuff- do your "aspie-bilities" make up for your weaknesses in your oppinion?
No. It's good to be organised, but it's not the only thing I need to get through life.

7- What's your "aspie-talent" if you have one? If you don't- does it bother you that most people assume all aspies have such "super-talent?"
I would say I have a strength in writing. I don't know how talented I am at it (I don't like to let many people see my work) but I'm always thinking about characters and fantasy worlds and I love putting them into words and contexts.

8- What do you think about children and parenting? Would you want children if you didn't know about Asperger's/weren't diagnosed? Do you want them now?
I do not want children and have felt that way for as long as I can remember. I simply don't have the desire. Knowing about Aspergers hasn't impacted on that in any way.

8a- does your diagnosis play into how you feel about having children?
Only in a very small way - I am glad that I am not passing down my Aspergers to anyone else or my other negative traits.

8b- do you feel capable of being a mother to someone- now or in the future?
No.

8c- Are you afraid of having kids? Either the responsibility of another life to look after or that you "can't" do it for sensitivity/practical/sensory reasons?
I wouldn't say I'm afraid of it persay, mainly because I don't think about it. For me, having kids simply isn't an option. I don't have the desire to do so. If I got pregnant accidentally, I would be afraid and repulsed until I wasn't anymore (either through abortion or miscarriage), mainly because I would feel as if a parasite was taking over my body and certain people may deny me the ability to rid myself of it.

8d- what do you think might be the biggest challenge a woman might face as an aspie in reguards to parenting that wouldn't effect nt-mothers the same way?
I'm merely making an educated guess here, but I would say the biggest challenge would be understanding a nuerotypical child or trying to help a child with Aspergers, in the area of socialization.

9- Do you have good aspie friends? non-aspie friends? If not when was the last time you had a good friend and does it bother you that you don't have one?
I don't have any good friends at the moment with Aspergers syndrome, but I'm hoping to find some here. My closest friend and I have an online-only relationship that has lasted since 2009, which suits me fine. They don't have Aspergers, but do suffer with other things.

10- Are you "girly"? Do you wear make-up? Bother with getting "gussied up"? Do you do it for you or for others? Are there parts of personal hygene that make no sense to you/you struggle with?
If you mean, girly in the conventional sense, not very. I'm overweight so I need to go out of my way to look for clothes that fit me but I do enjoy having nice, fun clothes that aren't boring, unflattering and dull. I like colour and patterns and I don't like clothes to be loose and shapeless to hide the fact that I'm overweight. I own some clothes with splashes of pink on them. I like to wear jewellery and I like to cook. I like animals and to be in nature. I can be quite sensitive and it's not hard to make me cry, but I never actually cry for very long.

I don't wear high heels because of the negative health consequences and because I find them unnecassery and pointless. I don't wear make-up because I'm worried about what's in it and what it could do to my skin, but I also see it as unnecassery. Unless I am an actor in a play or a movie, I have no reason for another face. My haircare routune consists of washing, conditioning and brushing it. Sometimes I braid it or put it in a ponytail, if I feel like it. I don't have the time or the inclination to sit there fiddling with it, using loads of products that probably have all sorts of chemicals in them to try and make it look like I've just been to the hairdresser. I also don't dye it. I don't shave, mainly because of laziness, but also partly because I never wanted to in the first place and don't see why body hair on men is fine, but not on women. I don't wear bras, simply because I never wanted to. In general, I find "grooming" to be tedious. I don't even like taking showers sometimes, but I can't not have showers. Because the alternative is a bath and I don't like those at all.

I like to fish, I enjoy motorcycle racing, I enjoy learning about weaponry and combat and I like to do carpentry, which are typically seen as masculine activities.

11. Do you make up your own words? Can you give me a few examples of these if so and how you came up with them?
Sometimes I spell words backwords to see what they are or combine the letters of two or more words to see what I can come up with. Sometimes I use them to create a new language for a character or a world I'm creating.

Ohhh fun!

1- How old are you now?
26
2- How old were you when you heard of asperger's/were diagnosed?
23

About the diagnosis:
How did you hear of Asperger's/get your diagnosis?
I found a mentor working at a special boarding school who immediately recognized what was wrong with me (I'd been trying to figure it out my whole life). She gradually introduced me to the idea by lending me books written by people with autism and eventually told me straight out that she was sure I had aspergers. By then I was already sure myself. I didn't bother to get a diagnosis - it seems such a thing would just cause more harm than good at this point in my life.

