Feelings towards males

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I feel a little resentful towards guys in general. It's not that I hate them all; I have a boyfriend and he's fine. I just feel inferior to them, because they have put me down a lot, calling me an ugly psycho and what not. I have been envious of boys, including my bf. I am also worried about getting too close, as I feel that that would make me feel like I've lost. I don't want to feel used. The idea of sex terrifies me.
Is this normal? Anyone experienced this?

You don't say how old you are. If "the idea of sex terrifies" you,
you should put it off until it feels right and it's mutual.
If you feel pressured into it, of course you will "feel used."

There's no pressure, and it's mutual. It's hard to explain how I feel about this.

I've never had sex, but does this sound familiar to you (pp. 37-38 )?

Yes I suppose that makes sense. Especially about losing the self and not going back.

I have a great deal of problems with men, I have always preferred the company of other womyn. I get seriously disrespected & put down by men. All they seem to want is sex, they can't treat me as an equal so I don't deal with them unless they are married to friends of mine. I even avoid professional relationships if I can possibly avoid it (therapists and such)

my sex drive tends to be very very high and aggressive, and i have very strong feelings about boys. only, i dont know what to do around them (i had a problem in school where i would touch boys all the time and get in a lot of trouble)

Most of my pals are men but at the same time I am absolutely terrified of strange men. It is such a struggle to work up the courage to talk to men and then they won't talk back.

I want a relationship but have many valid reasons for my fear of men. I had an abusive father. An emotionally abusive ex and another who used me for sex. I am afraid of men hurting me but to quick to trust once they convince me they care. It's for this reason I have decided to instate a 90 day rule. No sex until we have been together 3 months. Unfortunately I have not had the opportunity to use this rule since I made it.

I'm scared most adult men unless I have company. I'm a fairly small individual and could be overpowered quite easily. A lot of men put on a lot of sexual pressure which makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable. Despite this, most of my closest friends are men. My best friend is a man and I trust him with everything. So yeah.

I honestly can't relate. Certain men might frighten or creep me out, but that's pretty rare. Most of the time, I feel neutral towards men as I do with women. It's not like I have never had bad experiences with dudes because, trust me, I did. But I've never felt that those particular dudes reflect the behaviour of most guys out there. Same applies to the women who have f****d me over. My attitude has always been that everyone has the potential to be awful, no matter how innocent and unassuming they may seem. Growing up in Glasgow kind of does that to you I suppose.

As for whether fearing men is "normal" , well imo it's not normal or healthy, but I suppose it's a lot more common than some women are willing to let on.

I'm sorry if I might seem harsh. I don't really know what traumas you might have faced that led you to your phobia and I don't judge your character for it. I just honestly can't empathise whatsoever.

For me it always seemed to be easier to be in contact with boys. So I feel less pressured around them, to act in a girl specific way, in the meaning of "Barbie behavior". There are as well boys, that do critisize me about that, but they normally simply tell you in their face and its ok and you dont spend time with them and everyone is fine. With girls it happened far more often to me, that I spended times with certain girls or certain groups, and everyone behaved fine and and normal towards me, and everything seemed to be alright, and I thought we were ok with each others, and afterwards I heard from other person, how they were talking bad behind my back about me, made fun about me or lied to me to avoid me and so on. I never forced my presence on anyone, and I dont have the attituded that everyone must like me. It does not hurt me, if someone tells me, that I annoy him. But it does hurt, if someone gave me the feeling of enjoying to spend time with me, and then I get to know from others, how much they hate it.

As well as the boys that I spent time with, mostly know, that I am simply blind towards stuff like "flirting behavior" and other stuff. So I dont really get it if someone would be flirting with me, neither was I really interested in that stuff, nor were I able to do so on my own. So if a certain behavior of mine could be misinterpreted or disturbed them, they simply told me, because of them knowing that I was unaware of it. (So it seemed that I had the habbit of "cozying and playing" my pencils with my mouth, while playing Dungeons and Dragons. So they were not mad about it or anything, but simply made me aware, while joking, that in the intensity I did so, it caused them to give them certain feelings, and if I did not want to do so on purpose, if I could reduce it a bit. ^^) They laughed about it, I laughed about it, everyone felt fine. While with girls, I normally got told so from third persons, after the affected persons started gossiping around and talking behind my back to other people about it... -.-

When it comes to feeling used or not. I know of people, thinking that a friend of mine, that I had an "Friends with benefits" relation with, was misusing me and taking advantage of the fact, that I may have been emotionally a bit behind then my peer. (While being rather intelligent to IQ.) But for me it simply does not feel the way. I had tried before to be in an relationship, but I simply did not have the need for them. I did not want to spend my average time with an boy, and as well were my thoughts not focused towards boys or relationship all the time. It annoyed me to be forced to waste time, meeting their friends and families, while I could have gone instead for my interests meanwhile. I simply had no need for an relationship, but my puberty matured body was simply horny as hell every now and then. ^^ So relationship was awful, one night stand is as well not to my liking, friends with benefit instead felt perfect for me. You like each other, you respect each other, but you dont annoy each other with stuff like "meeting your boyfriends parents" or the expectations that the opposite is 24 hours a day thinking only of you, instead of playing Diablo or whatever. As long as you feel fine with it, and your opposite is as well caring if you feel fine with it, I see nothing bad about that. And if you actually dont feel fine about the sexstuff, then there is as well nothing bad about it. Sex is something you should do, because of you feeling the need for it. If you dont feel the need for it, no prob and no reason to bother yourself and annoy yourself about the topic, by forcing yourself to think about it, when it actually feels negative for you.

Hey Im sorry for earlier as a male I feel the same way towards females and am sometimes afraid of them even though i am attracted to them its rather complicated but I do not hate them.Dont be so down on yourself or feel inferior there are times everyone feels inferior to one another I dont think anyone is inferior to anyone. To the OP I am sincerally sorry.My solution to my problems is shut myself away from the world and not trust anyone and the live the rest of my days in solitude, don't let yourself get into a situation where Im in. Like get into an abusive relationship to where your broken down to a point where you have no drive to do anything anymore or want to trust anyone anymore the world is full of monsters just be prepared but dont expect everyone to be one. The world is a tricky and mysterious place, I have given up on it for the most part you still have a sporting chance.

Women have every right to be resentful towards men in general. The patriarchy is a system of oppression that benefits men, in particular white, heterosexual christian men of means, at the expense of those who are not in that class. Sexist oppression is unique among other "isms" because traditionally and in general, women are most closely bound in life with a man within a heterosexual relationship. In this way, women are prevented from uniting as a group or class. We tend to understand our suffering as an unfortunate but unique series of "bad relationships," when in fact the fundamental similarities and patterns of abuse are so predictable and common if we could only share without fear of men we would be astounded.