Sexism against guys

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Recent data seems to suggest that Girls do better in school these days than boys, perhaps its because they know theyve got competition. If feminism is the belief that men and women deserve equal rights and protection from harassment than Im all for it; it feminism is the belief that women are entitled to social priviledges that men arent because Nature was unfair to them then I oppose it.

Girls do do better than boys in school, on average. I don't think competition has anything to do with it. School is highly structured and girls/women do well in highly structured environments. How well you do in school (e.g. grades) has no correlation with how well you do in the real world, though, so I wouldn't get to worked up about it. Unless boys have a hard time with not doing as well. In which case let's change how school measures success, since getting good grades gives people the illusion they'll do well in the real world and so isn't particularly useful to good students either.

that's because the person who pulls the weapon isn't willing to actually use it to defend themselves. If you carry a gun, you have to be willing to shoot to kill someone who's attacking you. Otherwise, it's more dangerous to you. Likewise if you pull a knife: you have to be willing to stab for major targets.



Aikido.
Good for awareness, reading body language, using an attacker's weight and strength against them.
I've thought about trying jujitsu to get some ground training in, but I'm a little intimidated by the 'badass' attitude of a lot of jujitsuka; a lot of them don't seem like they'd be able to train with women the same way that they train with men. What's your dojo like?

Most of the attackers don't know if a person has a concealed carry permit until the attack is in progress, at which point they have committed to the degree that they're not going to back down if they think that the victim isn't going to actually shoot them. Case in point: my mom went through a 'tough' phase in which she kept a rifle (22) under her bed. I came in late one night, and she came out with the gun - without having cocked it, and with the barrel pointed at the floor. If I were a bad guy, I could have taken the gun away from her pretty damn easily, because it was clear that she wasn't willing to shoot anyone with it.

That's disingenuous. What he said:
"I actually walked up close to them and in one case I shouted at her: 'what the f_ck are you staring at b***h??'"

He invaded her personal space. He raised his voice. He used a gendered epithet specifically designed to make a woman feel that her sex is less valuable. If you wouldn't feel physically threatened by a larger person behaving in that manner towards you, well... good luck staying alive, because your instincts aren't all that great.

For the record: that wasn't me.

Im amazed by the ego of Aikidoka. Aikido is very useful but it is NOT by any means the most effective martial art and if you're attack is suffiently bigger, stronger, and heavier its not that much use. By far the most effective martial art in the world is Shaolin Kung Fu; and Brazilian Jujitsu is also VERY effective in hand-to-hand combat. Its also quite easy to disarm someone weaker than you who is wielding a knife. BTW LKL, What means do you think women should use to defend themselves?
You do realize that even the worlds greatest martial artists arent fast and agile enough to dodge a bullet fired at close range(once the gun is actually fired).

*snort*
talk about your straw-man setup.
I never claimed that Aikido was "the most effective martial art," only that it's good for "awareness, reading body language, and using an attacker's strength and weight against them." I certainly never claimed that I or any other aikidoka could dodge bullets fired at close range.
I specifically said that I'd like to try jujitsu for ground work, because Aikido doesn't cover it. I would not, however, go to a BJJ dojo because BJJ practitioners are even bigger a**holes, in general, than the average jujitsuka. I actually have met a few nice jujitsuka; one of the men who trains at my dojo cross-trains in jujitsu (has black belts in both), and fwiw, says that Aikido is 'more powerful.' Under what circumstances, he didn't say.

If you have any objective evidence that "By far the most effective martial art in the world is Shaolin Kung Fu," other than the t.v. show and other than Kung Fu practitioners talking about how great their art is, let me know.

Two of the largest men I've ever met train at my dojo - not fat, just huge people. One of them is close to seven feet tall and probably weighs around 300lbs - and he's been practicing aikido for decades. If he wanted to, he could crush me just by falling on me and there's not much that I could do about it. It's certainly true that, given similar skill levels, a larger person has an advantage over a smaller person, and the greater the size disparity the greater the skill that is needed to overcome the inequality. It is not true, however, that it's impossible to overcome someone larger than oneself*, even if one is the proverbial "100 lb woman" that people like you always bring up to demonstrate how utterly ridiculous it is to think that a woman could ever possibly defend herself against a man. Even a 100lb woman holding a knife can slash the hands of someone who is trying to take it away from her, and if she knows how to hold it properly it will take more damage to the attacker in order to get it away from her. She simply has to be willing to do as much damage as possible to him - and if she is, she's better off with the knife than without it, because at the least some of his blood will be left at the crime scene.

Of course, ANY martial artist is going to be trumped by someone standing 10 feet away with a gun, if they are willing to use the gun.

*especially if he's an idiot.

Yeah, the martial arts digression was a bit of a birdwalk. But what Im wondering LKL is-are you against people carrying firearms for self-defense? Do you think its a bad idea?