Life Before Asperger's:

1- Describe to me how you viewed yourself pre-diagnosis. / 2- What did you struggle with most?
Always lonely and always confused. I did my best to do everything everyone wanted of me and make everyone happy, yet somehow everyone was always mad at me and I was always doing things wrong. Then they were mad at me for not understanding why they were mad, like I was doing it on purpose. Especially my mother. I knew there was something different about me, but I could never figure out what it was. When I was a child I used to imagine that I was some kind of angel sent to the world to do good, and that every time I felt pain, I was taking away from someone else so that they didn't have to suffer. Mostly I was frustrated that everyone always thought I was doing everything wrong, yet wouldn't accept that I was doing my best and it wasn't my fault. The idea that there was something wrong with me was met with rolled eyes and accusations of hypochondria. I never had any real friends, although I tried my hardest to make some. I was always alone and talked to myself constantly.

Life After Asperger's Diagnosis/Suspected diagnosis

1- Did you functioning level change after diagnosis?
Once I knew what was wrong, my priority became learning how to fix it as much as possible. The mentor who "diagnosed" me also coached me and taught me basic social skills like eye contact and conversation. From there I asked the people around me, including friends (wow! friends!) to be direct with me and tell me when I was acting inappropriately, because otherwise I wouldn't know. With this sort of help I got better and better, and these days most people don't know there's anything wrong with me (unless I get severely overstimulated or melt down, which doesn't happen too often in front of other people).

2- How do you view yourself now/right after diagnosis?
I'm pretty happy with who I am in general. I'm extremely proud of the life I've made for myself - I live in Europe in an apartment alone, have a great job that I found and earned myself, managed to obtain a residency/work visa for this country, have amazing friends all of whom accept me just as I am and don't think there's anything wrong with me, and overall my life is pretty good. But I still have really bad days sometimes when I just can't process anything and I end up really depressed or breaking down. I cry more than I feel I should have to given the life I have.

3- What do you struggle with now?
Overstimulation from my job (preschool teacher) and living in a city. Trying to find a man who actually understands and likes me AND isn't already taken. Trying to come to terms with the fact that I may well always be alone. Seasonal depression. The occasional social mistake - I STILL make them sometimes, no matter how much I learn and practice, and it's really disheartening when I do.

4- Is there anything that you think specifically applies to us female aspies that may be left out of male-aspie-oriented literature?
I've only read autobiographical books written by men on the spectrum, so I don't feel in a position to comment here.

5- How important is gender to you? Do you relate more to males or female NT's? other aspies? Other people with other types of disabilities/issues?
I don't consider myself transgendered, but I'm definitely not typically female. All of my friends have always been boys/men. I don't understand or like most women. I don't know any other female aspies, but then again I don't know that many women that I don't have to interact with for work or related reasons.

6- How do you view asperger's and how it relates to your life?
I've found a position in life where I'm surrounded by people who think I'm amazing because I'm so different, so I've developed a very positive attitude in general. Sometimes I get extremely frustrated and depressed because I can't do normal things, but other times I feel blessed to be different from the rest of the herd. NTs seem so stupid and boring to me. The people I'm closest to are either on the spectrum or schizophrenic or otherwise different neurologically. I've learned to blend in, but the rest of the world is still like an alien planet to me and I no longer have any desire to understand or be a part of it any more than necessary.

6a- do you see Asperger's as a disability- or as the next step in human evolution? (or somewhere inbetween)
It's just a difference. It's only a disability in certain situations - there's just as much positive as negative, I think. I wouldn't call it evolution though.

6b- Do you see Asperger's as defining your life or just a part of it?
More and more it is coming to define my life lately. I am progressively accepting and embracing this part of me, largely thanks to the friends I have who praise me for it. Maybe one day I will outgrow this, but I suppose I spent so many years searching for an identity, now that I've found one that's legitimate, I'm holding on to it pretty tightly.

6c-Are there parts of being an Aspie you love?
Absolutely. I have skills others don't. Sometimes I see something "mundane" and it seems hilarious to me. Now that I have a positive environment to live in, I enjoy my difference, my goofiness, my odd sense of humor, and my talents.

6d- Do your "aspie-bilities" make up for your weaknesses in your opinion?
I think they probably balance each other out pretty well. I certainly wouldn't trade in the abilities in exchange for removing the weaknesses.

