Is anyone here aromantic and asexual?

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Because I guess that's just what I might be.

So, I'm 19, female, and I guess I'm potentially bi, meaning that I can find both women's and men's appearance appealing. I had two or three mild crushes when I was between 8 and 12 and then when I was 13 I kinda fell in love with a girl from my class. Yeah turned out she felt the same but as she was kinda mentally.. unstable we never got together. I was sad for a while but quickly got over it.

Two years later I had something between a crush and love for a guy, also in my class. He hit on me a few times but since I couldn't decide whether or not I actually loved him I didn't really react to it.

So the few times I felt close to something like love it was really unstable (burning desire today, disinterest tomorrow) and didn't last long, but most importantly it didn't come with the wish for a relationship. I feel kind of constricted and annoyed by other people's emotions, so at best I would have settled for something like friends with benefits, if there wasn't my sexual disinterest Which manifests in a way that I can feel sexually attracted by people, but I'd never really consider "doing the deed" with them. I masturbate since I'm 8 (is that very early? Feels like it) and I guess my libido is essentially normal or a little weaker (1-3 times per week), and I don't have trouble climaxing either (in fact I only need like, 10 seconds). I have noticed, however, that I can only get off on friction, not penetration (man, sure feels weird to talk about this), that doesn't do anything for me.

Yeah so to summarize, I had a few weak crushes (and then nothing, for 3 years now) and no real desire for a relationship. And sex for me is something you do alone once in a while to satisfy a need, almost like eating or drinking, just because it's a part of life- I don't see it in any kind of romantic light.

Could I be aromantic/asexual? I've taken a few online tests but the problem is that most assume that you've already had sex...

EDIT: I just did another test and the result describes me PERFECTLY:

Self-Sexual

You make sex yours!

You may not hear this one very often, but it's an interesting branch of asexuality.

It looks like you quite enjoy sex...with yourself. This is by no means a bad thing, though. You know what turns you on and you don't need help from anyone. You may be an asexual fetishist, demisexual, asexual, romantic-asexual, or aromantic asexual, but either way, you make the walls shake with your solo acts.

You do not feel the need to have sex with another person. You most likely feel no sexual attraction at all for other people. You probably feel a much stronger sexual attraction toward erotica, images, art, stories, hentai, and your very own creative sexy mind. Your sex is not to be shared and you feel annoyed, uncomfortable, or apathetic when someone barges in on your parade.

Sex is a big part of your life, but not when it's intercourse with another person. You are independent, intelligent, and know what's needed to get the job done."

I'm an aromantic asexual.
Check out asexuality.org (AVEN) and sign up for the message boards.
It might help you figure out your identity a little better.

I'm also Aromantic and Asexual. I also find men and women aesthetically pleasing, so potentially bi and indeed a little self sexual These features though are fluid and inconsistent, eh... all part of being an aspie. you can find me on AVEN if you want, cany miss the purple text!

I'm ace as well. I completely relate to your post. Sometimes I would find a boy cute, have a crush, get the boyfriend, and the moment he hugged or got close to me, I would feel completely disinterested in him. In general I'm very pro-sex (I mean, obviously it's great for others), but the thought of myself engaging in sex with another person is pretty revolting and terrifying for me. I don't rule out that there could be an exception to this rule; perhaps I might be demisexual, but I generally accept that this is me.

The most frustrating part of it is that there really is not any reliable test out there to confirm whether one is asexual (just as whether one is LGBT-alphabet soup). If you believe you are, though, then don't let anyone tell you otherwise! As the other posters have mentioned there are some great online resources, like AVEN, plenty of tumblr blogs, and a most excellent culture involving cake It's a community that's visibly expanding online (and slowly, offline), and one that will certainly welcome you if you feel you belong there.

I identify as pansexual so I don't have the same feelings, but I think all sexual orientations are awesome, and as stated before the asexuality.org site is a great resource!!

So you've experienced both romantic attraction and sexual attraction yet think you're an aromantic asexual?

Howzat work?

Because the romantic attraction was weak and unsteady and I never wanted an actual relationship, and the sexual attraction to actual people occured only 2-3 times in my life and once again I didn't want actual sex to follow.

You sound more grey-a grey-romantic than aromantic asexual then.

AVEN is a good resource .