Anyhow, moving on....EVERY online aspie community/forum Ive ever been part of(WP, AFF, AI, Aspergia) seems to have its fare share of outspoken misogynists and androphobes. So yes, there is plenty of sexism here on WP going BOTH directions.
Part of me is thinking "WHY are so many aspies so freakin' sexist???" But I think a better way to phrase this question is-why do so many aspies have issues with the opposite sex?(including having problems just getting along with them as people)
Surely its possible to be a feminist without regarding *All* men as The Enemy. Most of the NT women I run into IRL dont seem to have a problem with men in general and certainly dont complain about how unfair it is to be female.

I don't have a problem with people carrying firearms as long as they have made a commitment to themselves never to draw it unless they're going to kill with it. Otherwise it's a bluff, and too often an outraged attacker will call the bluff. IIrc there's already a requirement to be able to hit a target before you get your carry permit; I'm not sure if you're required to know the legal ramifications of shooting someone, even in self defense, but it's probably a good idea.


wrt misogyny/misandry, I was wondering the other day how much of it is due to the current dating climate where we reject, over and over, and are rejected by, over and over, the opposite sex. If arranged marriages have one benefit to society, perhaps that's it.

&



I think we are just talking about interpretation. I never skipped parts of your paragraph to which I first replied . However, I did read it differently than you did. I tried to make a short summary in that last response to why I answered in the way I did. (for example what I considered vague, etc.)

So simply put. The problem I think was a matter of interpretation, but I think we are both clear on what each of us meant now. So that should clear the confusion.



According to his first post, she invaded his personal space first. We cannot truly know this, or even if the situation is true at all, not being there and all...but I'm simply assuming it from the context that IF it was true.

While he certainly had no right to be rude back...she was rude first. Either they are deserving of equal blame...or the first person is deserving of the blame for inciting it. So let us assume they are of equal blame in this scenario.

Don't start with the gender epithet of "b***h"...Most people look at b***h, a**hole, asshat, f*ckhead, dick, jerk, whore, etc. etc. In the same light. Its an insult. Most people don't even think of the word in context.

Maybe some do...however, I know I certainly don't, and do not know many that do. I even call other guys b*****s sometimes. To me it just means an insult or joke(when we are assuming the aspect of making a joke...which isnt in this case.)... I think you are looking too deeply into those words.

I would never constitute such words as oppression in such context. Merely anger. Thats all. Harassment maybe...oppression no.

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And additionally...as I said before, the context of the persons size has NOTHING to do with a definition for oppression. Even a small person attempting to marginilize a person MUCH MUCH larger, is no less of fault. The small person might be a F*cking idiot for doing so, given the natural advantage of the larger one, however it is equally as bad.

I actually did NOT get up in her face, I simply said what I said as I walked towards her. There was NOTHING that I did that was illegal nor did I threaten violence! What I did is make it clear that by staring at me with a nasty look on her face was confrontational and I have very little patience for passive-aggressive behaviour. BTW LKL, I use the word b***h indescriminantly of gender(that is, I call men b*****s as well as women). I wanted her to stop staring and I tried to ignore and look away but she kept at it. If someone is going to be provocative the she was than she shouldnt be dismayed that I challenged her to a confronation.

OFF TOPIC

That's not the way to argue even in a PPR Forum by direct attacks.

Feelings have no validation espeacially when expressed through insults.

@ Haliphron:
You raised your voice. You "walked up close" to her and called her a name usually used in sexist contexts. You were, by your own description, sufficiently larger than her that you think that you could beat her up with little recourse from her. If you don't think that's physically threatening, I say again that you better be lucky because your ability to read social situations sucks (not unheard of around here, goodness knows).
@Hero:
Staring at someone is rude, but it is not invading their personal space. Haliphron is the one who escalated the conflict into the realm of the physical, not the woman who was staring.

OK, I admit that I was being a macho jackass but if I had done that to a GUY who was shorter than me and called him a "b***h" would you consider that to be not as bad? She wasnt just staring, she had a dirty look on her face and she refused to stop staring EVEN when I looked back at her with an angry look. By not stopping , she was the one who escalated the situation-I wanted her to stop and thats the only thing at the time I really knew would work.
MissConstrue: WHO were you referring to? Me? or LKL?

If you had done that to a guy who was equally unable to defend himself and had an equally reasonable sense of sexual threat, I would indeed consider that to be Just As Bad.

My emotional response, for some cultural reasons I don't really understand, is to say that might be even worse. I'm sort of used to guys feeling like it's fine to behave that way towards women, and I understand that for some of them it involves a kind of sexualized macho thrill. I'm not a fan, but I'm aware that otherwise decent people will do this because they've somehow come to believe it's ok. If you're doing that to another guy, I have no other explanation than that you're just an ass. . .

and that would be the voice of the deep imprint that's been made on my psyche by the patriarchy--because if you're doing that to a woman. . . you're just an ass.




Escalating the situation means taking it to a greater level of intensity or violence than it was at before. Are you actually saying she was the one who did the escalating by not letting you win easier?