7- What's your "aspie-talent" if you have one? If you don't- does it bother you that most people assume all aspies have such "super-talent?"
I'm not a savant or anything, but I have some talents. I'm a whiz with grammar and learn foreign languages pretty easily. I notice small mistakes in written material which makes me a good proofreader. I learned to read when I was 3 and I'm an excellent writer.

8- What do you think about children and parenting? Would you want children if you didn't know about Asperger's/weren't diagnosed? Do you want them now?
I never wanted children, definitely not knowing that there's a high chance they'd have autism. I work with kids and it's wonderful, but the idea of dealing with a child 24 hours a day is horrifying. I need a few hours per day to be completely alone or I start getting meltdowns.

8a- does your diagnosis play into how you feel about having children?
It certainly doesn't help matters.

8b- do you feel capable of being a mother to someone- now or in the future?
I'm a mother to my cat, and I'm a part-time mother to the kids at my school. I'm not able to do more than that.

8c- Are you afraid of having kids? Either the responsibility of another life to look after or that you "can't" do it for sensitivity/practical/sensory reasons?
The responsibility is too much. I need my alone time to recharge my batteries and I'd be constantly overstimulated. It would be bad for the child and bad for me.

8d- what do you think might be the biggest challenge a woman might face as an aspie in reguards to parenting that wouldn't effect nt-mothers the same way?
I think in general we can't process stress as well, and stress is a huge part of having children. Nevermind the sensory issues with screaming and crying and the overstimulation in general. When I have a meltdown I can't even take care of myself, let alone a child.

9- Do you have good aspie friends? non-aspie friends? If not when was the last time you had a good friend and does it bother you that you don't have one?
Most of my friends are not aspie, though I have a couple. My closest friends are either schizophrenic or have a history of severe drug addiction (though most of them are clean now). I never had friends until a couple of years ago and it was horrible. I think it was a big part of my depression. I feel very lucky to have people in my life now who understand and embrace me.

10- Are you "girly"? Do you wear make-up? Bother with getting "gussied up"? Do you do it for you or for others? Are there parts of personal hygene that make no sense to you/you struggle with?
HELL no. The idea of wearing girly clothes, heels, or makeup makes me physically sick just to think about. I have been known to have minor breakdowns just from having to be physically close to a "girly" girl for too long. I can't handle the artificiality of it, I think. When one of them is near me it's like there's some sort of demon in the room and I'm the only one who can see it, but I have to pretend I don't because no one will ever believe me. I have learned to wear comfortable women's clothes (rather than men's) so that I no longer give off the signal that I'm a lesbian, but that's as far as I'm willing to go.

11. Do you make up your own words? Can you give me a few examples of these if so and how you came up with them?
When I was in high school I'd occasionally make up a word, but I've forgotten most of them now. They were mostly made by combining existing words in an attempt to be goofy/funny. I think one of them was "flumdigorous," which was a more extreme form of "fantastic." These days I have my fun by twisting around word order in sentences and using existing language in unconventional ways. For example instead of saying "I finished reading another book" I might say "I've run out of book again!"

Good luck with the writing! I hope my answers are helpful to you. I'm looking forward to the results of all this research. I think it's really admirable that you're collecting so much information before you start, and embarking on such a big - possibly very significant - endeavor. Can't wait to read it!

Screening Questions (these are just used so I can group demographics together and hopefully flesh out my charater)
1- How old are you now? 28
2- How old were you when you heard of asperger's/were diagnosed? 13

About the diagnosis:
How did you hear of Asperger's/get your diagnosis?
School psychologist and psychiatrists.


Life Before Asperger's:

1- Describe to me how you viewed yourself pre-diagnosis.
Like a special ed idiot who would die crazy or from something stupid like falling into a hole in the road.

2- What did you struggle with most?
Maintaining friendships... then grades and caring about them.


Life After Asperger's Diagnosis/Suspected diagnosis

1- Did you functioning level change after diagnosis?
Not really, until I explored a few different modes of treatment and landed on one that has worked out for me.

2- How do you view yourself now/right after diagnosis?
I have pulled through and become what people thought was impossible. Achieving more than everyone expected of me.

3- What do you struggle with now?
Being satisfied with my level of achievement and intimate relationships.

4- Is there anything that you think specifically applies to us female aspies that may be left out of male-aspie-oriented literature?
The masculine/feminine dichotomy in general. I prefer humyn gender identity which is something that applies more to "female" aspies being that in such a society that most of us live in now... we end up defining gender roles.