As far as I'm aware, I have no romantic inclinations. I have no interest in being part of a romantic relationship and can't really relate to that idea. I am bisexual, though. I think it's interesting how my friends are concerned about their "future spouses". My best friend (who is also an aspie) talked about her concerns I've had family members and friends say to me and I'll someday regret not engaging in a romantic relationship with someone, but that's just daft. If I want to be romantic with someone when I'm older, then I'll do it then. I'm not going to waste my time on something that I don't even want to participate in. Sure - I am sexually inclined, but it has no bearing on my romantic inclinations.

I'm self-sexual too; I'm not even sure what being romantically attracted to someone feels like: I can find people visually attractive or appealing but never consider having sex or even dating them. I've only ever dated once in my life, for two weeks, and I enjoyed the boy's company, but more as a friend, and I felt nothing at all when two weeks later he sort of "slipped away" and found himself another girl without mentioning it. Part of me feels like I'll be missing out on a big part of life experience if i don't at least try dating at some point, but the rest of me just can't be bothered; the idea of the social interaction, unspoken rules and constant touching are enough to completely put me off.

i thought i was asexual from when i was about 16 to 18 almost 19 . then once i entered college i realized i was just a late bloomer .i thought i was bi or gay and then i realized it was really awkward for me to hit on girls and things were smoother with guys.then i was in my first relationship we fooled around but i didn't feel comfortable having sex with him ,it turns out there was a reason why because he didnt make me feel comfortable and was a total a**hole. then i met my soulmate ,had burning passion and was more comfortable losing my virginity. it felt natural. this all happened within a short amount of time in about a year .I didnt expect i would be sexual ,kiss someone or even have sex let alone find my soulmate.

I think if you want to experiment with relationships ,be open to it and just see how you like it,relationships and life is very fluid ,people change all the time in different phases of life and you can be in a non traditional relationship.

"Yeah so to summarize, I had a few weak crushes (and then nothing, for 3 years now) and no real desire for a relationship. And sex for me is something you do alone once in a while to satisfy a need, almost like eating or drinking, just because it's a part of life- I don't see it in any kind of romantic light."

Once you enter into a serious relationship it is very very different . and you might feel differently about sex,the love you have for the person might transform how you think about sex. Or not you could just be a self sexual.just be open to where life takes you,its very unexpected.

For a while I thought I was asexual too, but I am probably not. I have never had sex though. My sexuality is quite complex it seems. When I was little I only had "crushes" on boys, the first when I was 7 and another on-and-off from when I was 9 until I was 14. When I was 16-17 I had a crush on another guy and had sexual thoughts about him. One year ago I had another crush and that was really a "WOAH"-moment, I felt such a strong connection and it was overwhelming. I felt like I wanted to share everything with him. But he had a wife and kids so I didn´t go further. I had questioned my sexuality for one year so I thought it was sealed by then.

However I have always enjoyed looking at beautiful girls/women. I always find myself checking out pretty girls in public and I barely do that with guys. I have realized lately that I´m very turned on by the female body but as far as I know I have never felt "in love" with girls/women. I´ve never felt that "being in a bubble of bliss"-feeling.

It´s just like I feel like I can´t have sex with guys unless I´m in love with him because I´m not really turned on by the male body itself. But I feel like I can have sex with any woman I find pleasing to look at. This makes me confused.

I've been wondering about this lately. I do have sexual thoughts about people and I do have a sex drive so I don't think I'm asexual. I think I'm capable of being in a relationship but as I haven't been in one I'm not entirely sure about that yet. I haven't had romantic feelings for anybody I've known in real life since I was 14. I'm nearly 20 now. It ended quite badly so I'm not sure if I'm just traumatized from that experience or just really not interested in relationships. I'm still working on figuring it out.

I might be. I have no interest in being in a romantic or sexual relationship with another person.

I feel like I hover between aromantic and semi-romantic (I made that up, it's not a category I've ever heard of). Sometimes a relationship sounds nice but most of the time I don't really care for the idea.

Same here. My mechanical/sensory sexuality is intact, but I have never had sexual thoughts about anyone, though I tried to find them.
Apart from a couple og childhood/teenage crushes and a painful, stormy non sexual relationship with a girlfriend, I have had two longer engagements with men when, I was 18 and 19, - but I actually never had sex. Never missed it.
Skin against skin....Yakkk! Kissing on the mouth....Yakkk!
Let us say that I am mentally asexual, but I still enjoy the look of handsome men, - and sometimes women.