Autistic/Aspergian Women and Abortions

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Apx, I think talking to your partner about it would be a great idea. Even if his reaction is less than happy, at least you can share your dilemma with someone else. Don't bottle this up.

Sean, shut your mouth and leave the poor woman alone. She's dealing with serious issues and your selfish moralizing will only make her feel bad. This thread is not the place to indulge your sentimental feelings about an early conceptus.

OP:

Whatever you choose, do it for you.

If you genuinely don't want to have another child, have the abortion and request a sedative. But do it only for yourself. Not for your boyfriend's feelings.

That would require her to explain to her NT partner that she cheated on him with another Aspie to conceive an an Aspie child. Talking that out would be dicey at best. At the same time, if she has the abortion secretly and stays together with the NT partner, she has to deal with the fear of what would happen if the NT partner found out about the abortion later.

Like I said earlier, the OP needs our compassion right now and not our judgment. There is a lot at stake.

lol. Hey, guys, I did put my actual question in bold type you know.

I really don't mind what anyone feels is a baby or isn't. I don't even know for sure myself.

But it turns out the situation just rectified itself.. I've either been building up a very late, sore, bloated, hormonally charged period, which also made me pee frequently and have reflux, or I've just evacuated the stuff voluntarily. I'm bleeding a ton, yay!

Thanks so much for your support in any case. I was rather upset. Hopefully I'll never have to know how an aspie copes during an abortion.

Glad to hear the situation has rectified itself - hope you're feeling better soon though, lol

Take care.

I just have to clarify, we were broken up for a year. We've only started being able to understand each other recently, now that I know I have/am AS.

Well, I am very, very happy that the situation was rectified. However, since you weren't with the NT ex-partner at the time, and you and the NT ex are only starting to understand each other (not date each other), then what exactly was the conflict about? What am I missing here?

Im not being selfish!! ! your very rude to say that! >:I

Unconquered, I am genuinely confused. I was not judging Apx at all. She says she felt her NT boyfriend would want her to have an abortion against her wishes, and I suggested that she ask him his views first. I am not ordering her around or judging her in the slightest, just offering advice since his views were one of the main worries she had.

If anything, you are the one judging by making the presumption that she cheated on him, either with or without the aim to purposely get pregnant, which is very unfair. Apx made no reference to whether she and the NT guy were together at the time, so you should certainly should not presume that!

Anyway, this is irrelevant now. Apx, I'm very glad to hear the situation sorted itself out. Perhaps you should get a pregnancy test done just to be 100% sure (if that's not too judgmental )

We're due to move in with each other again in 6 weeks. We've been getting along really well (this time) and I didn't want to sour it with "btw, I'm having my last boyfriend's baby."

@Seanmw - May I express my disgust and resentment that a TEENAGE MALE had the NERVE to post on a woman's discussion thread about abortion? To me it reeks of arrogance, immaturity and sexism that he would presume to know what is best for Apx!! !

Oh, he doesn't care about Apx. He cares about the contents of her uterus, and doesn't give a s**t about her as a person.

Pro-lifers make me sick. Never mind the woman, who is a real, breathing, conscious being. It's all about the undeveloped lump of gelatine inside her. She doesn't matter compared to that.

OK -- so you are getting back together.

well, sorry if i've offended .

i was simply expressing my opinion. I didn't tell anyone to do anything, i just simply agreed with one of the posts above me. & now simply because i'm a TEENAGE MALE, i'm getting the evil eye from all directions.
i'm not trying to push my morals or insist anyone do anything.
i wasn't trying to sound overly critical of her or anyone's choices,
i was simply expressing a view.

All i did was agree with a FEMALE poster, who suggested putting it up for adoption as an alternative .

not going to post in this thread anymore because it has become overwhelmingly apparent that i'm not at all welcome.
goodbye

You're welcome here by me. I think the other poster was overreacting. Abortion is a very polarizing issue and emotions are bound to run high, especially on an Internet forum.

I don't mind males expressing opinions on abortion, I just think most of the time they don't fully understand - they haven't really taken the time to put themselves in the woman's shoes.

Imagine you have a uterus, and you are pregnant. You don't want this pregnancy. If you go through with it, it will drastically affect your body and your life. Your body will change. You'll be tired, in pain, normal movements that you wouldn't think twice about will be awkward. You'll have to treat yourself delicately all the time in case you do something that might harm your baby. If you have any addictions you'll have to get over them real fast. You'll have to watch your emotions in case you get stressed or angry and all those raging adrenal hormones affect your growing baby.

Would you do all that for something that isn't yet even a baby? Would you really want to force that on someone who doesn't want to and isn't ready?