5- How important is gender to you? Do you relate more to males or female NT's? other aspies? Other people with other types of disabilities/issues
I am a women who likes males generally but, I am very masculine because I grew up with two brothers and lots of male friends. I tend to be too agressive to maintain relationships with women friends and male friends generally feel a level of discomfort hanging out with a women my age without there being a level of sexuality explorable in our relationship. I also scare a lot of men with my dominating attitude.

6- How do you view asperger's and how it relates to your life?
I view it as an ability and something that affect every facet of my life. I rely on it for uniqueness and alternate approaches to problem solving... It has turned into a skill set I am valued for.

6a- do you see Asperger's as a disability- or as the next step in human evolution? (or somewhere inbetween)
I dont think it is a next step in human evolution however, I do think it is a coevolutionary result of humyn submersion and breading in postindustrial environments. Its not that aspies are better or some how the next gen... they are just another result of biological beings interacting with new surroundings.

6b- Do you see Asperger's as defining your life or just a part of it?
Just a part of it... the label was put on me by specialists paid to categorize particular behaviors and identify specific groups who act similar... I would live just fine without it.

6c-Are there parts of being an Aspie you love?
Yes. People hit me up for ideas all the time and I love it because that is my favorite task. Dreaming up new s**t all the time.

6d- You said you are good at organizing and making stuff- do your "aspie-bilities" make up for your weaknesses in your oppinion?
Uhm, I am not sure who or what this question is referring too but, I knew I had a weakness in forming my own opinion going into college and so I forced myself to join the debate team and find my own voice. Havent had a problem with it since.

7- What's your "aspie-talent" if you have one? If you don't- does it bother you that most people assume all aspies have such "super-talent?"
I would say creative ideation and an ability to perceive high frequency refresh rates of lighting/electronics/monitors. It makes me hypersensitive to color and visual stimuli but... I turned that into a profession and I now get paid for that ability. It does not bother me that people think aspies have a super talent, it bothers me that people assume "regular" people do not have a super talent. Its a matter or recognizing and fostering individual talents.

8- What do you think about children and parenting? Would you want children if you didn't know about Asperger's/weren't diagnosed? Do you want them now?
They sound like a lot of anxiety, money and work. I dont know if I want kids but... naturally I find them adorable. It seams selfish to have kids only to be amused by a minime... but, that seams to sum up human behavior surrounding kids anyhow.

8a- does your diagnosis play into how you feel about having children?
No.

8b- do you feel capable of being a mother to someone- now or in the future?
No, and I challenge you to find someone who feels totally capable... ever.

8c- Are you afraid of having kids? Either the responsibility of another life to look after or that you "can't" do it for sensitivity/practical/sensory reasons?
I am not afraid, just dreading the lack of sleep already.

8d- what do you think might be the biggest challenge a woman might face as an aspie in reguards to parenting that wouldn't effect nt-mothers the same way?
Being perceived as non-judgmental and affectionate towards their children.

9- Do you have good aspie friends? non-aspie friends? If not when was the last time you had a good friend and does it bother you that you don't have one?
No I dont have good aspie friends or regular friends. I might have a good friend or two now however, I am not sure and I dont know if I will ever really think I have a "good" friend. I havent had a good friend since middle school, I think. It rarely bothers me.

10- Are you "girly"? Do you wear make-up? Bother with getting "gussied up"? Do you do it for you or for others? Are there parts of personal hygene that make no sense to you/you struggle with?
My looks make it hard for me to not be seen as girly. I do not wear makeup. I do get gussied up because I believe utilizing individual sexual capitol is part of getting ahead in the modern work place. Men do it and womyn should be able to do it without shame. I get gussied up for others but, at the same time it makes me feel better because of other peoples perception and how they treat me through out the day in return. People are ridiculously nice to you when you look good or like you put in a little effort. For a long time I struggled with even caring about showering every day but, interacting more with people at work and guys who were genuinely interested in me made a difference. I figured I should try and see what happened. Since then I have trained myself to just do it every day.

11. Do you make up your own words? Can you give me a feew examples of these if so and how you came up with them?
I do not make up my own words. I do make a habit of mixing words together to describe stuff on the fly because I think it is part of an evolving, living language system... People make new words by throwing subjective linguistic values together all the time and they get adapted or they die.